bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84105
 13.07.2013
All my life I’ve been complex because of my name. But now I get an incredible pleasure when a patient enters my office and reads on the baggage that the doctor who is going to treat him now is named Anastasia Yakovlevna Gravel.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84104
 13.07.2013
Comments on the list of queries TP "How much should a real man earn?"

I don’t understand why she has 7 books a month and webinars?
YYYYYYYYYYYY Buying cowards for 110k and a monthly trip to the gynecologist you understand?
Zzz: To have something to talk about with the manicure
Hhh: Why is there no lease for soft toys on the list?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №84103
 13.07.2013
XXX: even the beast served, and you are shameful, don’t you?
You see what the army is doing!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84102
 13.07.2013
Having moved with a half-year-old daughter (without strength), on the ears of her husband, she offered him a new role-playing game - "les": I am a thorn, he is a thief))

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84101
 13.07.2013
We have gas in our apartment. And with you?
We have a water pipeline! Here is!
We have air conditioning.
The fucking...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84100
 13.07.2013
Looked out the window, like you want to click on the car with the cursor, and drag it to the free place next to the entrance.

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84099
 13.07.2013
Faith is wonderful. This is spirituality, love of neighbor and high moral principles. Religion is a means of controlling black money, brainwashing and the withdrawal of money. Do not confuse God and the RPC, do not cover the Faith for the sins of the popes.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №84098
 13.07.2013
Tussi: I can imagine a kind of Bond...James Bond... stolen into the enemy’s office. Ventilation is natural. Well, this one goes down on a rope to the guy’s compass... And now in the hallway there are voices... But he will have time. He opens the cover of the notebook, turns it on, prepares the flash... And here "Application of Windows Updates 18945... " and so on three minutes... And then "Settings of the Windows system"... Well, in general, the second message he won’t see anymore – he probably will have time to catch and start torture)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №84097
 13.07.2013
Whoever runs, there is no time to sit.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №84096
 13.07.2013
Happy dogs

One summer, a mechanic brought a healthy bullterrier from Norilsk to our cottage village in Tajmir. He went on vacation to the mainland for a month and a half, who wanted to keep the dog at his home for this time was not found, even if - at the bulterier everything was big, except the eyes, and he found nothing better than bringing a dog to the village at this time, but good people will not let him die of hunger.
It should be added that in the tundra almost always close to any housing live dogs, local varieties of laek. Others do not survive there, few of the dogs are able, like them, to sleep quietly right on the snow in a forty-degree mole, swinging up with a claw and hiding with a tail, or harvest for the feeding of lemings.
Only after leaving the helicopter, the bullterrier with a sprinklery walk of a hammered citizen went to explore the surroundings. Near the garage he saw dogs crawling from a distance. These were six-year-old puppies, whose dairy teeth were not all changed. With Liam the bullterrier rushed confidently to their side. The puppies raised their ears and looked at him with interest. The bulterier ran and rushed to one of the puppies. He had time to jump back and then the other puppies decided it was time to shake up, and stood up in a circle around the dog. The bulterier stumbled on one of them, at the same moment the second grabbed him in the ass. He turned to his side, and a third came in from behind. The bulterier said, if before that he just wanted to show who is the chief here, then now he stumbled on the puppies with obvious anger. His jaw was like a crocodile, and he could probably eat half of any of his puppies. If I caught. But there were problems with this.
The puppies continued their usual play. They even continued to chew their tails joyfully, it was visible that what was happening was fun for them. However, as soon as the bullterrier struck one of them, others immediately besieged him from behind. After a few minutes of such an attack, the bullterrier looked like an awkward heavyweight boxer, who regularly receives strikes from the baby, and himself can not get on him at least once. In his actions appeared first uncertainty, and then just fear. He ran to the garage and clung to him, closing his ass. The puppies did not yet clearly play, they joyfully jumped in front of the dog, as if inviting him: "Let's play again! It was so interesting!” the Bulterier stared at them, he obviously didn’t want anything. After that, I hardly saw him on the street, he moved only short distances between the buildings.
And for the first time I have seen how adult loves can keep a bear in place before the hunter approaches.

Mother of Siberia (c)

[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №84095
 13.07.2013
During large military exercises in the USSR, the company of special forces of the GRU was tasked with forcing the river. They approach the bridge with the inscription "The bridge is exploded". Their actions are observed by the general in a binoculars. The company stumbled on the spot for a few minutes and... walked over the bridge. General in rage! Looking at the binoculars, he saw on the back of the last fighter the banner "We are swimming".

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84094
 13.07.2013
Tell me, is this how a person who teaches can read horoscopes?And still believe in them?! to
_______
Shake, what is the difference? He likes it – let it read, you are a student, let it learn, or your logic is too limited. I build houses where people live, and I play in tanks where buildings are delighted to be destroyed. This does not mean that in life I build home so that it would be convenient to break down. My wife treats people and looks at anime, do you think she prescribes a cyst with tantals to everyone?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84093
 13.07.2013
Max, you have an invisible piece of earth.
Do you have an explosive part of the earth?
XH: Yes
YYY: How do you distinguish an explosive part of the earth from an invisible one?
Zzzz: he exploded there a couple of times

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84092
 13.07.2013
My brothers, Russians and Ukrainians. Here you are haunting your ruthless government with stupid laws. In our Belarusian, the prime minister went in general from the coils (Onishenko is nervously smoking aside): he is promoting the law on the collection of taxes from non-working citizens. This is the end, comrades.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84091
 13.07.2013
From Skype: When I communicate with religious people, I have a feeling that they have something in their heads. Because even the most seemingly armoured arguments they swallow, as if there is some vulnerability in human nature, some backdoor that some persons do not have. And through this backdoor with the help of exploits, decorated in the form of religion and used by all kinds of propagandists, a person runs and a malwar is pumped into him in the form of religion/belief. Gather a bunch of such people - and all, the botnet is ready. Managed through an extensive network of control centers of the type “Church,” or remotely from a single control center by a person who has authorized access to the “Patriarch.”

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №84090
 13.07.2013
I work as a remote programmer.

I sit, I mean, all day behind the comp, I work... In the cowards :-) I work, I go to smoke, for coffee, for lunch - all in the cowards. In the evening I finished, wearing shorts, went for a walk in the garden.

Wife : What? Working day is over? Dressed at home?

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84089
 13.07.2013
The song "God, what a man" is not really a song. It’s a bitch that feels beautiful.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №84088
 13.07.2013
I understand rightly that because of the CIA’s listening to us, Obama cannot now be called a Negro?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84087
 13.07.2013
here here :

I have a washing machine with over capabilities. During the washing process, she jumped to the door and was about to leave the bathroom. The story of Fedorino gore is remembered: "A table fell out of the window and went, went, went, went, went..."It is necessary to clean up...
___

And even better, the transport bulbs turn off. It will help, inf 146%

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84086
 13.07.2013
As the package reached me, I managed to get married, change my surname and sign up with my husband. Now the evil aunts don’t betray her because I’m not me.

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