bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74434
 17.12.2012
Wonderful listened dialogue (we have breakfast at the restaurant at the hotel, and the wedding from the evening is still on the go, all warm at the very least can not):
- Oooo, I was in Chelyabinsk... Surrov city, there are 90s not over... there are still bandits living there. They will be killed and the name will not be asked.
How in Costa Rica?
In Costa Rica they ask...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74433
 17.12.2012
xxx: I am happy - I finally got a great repair in the service :)))
yyy: and the nafiga you in the winter is great, in such a cold even in the car is cold?
xxx: you have -30, we have +25
YYYYYYYYYYYY Fuck...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74432
 17.12.2012
Commentary on the distribution of a low-budget film:

The movie was watched in one breath in 15 minutes.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74431
 17.12.2012
xxx: all of us guys want one
YYY: What is it?
XXX is good fuck.
xxx: more true of understanding, mutuality and inner warmth.: *


[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №74430
 17.12.2012
On November 30, 2000, "Sergeant Fletcher" called the manager of "McDonald's" from another Kentucky town of Letchfield: allegedly at the moment in her restaurant is a dangerous sexual offender. Police need to be arrested at the time of the sexual assault. The manager has to help the authorities and act as a “manicure.” The “Policeman” ordered her to show all kinds of female signs of attention to a lonely man aged 35-40, and then lure him into the office, shut up and dress off. At this point, the substrate will be covered. There was a lonely man by the window. Not deprived of the female merits, the manager began to cuddle with the visitor. Word for word – and he was in her office. Then followed a flash striptease, a scene of seduction and... accidental sex. The manager was too interested in the role. There was no rush, and satisfied with such a high quality of service at “McDonald’s” the “sex-maniac” went on.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74429
 17.12.2012
XXX: Do not do anything, do it yourself
There is nothing to do, do love!
In my case it’s the same :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74428
 17.12.2012
Conversation in the kitchen

As we earned, so we eat!
The mouth?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №74427
 17.12.2012
The husband told: bought for work a zephyr, a New Year's package, inside - a paper angel. To do this, you need to curl the paper and put a thread in the holes. So the manufacturers managed to describe this simple process as follows: "turn the penny and insert the gap into the gap" O_O the boss was also upset, saying that no lesbian was able to insert the gap into the gap :D

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74426
 17.12.2012
What is your dog’s name?
and Jack.
Jack the Sparrow? and :)
Jack the Taxi.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74425
 17.12.2012
I’m so sociopathic that I don’t know what to talk about with my imaginary friend.

[ + 21 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74424
 17.12.2012
Freezing 45 degrees
In the construction shop

Right in front of me, the family, two children of 8 years old, daddy with mom and grandmother, came for the irrigation tube!!! to

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74423
 17.12.2012
Dmitry Botzman: I have seen a lot in my life, but to smoke the calyan with a vacuum cleaner...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74422
 17.12.2012
From Google Play:
The game would be really great if it wasn’t one but. THIS DUMBLE PROMOTION ROLL, PICKING ON EVERY FIVE STARDS, BLJAD, I already realized that the Dreamer would soon be in all the cinemas. And the last hundred and twenty times I also understood that. And I’ve already looked at these rosies so much that I’m already tired of them, and I’ll probably go to the cinema now to see them again. Here is! The game is hard, yes. Just as long as I’m watching this video every two minutes, I’m not going to put the top three.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74421
 16.12.2012
Ask the Russians:

What three things would you take with you to the end of the universe?

A magic stick, a goldfish and a lamp with gin!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74420
 16.12.2012
From the midori-ko:

Should I take something with me?
The brain. I will be very grateful.
Do you know that if I take it, nothing interesting will happen?

Imagine two solipsists sitting there.
This is another question. The solitaire is always sitting alone.

Another good question is whether there is a God.
We were going out in seven minutes.
Do you think we can’t solve this question in seven minutes?

I would have taken a chicken someday. of parenting.
I would be a pigeon.
The pigeon must be able.
The chicken too.
What can we know here? He took the chicken, let it go, and said, “Hold on, chicken, let’s not eat it.”
Yes, it will be hard for the chicken in February with such a sentence.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74419
 16.12.2012
Who was joking about the film "2012" on the box 21.12.12. Get and sign up for STS.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74418
 16.12.2012
My dear, what will you give me for the end of the world?

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74417
 16.12.2012
Actor Gerard Depardieu has renounced his French citizenship.
The actor previously had problems with French legislation, both in tax matters, and in connection with drunk driving and fighting.

Artemis Pissarev: Let Russia go, here you can drive drunk and fight ))

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №74416
 16.12.2012
xxx: stumbled, moved to a rental apartment - from the dishes only one pot and two plates. In addition to the electric plate, the water boils for an eternity. I have to cook pasta, and I have to cook sausages. What would it be like to cook them so that they work at the same time as the pasta?
YYY: Did you not live in the community? After 5 minutes as the pasta is boiled, throw the sausage in the pot, and in another 5 minutes everything seems ready.
You are a genius!!! to

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74415
 16.12.2012
The contextual advertising:

of cement.
Buy cement for 19.00 UAH. Cement is your path to success.

Mistake the slogan :) And I thought what I missed for success :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna