He who has no purpose is doomed to the goals of others.

The telephone novel

Although they say that a good person is not a profession, but this little story proves the opposite.

I recently got a new administrator. Young, but quite intelligent and studying at the journal.
Colu, I can easily call a good and decent person and this property often helps him in everyday life.
Once he called out to help the old lady get to the house with a heavy bag from the metro. It turned out that the daughter of the old lady works as a cashier in a local supermarket. Since then, Cole has been loaded with a large discount (for internal use), and a couple of times even in debt.
But this is a little bit compared to what happened to our hero three months ago.

Kolya rushed to work, suddenly a brutal darkened machinery was parked next to him, a round-colored unshaken brunette looked out of it and said with a gentle Caucasian accent:
- Brother, let me call for a short time, or they're afraid to take the phone, they know it's me. Don’t be afraid, it is fast.

Kolya noticed that a couple of brunettes were sitting inside and refused. Especially because hardly anyone will look at his iron-concrete phone, which was not worth more than a tank of gasoline.
And then, Cole was insured – prepared, in case, to take off the Mercedes side mirror, and my administrator runs very quickly...

But fortunately, the round-faced brunette had no plans for Colin's phone and loud screams were heard from the car:
and AL! Yes, this is also my phone, I have a short suitcase. Do not hang the phone. And why? Let’s meet tonight and talk. Come on tomorrow, you hear? For whom do you hold me? For the Dodic?! to
I wasted time and money! This is Kidding! I will find your address and come. Yes, and add coffee – it’s another two hundred and that 2400. Here are such! Ordinary 2400 I advise better not to sound me, let’s meet, let’s sit down, let’s catch up... Listen to the sheep.

The window opened and the black car finally released Colin’s phone with the words:
Here is the sheep, the tubes throw! Thank you brother, good luck to you.

That same evening, Colin's mobile phone suddenly filled up for 2500 rubles, and then came the SMS:

“Dear Sir Arthur.
If you think that any girl with whom you went to the cinema and drank coffee should immediately go to bed with you, then I’m forced to disappoint you – that’s far from the case.

P.S
Say goodbye, don’t call me anymore, I am not worthy of your attention.
You are a very good guy. Although not beautiful, but generous and noble.
I send you 100 rubles more and don’t refuse anything.”

Kolya scratched his neck, sent 2500 rubles back to an unfamiliar girl and wrote:

“I’m not Arthur, but a random passenger who borrowed his phone from him.
This is not my business, but it seems to me that this is Arthur, not the person with whom it is worth sitting on one hectare, and much less spending your money on it. Better buy a new shirt.”

A second call:

But good day. My name is Tatiana. It is rare to meet a noble and decent person. I would like to invite you to the movie, to at least a glance. I have 2500 rubles.

Kolya agreed and Tatiana has been loving them for three months now.

Firefighter Sidov was inactive: the bank burned - the loan was extinguished.

I'm going to love at the fireplace.
YYY: Will you shake the battery?

@mahury> why should I not be afraid of girls?
@sl1> Because you can rape them, but they don’t.
@mahury> in the sense that they will not rape me?
@sl1> will be. There are all kinds of flowers, chocolate.

Translate about two servings of vodka at 100 grams? Ha ha ha! And to translate into English "chmo duralevo" and "this is I telnik skomunizdil" without losing expressive colour did not try?

In general, our driver at your address will soon fuck out.
YYY: Suddenly...
xxx: will come out
YYY: Nothing is terrible. He was already out of our "girls" to meet. ))

12:18 [newer] private [ klan] at my staff, in the office, there is music... nirvana... not loud, but they hear well. The boss came to them, and I had them too. The boss listened, said that he was playing some “girl girl” and left. Our proger stood up, said he was fired and went out of the office knocking the door.)))
12:19 [newer] private [ klan ] for nirvana offended )
12:19 [newer] private [ klan ] losers they are such losers ))

From the memorial to the beginner:

- You know, when around you start to straighten the fish-lotsman you have to drop the load belt...

I very much hope that there is a special branch in hell for employees of Sberbank. With stupid devils, with heroic consideration of punishment, and, fucking! With a mandatory wild line in front of the boiler!

Conversation with the buyer:
(p) - We need a memory mouse and I will immediately say that the flash is not about it!!! to
Why does it have memory and how will it be used?
(p) - We lead this mouse on a text, then paint it blue, click on the mouse... she remembers...
We all have mice with memory. and :)

On the escalator in the subway, the grandmother-watcher gave:
Leaders of tourist groups, do not let your foreigners take photos on the escalator.
They fall when they photograph!"

Rules of pedestrian transit:
A lonely pedestrian walking on a zebra attracts another dozen on both sides.

Dentists are terribly clever and unpredictable people! I came with acute pain, I say, teeth broken out, teeth broken out, I ask, and what to do with a sick tooth? They said, go, treat... what can be answered – full shit...blow!! to

The usual evening... I go to the kitchen, where my mother closes the cucumbers, and my sister, at the kitchen table, sits and paws (found a hobby at the age of 19). Her mother talks about her grandchildren. As a result, the sister can’t stand and this conversation occurs:
When I was 13 years old, a chiromant reminded me that I would have twins when I was 22.
Well and?
What is "no and"? You see, I sit and wait.

The truth is sitting and waiting.

I sit in line. Barishny, in principle, the people are funny, but in the women's consultation-directly the clone!! Sitting a thin pale girl, with a photo of the uzi, she fills the standard questionnaire, blows up... Here she raises her head and says, “The presumed month of birth of your baby... I’m you, fucking, Nostradamus?and "
I did not hold up! I cried in the voice 😉

You can't touch your hands - you can ruin the manicure.
God, why do we have this punishment?and "

God tell you, do you have such bodies?

How to distinguish anime from multiples?
Anthropomorphic animals in animation, in anime the opposite.

I got my first home!!I am so pleased with my first two-seat tent!Blessed to you!

Why do you travel through half a city? Since I am single for the fourth day, I propose to surrender to the confectionery ravage of me.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX returned to his hometown. A heartbreaking story. He was like his parents at night. Well I went, and went, warned because in advance, I slept quietly. I wake up at three and a half at night from a phone call. Worse than night calls are only night visits – I immediately panic, because I don’t expect anything good from them. Oleg is calling. All, my heart has died, I understand what happened to the emergency... I respond to the challenge... And what do I hear?
yyy: Drunk confessions and women's voices in the background?
xxx: With an absolutely sober voice, he asks me if he will do it if he makes a giraffe tattoo in the back!
Suicide: What did you say?
Well, if it were in the afternoon, I might have answered more sharply. And so the demand, the evil... Advised, once he loves Africa so much, to smash another hippopotam on the swallow, and a struts on the ass.
YYY: And what then?
xxx: Something... "And he’s no longer married to them" :-)