bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №51212
 03.08.2011
My daughter and her husband went by car to the sea. I asked to send SMS and so on:

Dad beat the rabbit.

In 20 minutes:

They ate shakes.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №51211
 03.08.2011
XXX: Katya goes away from here!

I am not Katya, I am Valya!

XXX: Walk out of here!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №51210
 03.08.2011
I wrote an important name in the mail instead of a STUBB. Shobla) I was deprived of the quarterly prize)yes and her with him,so the whole office was lying

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №51209
 03.08.2011
Losing the desire for knowledge also loses the mind.

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51208
 03.08.2011
Those who do not tolerate the matts, please get stuck and lick. However, I left them only where I can’t do it – there is something like that.

In 92, we put the first screw on both weak compasses of our laboratory. Liquid nitrogen at that time covered the copper basin together with the components, expensive equipment got up - it was time to engage in purely literary work, that is, to write disserts. Specifically, we stumbled to fit the over-line and sub-line indexes in all kinds of formulas, and in the word they were, here we put it. They mastered races by sharing their discoveries with colleagues. One of the features, global replacement, is still uninteresting to most users.
But try to manually clear from random double gaps, double points, gaps before points and other shit a three-hundred-page monograph! Now it took seconds – we replace, for example, a double gap with a single across the text, then quickly press that button several times in a row until the word tells you that there is nothing more to replace.
Further, we scroll manually to identify males who still do not know the Tab button and place multiple gaps on the eye instead.

For the first time, the postgraduate student Valera found this discovery and decided to share it with comrades in a vivid mnemonic form. The natural victim of a graduate student
Borya was dull and burdensome, he did not want to jump to the toilet on the fourth floor, but instead walked relentlessly to the other end of the long building on the first, and then smoked for a long time on the wing. Both windshields were scheduled for hours and minutes. Waiting when
Bore will finally fall asleep to the toilet, and then count on the 10-30 minutes that fell on you, depending on the pace of its advancement - many irritated. Valer's postgraduate student perfectly settled in five - he replaced the entire text of the borin dissertation, sealed with a gap on "fuck," a point on another fig, multiple spaces-points and other typical prints - with a dozen more colorful expressions. The whole text was immediately transformed. In it appeared a refrain after each square clamp with a point, completing information about the work of another author. Now each of these references was accompanied by a boring but persistent comment: “H, with all respect for the authors of this work, I believe that their results are also embarrassing...”

But the main thing wasn’t even in this mechanical replacement – Borina’s phrase finally got a breath. Like every experimentator facing real life in the form of broken glands, Bora was a little speech. He was expressed only in cases when something did not work out again, or even worse, it did. But only of such moments and should consist of the text of any good dissertation. It is not surprising that Boria gave birth to his text hard and hit his throat at the same time. His censored dry text made a strange impression on colleagues who knew Bora in life. Even the prints he made sensual – after the conclusions, for him the most exciting. With punctuation he was not at all in order, as I did myself, but if Boria put his hand for diversity, then it meant something. The double gap served as a dramatic break. Five minutes of work – and the entire text of the dissertation played in colors:

“The method proposed by the author of this work, fucking, provides a full match of experimental and theoretical data, fucking! The fucking horse. I finally managed to prove, fucking...” – and so on, half a hundred pages.

We read this out loudly selectively, starting with the conclusions of the work. By the time Boris returned from the toilet, the entire laboratory was sitting on its chairs no longer. Bora looked at his text, overthrew some insult, corrected it, corrected it again, looked long and thoughtfully at the whole, then began to list his many years of work to the end, dark in his eyes. He could be understood. The very concept of global replacement until this morning was unknown to any of the attendees. Purely rewriting the fresh edition of the entire dissertation from the first to the last page during the boring stay in the toilet, and even so juicy, seemed completely unthinkable. The sinking Bora complained, “Boys, I think I have a virus...”

We came to help him and quickly found out that this virus reacted just like the most malicious mother-in-law – the files of other users were not affected. “Yes, I’m only verbally!” borya whispered and stood on us suspiciously. But after all, it was a famous mysterious wire, and advanced articles on oral speech recognition were in fashion at the time.

