From the broadcast on RBC TV channel

Q: It seems to me that the program to reduce gas imports in Europe by 20% by 2020 is a conspiracy against Russia.

P is no. Europeans are trying to be rational.

Q: Any rational behavior is a conspiracy against Russia.

Shaw: What are you doing?
3809 I want to eat.
3809: My mother's guests
3809: I don’t want to go
Chaaab: then put a note under the door with the inscription - Mom, bring food)

D: How is your boyfriend there?
L: Let him fuck him! Imagine yesterday came to me, immediately for the computer, I meanwhile went to the kitchen for tea, literally FIVE seconds was absent, and he, damn, in the meantime had time to put and set up R-Admin!!! to
D: Yes, he definitely has talent!

XXX: today from the head of growth supervision arrived a decree
XXX: urgently check the fire status of all facilities and fire extinguishing equipment, instructs staff
XXX: The forest is burning
XXX: and no one fucking that we have been raining every day for the second month.

Interview between admin(a) and accountant(b):
A: What are you doing there?
B: How about what? The main task of the accountant is to lay chocolate in the box of the table all day, but you can't do it!
A is FI! Your approach is fundamentally wrong! You need to get all the chocolates out of the envelopes, put them in one bunch in the sun, and then all night and all night sort this clogged meat by the right labels! It is for us!

from JJ:

Andris
2010-08-06 05:03 pm
As if we do not have to remember this summer as the first summer with a new climate.

Z: For the first time in a year, due to weather conditions and forest fires, the company that today the working day is up to 4 hours. It was especially pleasant to read it at 6 a.m. when I came back from a 3-hour meeting.

The Matrix servers serving the central part of Russia are overloaded. Bad well-being of people is caused by disruptions in life support systems, smoke curtains are used to reduce the load on the graphic subsystem, reducing the range of drawing.

and Michelson:
They can’t make cars. Hitler also told his friend the Porsche ''GAVNO your tanks '' and unrestrained and took on the tiger design of the Henkel brothers in 1943. And the Porsche on the electric chassis of his tiger even on the show to Hitler managed to break.

andr :
)))))))))) Porsche thought and decided: - Once the offensive technique is fucking, let's do the offensive.

As one of my acquaintances said, there is nothing more useful in the household than a guilty husband :)

My mom burned up today. ?
WOW :?
xxx: says, last time I went to work, I stand, suddenly a drunk man comes out of somewhere, begins to get acquainted, married calls))) the bus came up, my mom went in, the man too) sat on the back seat and on the entire oral Woman, pay for me!))
Tagged with: rofl

In life, like in a fairy tale, fools are always on a horse.

Not about football, but about women.

The scene first.
The summer. by Dacia. Two middle-aged men (brothers) are looking very enthusiastically at the World Cup in football. and beer. The Emotions. and Zadar.
The older brother’s wife appears in the room and asks an innocent question:
What are you looking at, guys?
- Hockey, - replies the spouse
(Little pause, laughing laughter of both brothers)
- With the ball, - continues the older brother, internally striking the one who covered him.
A humorous inspiration.
(But the laughter of the brothers becomes even more ridiculous.)
...and without clothes! He is finishing.
(Both brothers no longer hide their enthusiasm over how subtle and meticulous the strike of ignorance was with the help of the all-winning satire.)

The second scene.
The next day. The Lunch. The actors are the same.
Both brothers, being essentially their nuclear Siberian men, loved to enjoy meat delicacies, and under a drink.
(Exclusively to exacerbate appetite) This time, they found in their plates something clearly out of line with expectations. Only the gifts of their own garden were guessed, clearly not attracted to the role of the main dish.
This is what? The elderly asked.
“Warm,” the wife replied reluctantly.
(pause, confusion in the eyes of men)
With vegetables, she continued.
(An even worse pause)
And without meat, the avenged woman cut off.
This is what is called “control in the head.” A large plastic bottle is removed from the refrigerator and put on the table next to the falling jaw of both brothers:
The mineral goes well. Eat you guys.

P.S Do not anger women, it will be more expensive.

Why can’t you say in Russian “I will win” or “I will win”?

Because our ancestors used to saying, “We will win!”

With the support of hosting.
18:48:52 Please wait a little while, the operator will join you.
18:48:56 Operator Rudy Alexander joined the conversation
18:49:00 Red Alexander: Hello! What can I help you?
18:49:02 Visitors: Hello
18:49:21 Visitor: Are there branches of your company in Khabarovsk?
18:49:43 Red Alexander: No.
18:49:51 Visitor: What if I find?

xxx: do you remember the movie "The Mist"? Now, it seems to have become a reality. The difference is that now the turf will run out of the forest and will avenge the people 8 (

Next autumn, the issue of continuing production of coins worth less than two rubles will be brought for discussion in the lower house of parliament.

xxx: Oh, now we will have a currency called "double ruble". And instead of a new thousand will have to issue "five hundred two rubles"

In the morning, one of the employees of the company brought a box of candy (dr. There is no air conditioning or ventilator in the office. The box was on the table for about two hours. We decided to open it - the picture is terrible. When the director arrived, he saw the following: three employees sitting at the table, drinking tea, and eating candy LOTS from the box.)))

How are the shells?
See also: norm
Q: What did you get there for the devil? and normal?
I do not drink anymore.

I am not looking for easy ways!
Do you treat your teeth with a proctologist?