bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115693
 05.07.2015
When you buckle with a robot you can not run for the second bottle, you can just pour out of the robot what he drank. Or leave it for tomorrow. Then there should be a refrigerator in his stomach, and he should not snack.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №115692
 05.07.2015
An annotation in the newspaper on Batman's Return 1992:
The ugly puppy, raised by the sewer penguins, came into the world with a finished puppy, and the Cat Woman, after falling from the window, also stumbled. Batman will have to sweat to strike this beast.

I was broken!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115691
 05.07.2015
Washing the windows
The fucking pigeon.
struck in the window.
And spoiled him. The cock.
See also: Hockey You are romantic as I look.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115690
 05.07.2015
This is not so! )

Peter is such a cultural city that even the phrase “I walked the Big and the Small yesterday” makes quite a decent sense.


How are the inhabitants of Vasilyevsky Island different from the inhabitants of the Petrograd side?
- The fact that the inhabitants of Vasilyevsky Island walk not only in the Big and the Small, but also in the Middle!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115689
 05.07.2015
Yesterday I stood like a fool for three hours. No one has ever come.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115688
 05.07.2015
"Sanna, do you know what a tampaks is? Explain, or she’s chasing some purge!” said the red and wet man. " I know This is a great thing, Sanya rejoiced. Have you seen the wings advertisement? In the army, so that the legs are drier, you put under the pads..."
It is ===
The boys! Instead of going to the supermarket to see the range to understand,
That Tampax as a sticker does not work, except to scratch it.
The wings they found on the tampaks, the Itits force.
I see a line of soldiers in the pharmacy for hygiene products.
Put your knowledge in your ass.
I knew a young man who knew about women's affairs only from advertising, so he sincerely believed that girls had a blue fluid on the pads, as shown on television.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115687
 05.07.2015
It is terrible to imagine what wonderful types will fill the world of online games, when the psychiatric clinics will finally conduct the internet. Although, judging by some characters from our guild, it has long been held there.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №115686
 05.07.2015
Dear young people, it is exactly the same for you.
And if the lack of touch after the glass suddenly started to smile to you

So I see: a date, a bottle of wine, candles. Drinking a couple of glasses, her eyes glittered, she gently embraces. And here I am: you look at yourself, you are drunk, you are then, you may regret in the morning, and suddenly you will not like it and you will write a statement. And let us call the notary, let him assure you that you are in a sober mind and good health.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115685
 05.07.2015
It appears that either they were very few, or they all found each other.
But the fans are worried)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115684
 05.07.2015
After that, the communication with me was stopped because I don’t know elementary and I don’t watch TV.

--------
Man, you are very lucky! Imagine you would find out this when the banquet room is already ordered.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115683
 05.07.2015
On a trip to Efremov, there were three weekends and nothing to do. They found a roof from which there was a wonderful view.
When fifteen sober people came to the house with a roof, a aunt came out of the window and began to scream that you are breaking flowers and in general. Under the window, shells grew to human height, and it was impossible to break them without a tail. How could they reassured, promising to guard the plantations, not to watch the moon for a long time and not to noise. And we did not joke. The moon was so big and beautiful that everyone sat down and kept silent. The silence was broken by a voice:
and E! by Fuck! You are! Go down naked!
From the house opposite separated a restless body:
- Come down yourself, or I'll get up and take your pudding puddle off!
From the "Pidary’s Hood" we have come back to life. But they did not answer. His body stumbled ten meters away and cried out insults. A lady joined him. He called her "zaey". Zia shouted "Can you?" We said, of course. Zai's wife didn't like it and he still crossed the road and approached our house, still threatening to go down and throw it away.
Afterwards, when they came down, he fired a cigarette and tried everything - why? Why did we use there? He was told something about the sight and the moon, he was confused.
So tell me – what? How is this moon, he touched it with his finger, different from that moon? He pointed to the roof. We were silent.
How is it different from any other moon?! to
There was no answer.
When they left, they saw him climbing onto the roof. He sincerely wanted to understand...

