bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №158416
 27.07.2022
The bottle of Taroun. The inscription reads: “Made by an old recipe.”
The following: "Composition: purified water, flavor, identical to natural (E265), sodium benzoate, dye(E231)".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158415
 26.07.2022
xxx: People who see sexual subtext in everything are stressed. Stop the exaggeration. covering this topic. End it now.



Yyy: 69 percent of people see hints of wet dreams, even when looking at dry statistics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №158414
 26.07.2022
In life, everything, like in the kitchen, slightly squeezed, did not look and immediately smelled fried.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158413
 26.07.2022
Recently, a film actor – a star of cult films – landed at the airport of New York, flying from London. During the delivery of the baggage, a young fan approached him and asked for an autograph. But just paintings from the idol seemed to the boy little and he began to sleep the actor with questions. Despite the fatigue after a long flight, the actor did not go away, but carefully answered everything.

So it happened that next to this moment was TV producer Andrew Kimmel - he arrived on the same flight. Having witnessed this conversation, the star's companion recorded the conversation and posted it on social networks.

Do you live in New York? The boy asked.
I live in Los Angeles.
How long are you going to be in New York?
Four days! No... Five. Five days!
Why are you in New York?
I want to go to a Broadway show.

But the boy was so upset that after another couple of sentences he had finished questions. And then the actor began to ask his own and ask why the boy was in Europe, which Paris galleries he went to and which he liked the most.

“A man could not be kind, especially after an international flight. I thought I’d share this because he’s a great actor, and such small moments can make such a big difference in people’s lives,” said Andrew Kimmel. And he is right.

This actor has long been famous for his kindness, and some facts say more about his qualities than all his friends. For example, he helps his filming groups on the scene, carrying equipment. After completing the filming of the fourth part of the cult film, he endowed the cascades with expensive watches. He is also the founder of a charity fund that helps in the treatment of childhood leukemia.

Do you want to feel great these days? It’s easy: just find that person, despite his occupation, and talk to him. You may not even prepare for that conversation. Keanu Reeves himself will be interested to ask you about your life. and honestly. honestly.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №158412
 26.07.2022
What are you and your wife talking about?
and expensive.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158411
 25.07.2022
A acquaintance told me. She was 14. I went with my family to rest on the Black Sea. Parents gathered on the beach with another company, she was swimming with a mattress. Opening his eyes speaks of a strange hiccups. She fell asleep on the mattress and around the dolphins. The shore is seen by a thin line on the horizon. Thus, Throchanula speaks like never before, begins to grasp on the seventh elevated. As she grabbed to the shore, she struck the blood of her buttocks on the mattress. I found theirs, and they were sitting with their companions and crawling on the beach. They didn’t even notice she was missing. It suddenly turned off, he said.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158410
 25.07.2022
I am 13-14 years old. The parents sent him to the store and gave him a large note. I don't remember how many more, the numbers on the modern way. For example, I gave 1000. I went to the store and bought what I asked. I took the surrender.

In front of the store is the square and there is a maslenica. All kinds of fair, fair. Go to see. I stand in a crowd. I look under my feet - 500₽ lies. I was sweaty. The foot came. How to do, how to raise? I have money, I have money! And let's buy them all in a row: and pins and cockroaches and other nonsense.

In an hour and a half, it’s time to go home. There is still ice cream! I come home happy. Mom asks for a delivery and I find that she is not there. It was my money that fell out of my pocket, I raised it and spent it myself. It flew...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №158409
 25.07.2022
Summer and the beach. I am swimming with my future wife. She has my athlete - running, skiing, swimming and others. I swim like g... 5 minutes no more.

The lake is big, she tells me swimming on the other shore. There was a man’s pride in me and we went swimming. In 7-10 minutes, I feel like everything is crazy for me. My girlfriend sailed far ahead. And here the girl in front of me is swimming on the inflatable mattress, I am next to her. So, save for God’s sake. I hold onto the inflatable mattress, we sailed to the shore. Hands and legs tremble from the overstress, as it came out. My girlfriend has been on the shore for a long time.