Backup, of course, we restored him, but some paddle managed to get into the process of a couple of parameters of auto replacement. Now, when Bora was especially anxious about his conclusions and began to make the usual prints for himself, a line itself popped out in the text: "Oh,
Bore to Bore. You can't even mindfully mate!"I don't know how much it worked, but he periodically regretted the backspace and didn't speak out until the evening at all. However, Boria easily compensated for this in just a few minutes, when we regretted and explained to him the meaning of these useful operations.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №51207
 03.08.2011
In order to be happy in Russia, you need to steal money, open your business, overcome all bureaucratic barriers, give a bunch of bribery, show unusual character, have connections, preferably in the criminal world, to be able to eliminate competitors, and work, work like a wolf.

Another option: take two liters of vodka and go fishing.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51206
 03.08.2011
Logan84: It's not all that life is fucking
Lobzik84: When your girlfriend is broken

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №51205
 03.08.2011
The older daughter (5 years) comforts the younger (3 years): Nothing, you will live until the wedding!

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №51204
 03.08.2011
xxx: I remember after a telephone conversation with one of my ex, agreed to meet her, and she said that she would come with a girlfriend.
YYY: YYYYYY
xxx: well, sheak, wrote a text message to a friend of type: Serega, come to help me with two bodies I can't handle and sent her...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYYYYYYYY
xxx: then typically apologizing wrote her: rabbit, forgive me, I love you and sent a friend *facepalm
by :DDD

[ + 67 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51203
 03.08.2011
Continuation of the previous post:

A friend's neighbors went on holiday on Sunday, gave him the key to the cat's apartment to feed and drink. Before leaving, we walked together in the apartment of the same neighbors. Yesterday I came to work, found that the key was lost, and the cat needs to be fed. Neighbors gave him a photo of the key. He went to ask for the key to the photo, he was refused in two places. Then he asked for the preparations, and I collected the pills myself. Well, over it, we stumbled at the workshop, like a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I bought two nuts, well, I drank in 40 minutes, got it from the fourth time!!!! The cat rescued, drank water at once and a half bowl, eaten to the outflow))

Z is. In the end, it turned out that the key was somehow the owner and he did not lose it.)


[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51202
 03.08.2011
In Gomel on the Day of the desantists declared a day of sobriety and the fountains are turned off

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №51201
 03.08.2011
xxx: I need an employee in TP
YYY: Can I just ask? Who is an Enigma?
xxx: The person who comes to the exhausting whisper that nothing works, looks at the inscription "Press any key to continue", ticks this most terrible button, which is nowhere and leaves happy :)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №51200
 03.08.2011
I'm not going to say it to him, it's pretty.
Do the princesses not cuddle?It is :)
Oh no, why not. Kakaoui
Oh, but don’t fuck it!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №51199
 03.08.2011
One day my mother bought such metal sticks (to look for water) and brought them to the country. The water pipeline was found.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51198
 03.08.2011
XXX: I downloaded WOW, I’ll put it. There are a few questions. Are there free servers, which servers should be used, are there Russian-language resources?
YYY: We will remember you for a while.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51197
 03.08.2011
by Darya:
In the morning, I think I should wear jeans. I found my favorite black pants and I think that’s a fool, why didn’t I wear them? Dress up, went to work, I get up with a Tula man after me so intrusively goes, catches up and says "Girl, your pants broke up on pop", I'm him "what for a cheap divorce, stop joking so", and he fingers and straight into the hole, I'm like jumping up, lapp-lap himself-just a hole :)Which as came to work, a little stumbled, but if you sit down they will immediately break up, so before you sit you have to scatter them, here and I sit so with a half naked ass and in the headphones :)

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51196
 03.08.2011
xxx: Senior investigator of the first department for the investigation of important cases (on crimes against personality and public security) of the Investigative Department of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation for the Rostov region – investigator of the Investigative Group of the Main Investigative Department of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation for the North Caucasus District, Lieutenant Colonel of Justice
Polish p.
XXX: The position of a man
This is a letter, and this is a hat in the letter.
yyy: Vadim and I came to the conclusion that his most unlikely question was: "Who are you working for?".

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51195
 03.08.2011
lopata67: now it's easier to find wai-fa in summer than a normal sneaker (

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51194
 03.08.2011
Willy 2:35
I want to write a blog about crabs.

Willy 2:36
First go to Wikipedia. Find out what a crush is :)

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №51193
 03.08.2011
xxx: Add win zzzzzz you are looking for there
YYY: Go fast, you were waiting there.

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