bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №17354
 18.06.2009
It's normal when the surgeon's cell phone calls a song:

Brick Brick Brick
Get ready
Brick Brick Brick
Who is new
O_O

[ + 72 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17353
 18.06.2009
Disputes about motorists and pedestrians.
When I was 10 years old, I was hit by a car when I switched to the green light. Broken bones, broken skin, moral trauma for a lifetime.
After 2 years, the car pushed when it crossed the zebra (a sphestofor in the radius of a kilometer, unfortunately, was not observed). The driver then stepped up and fooled me. I have been treating my broken arm for two months.

Pedestrians are defenseless. Most of them are not going to fall under the wheels of the car. Car drivers have under themselves an iron beast, which can easily kill a pedestrian. Just do not wear when in front of the zebra, sphatofor or the "children" icon. And in general, there are limits in the city that you all exceed.
Remember that someone else’s life may be in your hands.

[ + 104 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17352
 18.06.2009
If the packaging of cheeses was not 110 mm in diameter, but 120 mm, there would be an elegant box under the CD.

[ + 37 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17351
 18.06.2009
To quote that there are no normal men and they are all occupied with volves and Linuxs.

I went out for lunch today to buy fruit.
It was a terrible rain and I couldn’t handle my umbrella. The classic situation - in one hand a bag, in the other zone and a fruit bag breaks, everything falls on the asphalt!
A bunch of people walk by, for all this I work in the center of Moscow, where educated and cultural people work, and no one has stopped or helped.
And only two young people stopped, helped me and led me to the office!
There are normal men and they are there!
Guys from "Element Leasing", thank you!

p.s Publish, plz, people will be pleased!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №17350
 18.06.2009
Those who value you can blackmail you.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №17349
 18.06.2009
The son (4.5 years old), standing on the balcony and looking away, noticed thoughtfully:
“Yes, you have a beautiful planet.”

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17348
 18.06.2009
One Arab oil sheik urgently needed a blood transfusion.
Sheik has a very rare blood type and was found in only one Jew. that
He agreed, they made a transfusion, for which the Arab gave the Jew a house and a car.
A year later the same story - urgent need of blood. Jews are happy to run.
A blood transfusion facility for which an Arab Sheikh gives a box to a Jew
and cookies.
The Jew is surprised:
But last time you gave me a house and a car!
and Arabic:
There was no Jewish blood in me.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №17347
 18.06.2009
Student (11:09:26 15/06/2009)
Hi to

Yeshua (11:10:19 15/06/2009)
Gary

Student (11:10:29 15/06/2009)
We haven’t seen each other for a long time, so we’ll have a beer tomorrow.

Yeshua (11:11:40 15/06/2009)
Not cold, sorry, I serve in the army ( 23 days left)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №17346
 18.06.2009
Someone once wrote that the ability to mother comes together with the ability to drive a car... I know nothing, I learned yesterday... It came instead of the ability to drive...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №17345
 18.06.2009
Correspondence in contact
She: Do you have any plans for me?
Let’s meet, fuck and send...
She: Well then until tomorrow!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №17344
 18.06.2009
In the Russian Armed Forces as a result of crimes and incidents that occurred during service, in May died 10 people less than in April, reports the site of the Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation.

According to the Defense Ministry, 27 soldiers were killed in May. Almost half of all deaths (14) are committed by suicide. 12 soldiers died as a result of accidents. Another one died in the accident.

Compared to April, the number of suicides in the Russian army decreased - then 20 people committed suicide. The number of deaths due to accidents and accidents remained unchanged. In total, 37 people were killed in the army in April.

Since the beginning of the year, non-combat casualties in the Armed Forces amounted to 158 people. 83 of them committed suicide.

In 2008, 471 people died as a result of various accidents. Nearly half of all deaths (231) were committed by suicide.

-----------

It is said as it should be. What are the questions about why people do not want to go there? Why can’t they understand that something needs to be changed when people are stupid in the barracks? Bring it to the top - maybe you will see who of the lawmakers...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №17343
 18.06.2009
Fuck, well, people and problems: "the plasma panel in the elevator does not wet"...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №17342
 18.06.2009
from JJ:

We sit in the garden, and Olya tells a story. They were given 300 volts overnight in three quarters. Whoever worked, was burned. But a woman named Lena awoke at the same time and apparently went to the toilet. Turn on the light in the room. The lamp is lighted by a strange white light and is blown up. “Oh,” Lena thinks and turns on the light in another room. The lamp does – thistle. Lena continues to experiment. It includes a torcher. It is exploding. Lena in Aachen. She doesn’t understand whether she’s sleeping or not, and in horror turns on the TV. He makes a strange sound and explodes. It goes to the microwave and burns. In the morning, Lena almost went crazy and thought of herself somewhere as King Midas, that is, what she does not touch, it explodes. So she moved all the electrical appliances home.

The continuation of history is like this. There is an LG warranty workshop in these three quarters. Since it is Odessa, the master makes the neighbors, in principle, everything they bring. And the Chinese toy horse, and the ancient Soviet vacuum cleaner. There are many neighbors. And then in the morning, Lena wakes up and doesn’t go out. Three quarters of people came out with dead microwaves. Slowly moving along the boulevard. As we know, at the workshop. Lena does not know that. The street looks like a fantasy film or a zombie movie, but the zombies were all with their stoves on their stretched hands. I haven’t been told anything more about Lena, but I’m afraid for her.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №17341
 18.06.2009
Interestingly, do many people know what Trotsky was doing specifically, besides that he was puzzling?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №17340
 18.06.2009
How would Apple name its vacuum cleaner? and iSuck?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №17339
 17.06.2009
GenieW43
in Spanish "virginity" - virginidad
GenieW43
It sounds like the name of the city.
GenieW43
Good traveler enter the glorious city of Virginidad - you will not believe your eyes!
The adventure of the cascade awaits you. Are you ready? Open up, Cézanne
Jane Doe
and ROFL
GenieW43
be wicked and cruel,
A beautiful east.
Pull up your cloth – and go ahead! xd

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №17338
 17.06.2009
I am jealous of my boyfriend for his breasty elephant from the line...he is fucking fucking with her...

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №17337
 17.06.2009
Did you fuck Masha, without a rubber and ended up in her?! to
Well, by itself, yes
-That is, of all the methods of contraception in the 21st century, you decided to use:"Pray grandmother,Pray grandfather,I don't want children yet!"?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №17336
 17.06.2009
Putin on television about Belarus: "Whoever calls himself so is called."
The bed

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №17335
 17.06.2009
I decided today on a friend of the EEG in physics. Literally (I can show the photo):

A10: The temperature of the iron piece weighing 200g decreased from 70' to 50'. How much heat has the particle given?"

Answers: a)256J; b)2.56kJ; c)128J; g)1.28kJ

Solution: energy = mass * heat capacity (table data) * change of temperature =
0.2*460*(70-50)=1840 J 0_o

Well, I think it's okay, in the table of Egeshna, I went to Wikipedia, there is a heat capacity of iron 450 (i.e. Reply to 1800

Now I understand why of the 750,000 graduates on 100 points write about 100: little that you need to know the subject, you still need to guess what answer 'true' (:

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