She dropped only one word.

Are you flirting?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №158408
 25.07.2022
xxx: I watched the first film Lord of the Rings on a date with a guy who wanted to impress me, so the whole film didn't get stuck :( And he told mostly that he was too smart for such a movie, and everything was obvious and predictable to him.

I watched the movie once and eight times in a row. I went to the cinema every day. It was Ohuenno.



YYY: You see what a good guy he was. He is smart, he explained the whole film to you. And the second movie you had to watch eight times to figure out what it was for.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №158407
 25.07.2022
xxx: In my city it is easy to recognize a good specialist: if he has removed from here, then the specialist is good.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158406
 25.07.2022
While we feared that the internet would spoil our children, television spoiled our parents.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №158405
 25.07.2022
Do to others as they would do to you if they knew you would do to them the same.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №158404
 25.07.2022
I went to the dentist. The doctor-woman cried with a very caring voice, like a child:
- Sit in the chair, head on the pillow, right, yes, bend the beard... The procedure is unpleasant, but necessary. Now we'll turn on the device, it'll whisper, don't be afraid. The leash from the mouth will go by a special tube, but if you want to spit - here is the left leash... Well, let’s start? I’ll put the music, okay?
Included by Rammstein.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №158403
 25.07.2022
While we feared that the internet would spoil our children, television spoiled our parents.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158402
 24.07.2022
I remembered. Even at the time when the governor of St. Petersburg was V. Matvienko, she participated in some transmission, and had the opportunity to ask a question by phone. A woman called and complained that it was impossible to get a voucher to the doctor, she has been going for six months, but there are no vouches. At which Valentina Ivanovna firmly stated that such a thing cannot be and offered to prove it in direct. Directly from the studio got the registration number of that clinic, and then there was an amazing dialogue, I repeat!! In direct broadcast:

Participants in the dialogue : M- Valentina Matvienko, B - grandmother from the registration office

B is registered.

M: Hi, I need a ticket to...

B: (interrupts, unhappy voice) There are no talons!

M: When will they appear? When can I call?

B: There was not, there is not and there will not be.

He dropped the phone.

Then in this clinic for about a month there were always vouchers to any specialist, and then again it was gone.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158401
 24.07.2022
He paid for a vital operation. So now he says every time in the company, “Thank God for this.”

To my objections, say it wasn’t God paid you and made the prophylaxis, and I and the surgeons, he answers simply – “well right, it was God who helped me, just your hands.”

Although it is necessary to acknowledge me and the doctors, he is also grateful, but the role of us as pedestrians in this "game" is a bit discouraging.

God is with you 😉

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №158400
 24.07.2022
Now I have a Grant, before that was a 2001 Ford Focus 1. I leave the TC, two persons of unknown nationality are mistaken in the parking lot near my labyrinth.

The further dialogue:

“Sell my car, brother?”

“I’ll give you 200.” (at the market in 100-130k)

“No, brother, you won’t sell her for that money!”

“I wasn’t going to, it was a parking lot, not a car shop.” He sat down and left.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №158399
 24.07.2022
A camera in our cottage settlement captured the sex of some people at the fence.

So, we and our neighbors are upset how much more such a mess will continue!

The 21st century, and a street surveillance camera of insufficient quality to normally consider everything!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №158398
 24.07.2022
I walked with my future wife at night on the fountain. The trails are illuminated, but the shore is not. This is important because it is not possible to see from the sidewalk what is happening at the fence of the river. I leaned my wife to the fence and fucking, we are not visible in the shadow, and we all see what is happening around us. It is extreme sex. Until the fountain passed by the fucking vapor, which illuminated everything around him up to the sidewalks. We, like the palm of our hands, people from the steam steam wave our hands, rejoice, take pictures... Well, shit, we also wave. A minute of glory.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158397
 24.07.2022
Is retirement a lifetime leave or a lifetime leave?

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