The calendar with the clocks impose on Andrew the effect "Return of Parents". Andrei gets +50 to the speed of cleaning and durability of garbage.

I decided to play the wedding with my girlfriend. In the list of guests my nephew (6 years old).
I: Well, Miss, do you have a dress for my wedding?
M: Yes, there are such short pants, the shirt is blue, and on the face of the SUPERMAN MASK and in the hands of the sword is huge!!! to
I: Mishan, let you come to me like this boy

on the forum an old authoritative biker (A) teaches a young man (M):
A: Let’s finally tell you, babes, that the superbike is for you.
Not a chopper. This device is specifically dangerous.
M: So why? The important thing is how to ride it. If I am,
For example, I will sit on your litre sport and drive slowly.
Well, I shoot, I will allow the car to 30 km so, nothing terrible.
Did not happen?
A: Yes, you will have blood from your nose with a fountain!
M is yes? CHO is why?
A: I’m going to fuck you all!

from discussing the distribution of the opening of the Olympics on torrents (compare commentators on different channels):
by Alex.Om
Eurosport: *Nearly a whisper* "Aaaah, look what a beauty! Oh good guys! Wauauau! They are very good."
Sport 1 (Guberniev): * on emotions* "Yes, you just look!!!! * silence* (seemingly matters, the microphone turned off) Yes I...!! You are...!! The EP! Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh! It is beautiful!! Here are the trolls!! This is so unimaginable!! Aaaah! OOOOOOOOOOO!!" ) )
First: "Sorry for interrupting you. I interrupt you too. Sorry again, but I will interrupt you..." PPC!!! to
There was a moment at the first:
And here we see 5 tubes at the stadium.
I am going to fix it, six.
And I will fix you, seven of them!

xxx: I already, as a well-deserved poffigist of the USSR, have all gone by.
The USSR collapsed two years before you were born.
HHH: Yes, I have a poof

Wife: I have my legs turning.
Calcium is lacking. Or the calcium.
Wife: What other potassium?
The cyanide...

How was the first date?
You are all hackers, why did you introduce me to him?
XHH: What is it?
ууу: in the evening we walked along the shore, gave me flowers, was very nice, I fell in love, pulled home, he settled on my bookcase, well, I think he also loves to read, well, just a dream, and he with the words "sorting should not be by name, but by size" half the evening put my books. You still ask what happened? So, Denis, nothing happened, not even a kiss to say goodbye.

I like the news of Rambler.

Anti-pedophiles will force the owner of “VKontakte” “to hang on a liana”.
The next:
A gorilla male hanged in a Czech zoo.

Skipper-Beast: In short, yesterday at four o’clock everyone gathered to congratulate the enikeys, and I said I won’t go, because they’re all stupid and their hands all grow from their ass. After half an hour, two of these beard-bearers come, telling me to finish the session, they need to change the components in my system. I quietly push them out of the system from under the table, move my leg towards them, and continue to work. They are in shock. Then I push out the shelf with the keyboard, and behind it Sony swings up with a megaphone whistle, to which everything is connected. Imagine, these fools did not notice that I have been working this way for six months, and I did not go out at all in their bowl!

X: I cut my hair.
Y: These eyes were

Headhanter

The vacancy:
Director of Development/Commercial Director (pumps for petrochemistry, aerospace, energy, shipbuilding)

level of salary:
from 300 thousand rubles.

Only two conditions:
A free schedule of work is possible.
Based on the results of the work, bonuses and prizes.

Only three requirements:
Development of a prospective development plan of the enterprise
Ideas and a creative approach to work.
The presence of stable relationships at the level of first persons in one or more of the above-listed sectors of the economy (obligatory).

xxx: today contributed to the recovery of youth
YYY: Did you stop drinking?
XXX is no. I go on the street, 2 students asked to buy beer, said, they will give money, wait on the street, and I will take them. I encouraged them to act more intelligently and more secretly, and suggested that I put an opaque package in the storage chamber, and give them the key, and they will open and take their beer in half an hour.
Yyy: Not a conspiracy
xxx: I go to the store, buy 2 juices for children from 0 to 3 months, and lie in a bag.
Now hope that the schoolchildren don’t remember your face, or they’ll grow up again.

Medical website:

2011-08-30
About eight months ago, he suffered a penis injury during the act. A day later there was a subcutaneous hematoma, a bleaching of the urethral canal and a minor tumor. I did not go to the doctor, hoping that "it will pass by itself". It has not passed - in the genital organ after a considerable time, sealings along the urethra are still felt, incomplete filling of the organ with blood during erection, curvature of the penis and painful sensations during sexual intercourse. In an erected state, the member flexes freely at the place of curvature. Is it possible to correct the situation and restore normal sexual life? or it is time to look for other joys - fishing, brand collection, domino... With respect, Nikolai, 34 years old.

He pulls me in the train by the hand. I go, I stand and try somehow unnoticedly to pull out my hand. He goes to the station and puts out his hand. I am glad you are free. Not for long. Using my strop, they embrace me, kiss me in the cheek and leave, saying, “So far.” I am standing in the wharf and watching a man disappear in the crowd, thinking:
The WTF? What was it?

It was a bet. You were chosen as the most hindered on appearance, calculating that you are confused and will not give in the face.

by Zy. You can not thank.

Whitesunset: Are there any English speakers here?
Depending on what level
Pegazs: Fq dbk cgbr ahjv vfq [fhn
Pegasus is a professional.
Ganon: Immediately seen

Her erotic dreams torment. :D
The body is rebelling.
He: I am ready to bring my troops into it to suppress the rebellion.

According to statistics, more than half of marriages end in divorce.
WOW: And the rest what?
XHH: What is it?
Oh... by death.
Q_Q Mom, I don’t want to get married!! to

Comments on the benefits of running:

I have been running for 35 years! First from the guard, then from the organs, now it is just a habit. I run early in the morning, speed 85 km / h, pulse does not change!!! to

From the C++ textbook:
A comment is a note written by a programmer for the user of the program.

And it is right. Don’t feed users with bread – let the comments in the sources read!

The law enforcement authorities detained a group of Orthodox patriarchs who broke into the concert of Shnura in rushes and performed a prayer "Our Father, you are in heaven!", which deeply offended the feelings of the punk of all Russia.
Parents are at risk for up to seven years.