bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84665
 25.07.2013
A photograph of a section of the highway somewhere in Los Angeles, made in several levels in the form of a huge violin key, the view from above is just delightful! The first comment

In South Butovo, there is the same concept, in order to be straight 10 meters from the point of departure, you need a kilometer to drive around the circle and be 10 meters from the departure to continue the way. Truth is not sure that from the height of bird flight it looks like a violin key, rather like the ass of an elephant still.
c) aselena

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №84664
 25.07.2013
Often turning your face to people does not allow your face.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №84663
 25.07.2013
The tail of a dog

Everyone has probably heard the anecdotes about chickens. And although few take them seriously, northern deer farmers are really very similar to the characters of these anecdotes, as naive and confident as children.
In the nineties there were difficult times for them. Colloquials began to collapse, products and goods to import almost stopped, no one began to hand over their products, mostly - deer and fish. Then they began to come regularly on deer stalls to the vault settlements, bringing for sale meat and fish, as well as sand skins. Chinese and Greek shubs have not yet filled the shelves, and flour was in great demand. With the money earned, the deer farmers bought flour-sugar and other products, gasoline, ammunition and, of course, vodka, which at the time was something like a local currency, it could be much to change for.
Most workers in the industry tried not to offend them, it is like offending a child, they still had a hard life. Rather, on the contrary, they brought them old clothes from the city, bought bags with candy in the store: "Take the kids." But in the family is not without shit. We have one as well.
One late evening, in the car, where this comrade and his neighbor lived, they knocked. He opened the door behind which stood a young elephant:
A shell of hope?
How many do you have?
I brought two.
I will take both. I give you two bottles of vodka.
The price was quite small, so we negotiated a little, but we still got together for two: - Okay, carry.
He brought two bottles of vodka: - Give your skins!
Wait, I will check it out.
What to check there? Here are the bottles, give the skins.
- My last time a bag of fish brought, you gave three bottles of vodka, in two water was found. I will check.
Okay, it wasn’t me, but someone else. This is a good vodka, look! Here’s a bit of a mess, so I’ll give you another one!
Well, only my own will check anyway.
He turned the block, smelled the bottle, then checked the second: - Take the skins.
A satisfied buyer entered the car and boasted to the neighbor: "Look, the sand skins have been broken, and just for two bottles!
Will you do them again? Let me look at the skin.
He took the skirts, shaken, led his hand over the snow-white fur. Then he turned his fur out, looked closely and suddenly began to sneeze. Thick wide paths with thick black threads to the skin of the white rabbit were sewn sand tails.

Mother of Siberia (c)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84662
 25.07.2013
When the guy stuck in the elevator, he immediately regretted a minute ago committed petty hooliganism.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84661
 25.07.2013
xxx: < story>
YYY: I thought this story would have a typical end. She sat next to me... two years later we got married.
xxx: There are no happy ends in my stories.
Zzz: Where did you see the happy end?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84660
 25.07.2013
I stand in a smoking room, a dialogue between smokers:
1) the first time saw the lightning at 300 meters hit the pillar, the lightning terrible ears laid, the lashes almost glued, well that in the car was riding
2) you have not heard the most important voice with the phrase 《tpfu, fucking missed》 maybe this is not the last time?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84659
 25.07.2013
The guy, preparing dinner, said thoughtfully:
My dear, we need to give birth to a child.
Why Why?
A lot of unused foods remain.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84658
 25.07.2013
YYY: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
XXX: 0_o
XXX: They decided to remove the hunters for guidance?!?!? to

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №84657
 25.07.2013
Wonderfully working Russian initiatives... I decided to sign under the initiative against the closure of sites.
After the 15 (!) minutes of war with registration (enter the numbers of RWDRNK, EPRVAOL, CRE and ESVAO... and your email is not that, and the password is more authentic, but here draw a giraffe...), finally done.
was charged.
I went to the link, I was logged out immediately.
Pressed the entrance. Writes "Your account type is not supported".
and closed.
Unfortunately, "My favourite site" could not help, sorry.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84656
 25.07.2013
by this:
This is:
________
I am alone angry when “smart advice” is posted on social media pages on behalf of Marilyn Monroe?
She, of course, is a sex symbol of her time and all that, but her biography at least one TP knows?
________
Well, apparently you are one of those TPs and it is because the actress was called Marilyn Monroe...
________
Let’s get a bit of divorce: her real name was Norma Jean Baker :))))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84655
 25.07.2013
From the discussion of the preparation of the field game about the Vikings

XXX: You can then be advanced by the yellow))
The Yellow?What is Hutora?
Then we will moisturize you with the funeral ceremony with honeymoon and blades.
And the boat...
D = D, I smoke
XXX: and then we'll burn you to the foxes

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84654
 25.07.2013
I walk down the square, far away from a tennis court. In it, as I see with my crazy sight, there is no one. I get closer and see people playing. The first thought: "Oh, the textures of people have loaded up!">_<

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84653
 25.07.2013
Egyptian security forces detained in the resort town of Sharm el-Sheikh on the Red Sea a citizen of Ukraine, who during the search was found "certificate of the Mohammad of Syria", as well as Egyptian and foreign military uniform, signs with the inscription "police", black flags with religious inscriptions.

The banderol policeman. Now also in Africa.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84652
 25.07.2013
I am - no / o
Lipka: this smiley was supposed to depict sad eyes with folded eyebrows
But not the Darth Vader :(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84651
 25.07.2013
A: Why do you have this?
bbb: As said one Uzbek, who invaded the army of Russian oral folklore and somewhat confused everything, excess h.. in the ass is not an obstacle!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №84650
 25.07.2013
The Federal Migration Service of the Russian Federation (FMS) issued a certificate to former US intelligence officer Edward Snowden that he can finally leave the transit zone of Moscow Sheremetyevo airport.

Comments: And this is far from the last reference, Edward!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84649
 25.07.2013
Discussions on the trailer of the new film with Jon Travolta
X: I haven’t seen Travolta for a long time. Probably the last time in a criminal case.
Just from the coma?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №84648
 25.07.2013
The youth of the 90s will understand. Included in the playlist of Chimer Arya, as much as tears wanted to let go, as long-distance drivers wanted to play.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84647
 24.07.2013
I watched you today, did not sleep and came to the first couple, strange.
Father is on a business trip tonight, he did not go to work to collect things. He pulled me out of bed with pins, made me dress and wash with pins, and you can say, he reached the universe.


[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84646
 24.07.2013
For every creature in a pair, a man is looking for a "second pilot with a pilot", which has common interests and values, which will always make up the company and help with valuable advice, and not the ideal consumer, which needs to make shoes to the bag fit.

Oh you. Pilots need pilots. You dig into the virgins like the old women in the tomatoes in the bazar.
Just like my parents. They saw each other and that’s all. As my mother told me, I always liked the tall dark-haired guys, and here... I didn’t notice anything, neither a small height, nor that red... And all my life together.
And you can even swell up, the chips are frozen.

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