bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №17113
 08.06.2009
Did you know that if the smiley """ distinguishes a two-point, it will be a ninja turtle?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №17112
 08.06.2009
I got up at five in the morning to repeat the exam. In aska, he writes a predicate, which in 4 hours to give an ex.
Good morning, why am I not asleep?
I: Hi, yes, I decided to repeat the lecture before your exam.
P: This is the pace you will learn until Monday.
I: Alexey Mikhailovalch, as you will tell you, we don’t have the exam on Monday, but today, at 9 a.m., to be precise.
Is it sixth today?
A: Fuck it
Q: What a fool put on Saturday
If I wake up, I will come.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №17111
 08.06.2009
I went to the clinic today. Guess to whom:

by Зав. The House of M.D.

I said straight slowly, “Hello Gregory,” he said, “Your house is shit, and his name is Michael.”

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №17110
 08.06.2009
Examination of mathematical analysis.
The Teacher:
What would you do if I asked you to calculate the amount?
The student:
I will hang myself!
The Teacher:
Okay, he doesn’t get along.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №17109
 08.06.2009
A. N My boss is 53 years old.

A. NOhhhhhhhhhh!by 11
Tagged with: o_o
A. NOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! to
I am... already.
A. N A prize for you!!! to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №17108
 08.06.2009
What about Max? When will he return from the army?
When was he in the army? O_O
I saw in his photo where he was in shape.
WOW: Well and what? I was photographed in a musketer costume as a child, I am not a boyar!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №17107
 08.06.2009
One day I walk in the street, a girl in front of me on the cell phone says:
"Listen, you’re talking to me that way??? We slept with you, why are you talking to me??"
In a few seconds:
"A... well yes, we slept..."

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №17106
 08.06.2009
Yesterday I listen to the weather forecast on the radio (city).The dictator lists the cities, calls the temperature-I miss everything by the ears,because I am interested in the weather only in St. Petersburg...And here I waited-in St. Petersburg the weather is the same as in Vladivostok...."Well, isn’t it?? to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №17105
 08.06.2009
The head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs wants to get rid of anonymity on the Internet
Nooze: In turn, now the anonymous on the Internet want to get rid of the head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №17104
 08.06.2009
by Kotya:
You are where?? to
and ZXC:
I have a shit with the moustaches.
by Kotya:
Your revelations, Alexander, scare me.
and ZXC:
I cut off when I shaved.

[ + 90 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17103
 08.06.2009
About pedestrians and drivers:

In order to drive, it is necessary to have the rights and KNOW the PD (ideally, of course - exclude unicoms, who buy the rights and chase the streets, without even suspecting that there are rules). However, pedestrians are not required to know the PDD, and in some situations they begin to water drivers passing through the pedestrian crossing on a green light for pedestrians. They, unhappy, do not even realize that if the car is stuck in the center of the crossroads, missing the opposing cars, it must STOP the maneuver, even if it is already on the red light. And pedestrians, seeing the green for themselves, immediately break on the road (and sometimes without waiting), thereby creating emergency-dangerous situations, not missing the "later" cars.

Bring it to the best plz, maybe at least someone’s brains will add...

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №17102
 08.06.2009
Plague rappers glorify the lives of snoopers, prostitutes and ordinary members of street gangs. At the same time, they are convincingly asking to buy their albums exclusively legally.

by Kudos R/L

[ + 83 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17101
 08.06.2009
The penetrating voice in the television broadcasts with sadness and anxiety:
In Russia, two washing machines are broken every day. More than a million washing machines die each year.
Question: How many days in the year?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №17100
 08.06.2009
People, like dogs, are angry at the driver, not the owner.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №17099
 08.06.2009
I don't know how in other cities, but in our some time ago authorities
The law prohibits the sale of strong alcohol after 20:00 and before.
Eight in the morning.
The time is almost eight in the evening, in the supermarket at the box office.
Exactly at 20:00 the box will automatically stop drilling vodka.
A heartbreaking cashier who does not want a people’s rebellion:
- Who with vodka - pass without a line!
Nothing changed in the turn. It was all with vodka. gathered at
The fact is that we first all beat only vodka, handed over to the storage chamber, and
Let’s go back to the rest once again. In the neighborhood, people did so.
Yes is.
The storage camera in this store is not the usual iron boxes.
with keys, and a shelf with a grandmother, exchanging things for numbers and
and back. The closet with the shelves behind the back of the grandmother after the people
I rushed to take vodka there, it looked like some kind of window window.
The water shop of the stagnant era.
Two working men enter the store. Going past the camera
storage, they see this vodka abundance and three men in line to
The grandmother. Accepting the rack for the vodka department, the men are arranged in
Watch people exchange cards in front of them.
The vodka.
One man to another:
Look at me, this is a shit!! Drinking Vodka After Eight
They didn’t buy it, they already put in the bills!!! People who have talons
Take it? How many bottles are delivered?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №17098
 08.06.2009
What needs to be changed in order for Russian cars to meet international standards?
The world standards.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №17097
 08.06.2009
From the Women’s Forum:

My loved one stated that he really wants some impressive or shocking gift.Girls from Moscow, if someone has a positive pregnancy test on these weekends - sign up in the box.I will come to any area, I will take. for a reward.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №17096
 08.06.2009
What fucking fucking people!! to
On wm some kind of shit threw me 10k wmz c protection code for 2 days... almost the eye didn’t fall when I saw it.
With your signature you’ll guess them. :)
I’ve been sitting all night... now I’m sitting at work with red eyes. The fuck is simple!


[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №17095
 08.06.2009
By the way, vampires and architectural students have a lot in common... We don’t sleep at night, ordinary people crack at us, our eyes are always red and when we see dawn we think “Well, fuck!”and "

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №17094
 08.06.2009
I remember reading with my brother when they were kids. Slowed the dog (binded to the hose) and ran around the apartment from it))) But then a neighbor came from the bottom floor and put a ban on our game... =(

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