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115682
 04.07.2015
Would you give your daughter two children?
– – – – –
And why not give (if it is absolutely necessary to give) to people who are guaranteed not to be interested in her sexually and generally in the people are considered bearers of more female traits than heterosexual men?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115681
 04.07.2015
Specifically, this dog is a shutter of light. Today I go down, I thought Glucky :shock: the dog is pink standing. And this, as it turned out, the fool opened the container with spice and broke off in full :D, terribly regret that she did not shoot, because she ran to wash it, was late to work.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115680
 04.07.2015
My favorite single father. My favorite game is Elder Scrolls. They play there in hiding with the daughter, she dresses the characters. They tried to involve me, gave me my own elf, equipped me. I am polished and honestly try, but with this mouse is harder to control than the mechanics to drive, and it is boring for me, boring.
The naive child agreed that it would be very cool to dress her real Barbie. And now I can normally play with this child in dolls, like my grandmother played with me. We finish the armor, we will turn the cat-mode into a cage. But part of me feels like a deceitful evil maid who deceived a confident little boy.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №115679
 04.07.2015
Bustly! How did the meetings go?
We are very worried!
Write down what happened in China City and Disappeared!

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115678
 04.07.2015
I met a girl on a dating site. We talked for a few days until we talked about food in the shops.

Y: So they sell everything with chemistry. Foods, including bread and meat, are roasted with chemicals, soybeans, water
X Why?
Y: Because of money. Everyone knows this.
X: It would be surprising if foods were without water. I do not eat sublimated food.
Y: And U.S. products are generally contraindicated, but many eat
X: Fuck, did you review the first channel with Malakhov and RN-TV?
Fuck, eat what you want.
X: Well, meat from this is not harmful. It does not break from water.
Y: Everyone has his own. People are dead like flies, think why. I often go on TV and watch TV. Listen to what we eat.
X is her. I don’t want to see what is shown on TV. There are asphalt proteins and water atoms.
Y: And in the meat of the shale there is dog, cat and human sweet meat and full of liquid and chemistry.
X: And I’m swallowing the swallow myself.
Y: You eat and eat. I don’t care what you eat and drink. You are not my father and I am not going to live your life with you.

After that, the communication with me was stopped because I don’t know elementary and I don’t watch TV.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115677
 04.07.2015
This is so fairy, I apologize for the long quote.
— — — —
The Court of Small Claims of Tveria (Israel) has considered the case of an 80-year-old resident of the city, who filed a complaint against his 48-year-old fellow resident for not fulfilling the terms of the agreement on joint residence for money and gifts.
The widow who filed the lawsuit demanded compensation of 15 thousand shekels.
Having met a woman he liked, the plaintiff signed an agreement with her, according to which he would make her gifts and pay in cash, for which she would maintain a relationship with him.
The applicant claimed that he fulfilled all the conditions of the agreement:
However, the woman did not fulfill her obligation. According to the plaintiff, instead of a little happiness he received hell, anger and devil’s reproach.
The woman stated in her excuse that she thought he needed it only for friendly conversations, and not for intimate relationships at all, and that the man was constantly chasing her.
The Court found the conclusion of such an agreement illegal. However, in this case, the woman knew in advance that she would not comply with the terms of this contract and signed it for profitable purposes.
At the same time, the court decided not to award the payment of the entire amount, as there were several intimate meetings, but to limit 5000 shekels to the plaintiff and 750 shekels to the payment of court costs.


[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115676
 04.07.2015
In fact, kissing on the street (not just ticking, and just sucking in the gums) is elementarly inappropriate, and even more to kick your ass / chest. It just behaves like that.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №115675
 04.07.2015
[6:40] MORGAN: The Hunting of Dota!!! I have never been interested in this shit, the urine hit my head - I decided to download... Nahera I did it???!!!! The fourth hour has passed, for the blue grandmother with onions (Ranger type) I already loved, I want to eat, I want to sleep, but I can’t go away, I accompany people to the tavern with high-speed slides... Then I am really accompanied. How did I learn all these incomprehensible words if it’s just four hours of play!!!??? What a fucking thing is happening! I tried to remove it, but my hand did not rise. Somebody is!! Save me!! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №115674
 04.07.2015
The feeling when your interlocutor is too stupid to understand your trolling.
That feeling when your interlocutor is too stupid to notice your indifference to trolling and thinks you didn’t understand his trolling.

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