bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140513
 14.04.2017
A woman who works at the factory came to us today. She had to solve two issues:
1st Find out if there is no programming vacancy for her son, who defends his diploma in the summer
2nd Wouldn't any of the programmers write a program for this son's diploma, or he can't.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140512
 14.04.2017
There is no day here, there is a circus. I burned a lamp in the toilet. When they will be replaced is unknown.

And now guess what the warehouse goes to the toilet as a lighthouse?

Fuck you guess!

Pabababababam, the drumming... with the cow!!!! to

with the lupus. with circular lighting. Okay it is. But the men are unhappy about this.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140511
 14.04.2017
xxx: Assess the degree of your boredom on a 10-point scale
Tagged with: 9,125

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140510
 14.04.2017
And yes, normal female clothes of small sizes exist. Even in the same teenage department, only for girls!

Pink color, with glitters or printable drawings? Wear it yourself.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140509
 14.04.2017
Anastasia: I generally like breakdowns.
Anastasia: but at the same time that the guy is smart
Are these features not contradictory to each other?
Anastasia: No, you can be a smart dealer.
Andrei: Do you know such people?
Anastasia: there was one brilliant example, it was recently removed

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140508
 14.04.2017
Recently opened in front of my house a new fitness club, well, I went to try, so to speak (I have a multi-subscription, I can go to any clubs of this network).

To get there, you have to go up to the third floor, and only the stairs. And here I go and immediately after me a man, frankly, not thin. It was light, that is, no bag, no bag, nothing. I thought I was going to buy an abbonement. My guess was confirmed, the phrase was epic:

Noah, you have to go up the stairs.

He turned and left.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140507
 14.04.2017
What kind of potato was it? Because for a bag of Lorch, grown on whole clay without nitrogen overfeeding, you can get married to himself, without his farmer. And the bag of the watery Meteor has not fallen for nothing, you just eat it, so that it does not ruin.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140506
 14.04.2017
In the evening, the cats were stuck on the blanket.
XXXX: 2 members
YYY: I would have spent after such a strict code-reju.
ZZZ: The Revival

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140505
 14.04.2017
I don’t like Logan at all. The price and characteristics of the norm
Logan is good. Do not even doubt.
I'll be hard, I'll feel insecure in such a car (
ууу: *showing photo of Chery QQ sedan* just you didn't ride a car, looks like a crashing cat)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140504
 14.04.2017
XXX: Is there anything? I’ll be back by the end of the week, I guarantee.
yyy: A guarantee without defining the responsibility of the parties is either a lie, an election campaign, or a constitution. Sorry for the tautology. and triple.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140503
 14.04.2017
I, the pigeon Pankraty, flying on April 12, 2017 over the building of the Municipal Administration of the city of XX, did not notice an unidentified white lethal object hanging in the sky. In this regard, I collided with this object, resulting in it apparently not having enough flight experience.

If there are representatives of the rock music of the 90s here, this is just a gift for you. With Mumiatrol intonations,
I am the pigeon of Pankrates.
I flew in April.
Over the city of Enski
I can't hear the hustle

Then do it yourself ;)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140502
 14.04.2017
Doctor, I feel like someone is running behind me all the time with a bag of potatoes. I don’t like cooking and I don’t want to get married. How do you tell him to retreat? and :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140501
 14.04.2017
I am engaged in air gymnastics - canvas (long fabric from ceiling to floor, in our hall 7 meters), next to two ladies are engaged in a ring, periodically de-fatizing the projectile with nearby vodka. I sit, resting near an improvised bar, a lady from the ring stood on the canvas high, remember, I watched her from below. Nearby, a local Petrosyan is drawn, looks around the painting, gives a joke:

Are you so drunk and lazy?

I look at him, the vodka, the girl on the canvas, I return to him:

Of course! Would you be able to run 7 meters without insurance? Do you know how scary?! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140500
 14.04.2017
A colleague serves cakes baked by a girl.
It says: "Eat carefully, they have a high content of desire to get married"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140499
 14.04.2017
When I was a kid, my mother sometimes instructed my father to pair the child’s legs if she had no time to deal with my treatment. He put the basin in the bath, poured a pot of boiling water, a couple of glasses of water from underneath the crane and went to the couch to read a book, sometimes looking through the open door. While he was going to the post, I quietly got out of the hot pelvis and stood next to me: I can’t see through the board. When his legs were frozen from the iron, he turned them into the water. And one day, my mom got through it... But before I got rid of it, she drove her hand into the water, changed her face and said three words to my dad: “Now you’re a pair... No more executions have happened.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140498
 14.04.2017
A homofob does not become a happy self-sufficient person, satisfied with his life. It doesn’t matter who you prefer to sleep with. A homophob is not an alpha male, not even a beta male. And, feeling some kind of vulnerability, he is looking for someone who is in the hierarchy of the cluster lower than he is, in order to dominate that someone, thereby compensating for his sense of inferiority. By the way, it may be caused by the fact that he suppresses his own homosexuality. “I am a normal full-fledged man, and not a gay there; it is an attempt to expose as a criterion of position in the hierarchy of the herd the usual quality of his person and to exalt him as dignity. I don't like cabbage, but shoot me if I begin to consider it my dignity and humiliate those who love them. If a man boasts that he is not gay, he has nothing to boast about.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140497
 14.04.2017
It is a pity when the factory pass stops you.

The guard, and asks, “Man, what is melting under your jacket?”

You have a buzz there...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140496
 14.04.2017
Let me start with what we have in our kids. A new teacher appeared in the garden, the impression which she produced this respect. It was immediately seen by her that the woman of the old hardening, who is feared and respected not only by children, but also by parents.
For us, the first bell ringed at the moment when I came to pick up the daughter she gladly did not run out to meet. I will not make a big retreat, she doesn't drink milk and can't tolerate bread with avidly. In those days when giving these products babysitters tried to replace it with compot or tea. So here is: the child is not, I go to the class, and she lets soppy on a glass of milk. In my questioning sight, she says, Oh, I forgot! Well we go home and the daughter says she made her drink milk and complains of stomach pain.
The next case was the most shocking. The child had a birthday and we collected sweets for her, assuming that each child will get four sweets plus the teachers. After work, I take the child and she tells everyone that this educator distributed one candy!!!! The next day I take my daughter and ask the teacher, what was it? She apparently did not expect such a turn of events, turned red, tried to justify herself. I just told her that it should be on your conscience.
It all ended with her being fired because she divided into two parts and gave half. The rest is natural.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №140495
 14.04.2017
It seems to me that the manufacturers are deceiving us, because the gel after shaving from the irritation of the niqab does not help, as everyone irritated me so and continue to irritate

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140494
 14.04.2017
From the discussion of the article "Soldiers" on Wikipedia:
Are the men unable to
of course. Together with the females, this is the whole meaning of the process.

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