bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №67733
 30.07.2012
I went to the window today. The eye captured one curious action in the opposite window.

The man in the cowards comes in, approaches the wall and begins to tear the wallpaper. And all this under pleasant listening to French music from his own apartment.

This is the St. Petersburg repair.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №67732
 30.07.2012
A question on the forum of fans of aircraft simulators:
Can Simmer land a real plane?
The answer:
We drop on the plane, better 154 or 767, by the method of random selection on the forum, the crew is selected, everything is filmed on video + from the cockpit of the pilots + the decryption of the black boxes is downloaded here.
Well, of course, the cost of burial, living, 9 days, 40 days...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №67731
 30.07.2012
from ZH

The xxx:
I want to buy 3 hectares in the area, a dirty tractor and become a farmer. What are underwater rocks?

YYYY :
Of the disadvantages: it will have to be long and stubbornly forging in the shit for a penny. Farming is a difficult business. Better buy 50 acres and do not grow anything for sale.
You can fuck the pigs.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №67730
 30.07.2012
What is the difference in time with Finland?
40 years at least.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67729
 30.07.2012
A beautiful summer morning.
You are burning in hell.
The Screamers
In the neighboring kindergarten.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №67728
 30.07.2012
I sit at work, in the tc, rolling in ovi cards. Nocla asks to include the blues, I agree. The results of the search for BT are stunning. In order of decreasing adequacy: LG G200, dashboard:), who is the dad? and rabbit-pydoras o_o

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №67727
 30.07.2012
You are not lucky with men.

- well why))) not lucky current a couple of times) and in other cases successfully passed)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №67726
 30.07.2012
She: Don’t complain (as I saw immediately replied)
I:Dak to complain about you - that in the hole to curl: like and funny, but useless)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67725
 30.07.2012
We were sitting with Willy in the park today. The dialogue:
I’m going to see my uncle soon. He just has three sons!
I: The oldest was a smart child, the middle was and so and so, the younger was and so and so.
A: The youngest has recently got married!
I: Well, I am about the same!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №67724
 30.07.2012
I am a straight housewife: I can turn soup into flour, and vegetable roast into soup.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №67723
 30.07.2012
A lie can be forgiven, but never the truth.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №67722
 30.07.2012
Start a quarrel with your wife, think well - you in 10-15 minutes will get tired of quarrelling, and she - not!

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67721
 30.07.2012
I sit with a girlfriend in a nightclub. Appropriate promoters with cigarettes of one well-known brand and ask the standard question:
Are you smoking?
I also answer standard (to get rid of it faster):
and no. (I forgot that there is a cigarette in my hand.)
The disturbed look of the promoter and the masterpiece continuation:
Could you try?

[ + 38 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67720
 30.07.2012
In the summer I got a babysitter, I watch the child in the countryside house. The child has his own room, swimming pool. Three bicycles. There are three options for breakfast. I visited more countries in my 5 years than I visited in my 25.
How to explain to a child a phrase from Mikhalkov's poem
We live in the same apartment.
All our neighbors know us.
Just call me – four.
“Twelve times?”
Tell me how? A child in confusion.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №67719
 30.07.2012
Girls, well when you understand that the guys don’t need anything but sex, and we just can’t imagine a normal relationship between a man and a woman without sex.
With respect, normal people.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67718
 30.07.2012
I can’t get used to the fact that 140 million people write about Russia, because when I was in school, we were 150 million.
Yyy: And when I was studying, we were 280 and not in Russia.
And now exactly half of them suddenly turned into fucking shit, right?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №67717
 30.07.2012
Terrorists threaten dozens of cities in Tajikistan. How likely is this scenario?
- If they exploded the building in the MSK they would have killed more Tajiks!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №67716
 30.07.2012
I went to the village with my father. On the way, they went to a village to buy food. I was surprised how the store changed. Everything is done in the way of a supermarket: shelves, refrigerators, everything you can take, look at, etc., even surveillance cameras and a monitor... and attention...FACTIONS!!! Not even a calculator, stupid calculations!! to
The breakdown of the pattern occurred immediately))))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №67715
 30.07.2012
to the day of the Navy, VDV and other things, increasing the concentration of mutant to unthinkable limits:
Fuck, you need to find a holiday for the commander of the car repair squad - I will walk with the assembly in my hand and ask all the opposite and transversal - and you, fox, spread from the kneewalk distinguishes?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №67714
 30.07.2012
Recently, the Pope, on the order of the Ministry of Emergencies, was sent to rescue the mushrooms lost in the forest. The coordination of the losses was mainly from home and my mother was monitoring the process. And when the mushrooms were almost found, Dad went after them into the woods. My compassionate mom didn’t come up with anything better than wrapping the mushrooms with a few cookies with mushrooms.

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