bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115193
 23.06.2015
The art of diplomacy is to settle conflicts by promising to give back what is not regrettable, over an indefinite period of time.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115192
 23.06.2015
Speed of passing the exam:
I will not name the university, whoever learns, will remember.
The subject is the history of political and legal teachings.
As appropriate, I and most of the students did almost all the lectures and saw the lectures almost for the first time at the exam. He was surprised to see so many new faces. As usual, I was late for the exam. Located in the auditorium, and all places are occupied. All of. Anchorage in Kamchatka. Only a free party before the predecessor. He lovingly invites me so to sit in front of him, I understand that the transfer not only shines, but shines with all the flowers of the rainbow, but nothing to do, I sit down, I don't even think about the spores (Hudini and he would burn), well, the one who has studied, he will understand. And here the reader says: You are a lot, I am like a lazy to fill the notes, so we write ourselves in our notes.... and then he does the following - takes my notes (I remember, I am sitting right in front of him) and on my example says everything that needs to be written - the subject is like this, the reader is like this (and he writes all this in my notes) further, on the machine, puts an assessment and is written. For a few seconds he looked at what he did, then on me, then on the other students. After a few seconds of silence, the predecessor issued: the assessment is not necessary, I will put them myself, well, and you (in my sense) I congratulate you on passing the exam. He gave me a check, well, and I dropped it until he changed his mind. That’s how I passed the exam without taking a ticket and (most importantly!!!) Without saying a word. Fuck it!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115191
 23.06.2015
Eighteen is when everything is allowed by law, but my mother doesn’t.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115190
 23.06.2015
Alexander Zharov, head of Roskomnadzor, said:
"Responsible Internet users who do not seek access to prohibited information are reliably protected from it."

Pacient Zharov, it has always been so. Even advertising banners and emails did not change this schedule.

Take money from the budget quietly - no need for any indications and blockages.
No one needed you, and no one needed you.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115189
 23.06.2015
XX: Have you already decided which place will you move to?
YYY: as I look at neighboring entrances
XXX is harsh. Have you considered the apartment?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115188
 23.06.2015
XXX: I came to the house to cut the grass in the yard. The grass is high, the landscape is not visible. After five minutes of torture I came to the conclusion that the crows, apparently, on my site some historically important terrain, since they have arranged such large-scale excavations.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115187
 23.06.2015
From the chat:
XXXX: Hello to everyone, today took part in the car rally "Three-time driving". Is this happening in your cities?
YYYY: No
ZZZZ: I participate in this every day! Peter is okay with me!!!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115186
 23.06.2015
XXX flooded the apartment and mold grew at the plinth.

XX: I need to give a name to the mold
Call her quietly by name.
Drink her key water.
I have already drank (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115185
 23.06.2015
--------
But to the extreme comes infantility, when at the age of 25 a person's ass is wiped out.
What brings us back to the gender shit?
--------
The keyword is "extreme" right?
I just got the stories about how the mommy in the field gave birth to me and I immediately went". Not everyone has such dull situations that force children to grow like urticaria under the fence. To whisper that someone has never been in such a situation is at least strange.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115184
 23.06.2015
Summer and heat. I need to expand the menu.
Googled fruit soup. Fruit soup from flying mouse.
Why did I look at it?and (

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115183
 23.06.2015
The creator of the Internet encyclopedia Lurkmore froze the project

He was forced to flee abroad...

And that nirvana is not funny!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115182
 23.06.2015
tanyasha: yes, ask to restore all the bills for March 13th
Lav: Do we, according to the order, remove the bills, older than six months?
by Tanja: Yes
Lav: long-term storage pads sewn separately?
Aha : Aha :
Lav: before removing the "rust" go through two repeated checks to exclude errors of accidental getting into them long term?
Ugo : Ugo :
Low: Understood
Lav went to heat the time machine

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115181
 22.06.2015
Veverkajsem: Sometimes I feel a burning sense of powerlessness before human incompetence
Krieger: The job is what you want. Not the hardest and lowest paid.
Veverkajsem: Yesterday I explained the integral calculations for two hours.
veverkajsem: a person who is unfamiliar with differentials

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115180
 22.06.2015
I work in X-rays. In the morning, due to a strong jump in tension, the fluorograph broke. Electricity shutdowns are scheduled for 10 minutes. The boss, leaving, instructs "without a call from the electricians not to turn on anything. Or maybe they will not have time in 10 minutes, and we still have a lot of equipment that can be broken".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115179
 22.06.2015
The term "wife" was best described by my ex-husband when I came to visit him after the divorce and prepared a meal. It was taken from my mother before marriage.
He cried and said with a surprised face:
I didn’t do anything, but food came from somewhere.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115178
 22.06.2015
here here :

Even the most decent and educated girl with a vocabulary like Pushkin,

Pushkin, in fact, had very much censorship.

— — —
Appropriacy and education is not manifested in the knowledge/non-knowledge of mat and other obscenities, but in the restraint of their use on people.

"Everyone is scratching, but not everyone does it at all" (c)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115177
 22.06.2015
How do you describe a person who speaks in one phrase?by :

"... well I stand happy, I think the youth to the classics pulled, fucking there swam...."

Dissonance is complete.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115176
 22.06.2015
I am telling a colleague at work about the release of another “Terminator”.
Will Arnie play?
I: There will be both – old and young. I watched the trailer.
Will the young man play?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115175
 22.06.2015
"And you gave birth to Verka to get a three-room apartment!"©h/f "Little Faith"

Nothing personal, just a quote.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115174
 22.06.2015
XXX: I can accurately reproduce yesterday’s day in minutes, but what was half an hour ago is not available to me.
YYY: You will tell me tomorrow.

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