bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115053
 20.06.2015
Then they ask, “How many have you already given birth?”
Not to mention that after abortions and giving birth, not everyone gets it.
I have two and even two grandchildren.
........................................
The future has arrived! On the humorous resource do the grandmothers come to fight.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115052
 20.06.2015
I had a friend, a programmer. A typical chauvinist, I could not tolerate it, thought that all the babies were chickens (!!!)And I in particular. And at work I don't do a niqab, because I leave on time, I don't have aurals, and in general I got here through someone's bed (!!!!!) is
...
The first month he called me two or three times a day, polite to madness, because (!!!!!) He understood nothing and asked to explain.
......
Wedding in autumn.
--------
When you fall in love, you close your eyes to the fact that the object of your passion is a fool, and later you cry because the object of your passion is a fool.
You will cry with him.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115051
 20.06.2015
Osof: Nevertheless, there are nice and kind people... Even if the mother is mentioned, or sends forgiveness, then as well as well, you to each other. It seems that the splicing shell of seeds holds a monocle. Well well right?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115050
 20.06.2015
I defended my diploma, I am God-like!
You are unemployed.
God does not need work.
and idiot.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115049
 19.06.2015
It seems that men have an informal competition for the title of the "Best prostitute of the week": who breaks the legs wider in public transportation - that is the prize :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115048
 19.06.2015
The smoke (five and a half)
I watered the strawberries. Carefully, under the bush, from my leash. My grandmother praised me. And then for some reason I was tired of doing good, took a hose and poured water into the mangal.

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115047
 19.06.2015
Egei, who made the list - how to recognize a fool? Just let him talk about gender, he’ll burn 😉
by *****
Exactly so! And even more cleverly on the issue of sexual minorities. In the absolute majority of cases, the setting of the "pedos harmful" is associated with the "baby of the second variety".

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №115046
 19.06.2015
From TZ – “Voices of operators make the same.”

Set up something so that when a client calls, regardless of which operator took the phone - the client heard the pleasant voice of the girl who responds to the calls. In other words, the voice on the internet has been converted into what we need.

It is....
Call to the CC.
- (with a nice female voice) Good morning, you are welcomed by operator Vasily!


[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115045
 19.06.2015
I have been married 5 years. I work, and she is not. So here! My wife has a job too. She does all the housework, she cares about the child. He paints with him, leads in sections, etc. Also washing, cleaning and cooking. In addition, purchases, quarters and financial transactions on it. My job is to provide my wife and son. My job is to bring money, no matter what ways + all the work like replacing bulbs or light bulbs or the son is great to repair. All electricity and sanitary equipment. I have finished)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115044
 19.06.2015
We have a professor of psychology at the institute. He loved all kinds of myths and derived from them expressions and nicknames, such as the work of the Sisyphus, and you do not have a group here, but Augie's stalls, and in that spirit. One of his favorite expressions was - Buridan's donkey, well, this is when the donkey could not choose from which stake to eat his seed. At any moment when the student doubted - he turned his "Well what you stand, Buridan's donkey, choose already". Our stream learnt out normally, but in the flow of a year younger there is a student by name.... The Buridans. In my opinion, he will not go to psychology.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115043
 19.06.2015
Same as that!
___________________________________
On the condition that if a man one day decides that he needs children, he will star in a decree himself.
--------
Are you really so fucking fucking?
Pregnancy is a special physiological condition of the female body associated with fertilization and development of the fetus in the uterus.
female and not male. Understand this and stop fooling and putting absolutely ridiculous and illogical conditions.
___________________________________
What you thought of is called "pregnancy and maternity leave", and what the woman wrote about is "pregnancy and maternity leave up to 1.5 (3) years".

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115042
 19.06.2015
What do you know about luck?
Asked from work, such as to the clinic, called a friend and went to the beach.
On the beach I met the director with a cute lady. They looked at each other, smiling silently.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115041
 19.06.2015
We are riding horses next to the house. The girl goes, the uncle leads, the mother is there. The horse rests, the uncle says the conic has fallen asleep. Mom pulls out the phone and, enjoying the moment while the conic stands, begins to photograph the daughter. At the Conex

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115040
 19.06.2015
I went to a gay club. Get rid of her, get rid of the girl.
Students from one corner. Even the former ones. On the dance floor, the patient accompanies with shaken eyes. I took a cocktail and pretended that I didn’t know where I was or where I was.
However, there are some disadvantages in adult life :(

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115039
 19.06.2015
Most women do not invest in relationships, and at the first opportunity they sit on their necks both financially and domestically.
and ******
I advocate for women. They invest properly in relationships. How they understand it: emotions, fantasies, all thoughts are attached to a loved one. And that’s why they so dumb their beloved, but much more shy men with calls, sms and excessive care. To require a student girl to invest in utilities and products on an equal basis with a well-earned man is to sit on the neck of a woman, because they still, in the overwhelming majority, pull on themselves. About yourself: Married for a long time. My wife doesn’t love me, fact. I married someone else. But she tried to create such an atmosphere of warmth, understanding and spiritual comfort that I really like to be at home. You obviously do not appreciate or notice mental effort, because such an atmosphere for a man can only create a woman.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115038
 19.06.2015
Online broadcast of the St. Petersburg Economic Forum 2015 on RBC:
Deputy Prime Minister Arkady Dvorkovich believes that you need to spend less time on business breakfast and work more. This opinion, paradoxically, he expressed at the business breakfast of Sberbank.


[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115037
 19.06.2015
XHH: made an important discovery for the self - it turns out, the kitchen shell (metallic) is best washed away from the outdated fat - attention! The business soap.

Welcome to the Blue Isolate Witness Sect.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115036
 19.06.2015
to this:

Women with whom you can have sex and enjoy the absence of problems. Would you leave any contacts.

On to! w.war@rambler.ru in the Netherlands. I feel like a crocodile :(

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115035
 19.06.2015
In fact, these pills "for every day" more so as not to be missed and taken seriously. They have a different content of the active substance, and more than half are just empty. Therefore, drink them should be in the order as drawn, and not any of the banks once a day.
-------
Learn to speak for everyone. There are pills for which the order of reception is important, because they are different. There are pills that can be taken in any order, only at the same time every day. Instructions are provided.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115034
 19.06.2015
Are you really so fucking fucking?
Pregnancy is a special physiological condition of the female body associated with fertilization and development of the fetus in the uterus.
female and not male. Understand this and stop fooling and putting absolutely ridiculous and illogical conditions.

Well, I can give birth. You are on leave to take care of a child up to three years old. This can be done by law, don’t you know? Well, I will smell on the apartment", and you with the children, and on the household, and so that the bore... Why not? It’s such a lava that men don’t crack, I don’t understand?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna