What happens if a glass of water is poured out into space?
— — —
You will laugh, but it will boil and freeze :)

to this:
And yes, cats are better at apologizing than girls.
___
They know better than girls. Cats never feel guilty.

And now, with the beginning of the holiday season, you and I have the opportunity to observe a surprising phenomenon: the seasonal migration of a huge bunch of diverse shit from the balconies and chulans of the citizens to their mansions. This process is widespread in Russia and the former Union in general. Many Western counselors have shaken their brains trying to understand the meaning of this process. Their cold rational mind is unable to understand why they need to wash, for example, rotted shoes a hundred kilometers away, to throw them out there. The brains of Soviet and Russian researchers behind them, with the slightest hint on the irrationality of these migrations, are subjected to harsh rape by their initiators. The main carriers are various creatures from the units of husbands and daughters.
Q: Do you want to go to D?
I have a broken laundry :(

For the litre-benzo kilometers:

I put together clocks and cats, multiplying them into people.
Take care of your health if you are not sorry!
But why read the condition: once - multiplied, two - added.
This is not a clever science, if you look at the answer.
Only the grandfather of the younger grandson was 5 years old.
And to the town of Sverdlovsk Nalchik was closer than Kamishlov,
An Indian boy ate 125 elephants.
The journey to Mars was a short 200 liters to Earth.
Two and a half boys and a half girl went to school.

When I was a child, I laughed at the twins.

I was in Murmansk a long time ago. I went to a network supermarket, exactly the same one we have in Moscow in the neighboring house. On average, the prices of all rubles are 5-50 lower for the same products. The range is much larger. A, they also have a holiday of 53 days and "northern".
I am looking for something special for big. Where are the best prices and more options? In the Peter. And with shipping by mail once in 2 times cheaper than ordering on the Moscow website with courier delivery. And all kinds of funny monuments to birds and cats ' for good luck' and museums, museums, museums.
of Krasnodar. The most delicious Cuban tomatoes, not evergreen greenhouse something.
Altai - excellent honey, clean air and fantastic nature.
Kaliningrad... emm... – Kaliningrad!
Veliki Novgorod - the Kremlin, a museum with Bibles, beaches, apple gardens, people who sincerely love their city and are ready to tell its history for hours?
Vyborg - interesting architecture, pre-racial parks, good people, wild northern nature.
Novorossiysk - the opportunity to engage in windsurfing, windsurfing, diving and snorkeling all year round, steep fishing of non-six-eyed three-headed mutants and muddy moscovite.
Anapa - paraplans, deltaplans, horse rides in the mountains, the sea from May to October, apricots and cherries on the streets instead of wicked topols.
Adygeia - rafting, trial, excursions to the sea through the mountains, wonderful water from which the hair is like silk.
The list can be continued to infinity.
And I, fucking, now what, hate all Russia?

"Fonnadke" by Lennon:

by Maelinhon:
I bought dark glasses today. Seller for 40 years.
Can I help you something?
Yes, I need glasses "under Lennon"
What is?
- Well you know, they are so called - "in the style of Lennon", round, with a thin footer.
In what style...? whom?
The People Around – John Lennon! and Lennon!
Who is this...?
- O_____O
Oh god, here are they, here are they hanging.
I’m angry, girl, you’re confusing me. This is called a circle! A round look!
Quadro Facepalm

= = = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
And what, to say simply "Round glasses" religion did not allow?
I myself wear the same when I was looking, honestly said that they needed round. Answers from sellers:
Round like a bicycle, right?
How is the cat Basilio?
How about Ozzy Osbourne?
What is "Leon"? (There was a movie with Jean Reno)
How about Harry Potter? (This is a classic)
In the style of "The Blind Pew"?
And the most original – "O! The round! Like Steve Jobs!"
No one remembered Lennon.
Morality – do not fuck, but speak simply. In addition, Lennon himself wore glasses of any shape.

Yesterday at 12 o’clock I spoke three times in the mirror to the Bloody Mary and the nihua didn’t happen.
Well, I did almost the same and everything went well with me.
How did he do almost the same?? to
In the bar.

The call from the scene of the crime, the usual wet, the guilty confessed on the phone, said no resistance will do, well we just take him and the body to inspect we go.
They arrived, on the floor is expected to be a slug in his own juice, and over him the body killed in the slum blows into his mouth, grit: "I hit the brain here and I think it all went on! " And blows the brain.

I’m supposed to be accused of lying, but it actually happened. So: yesterday a girl calls and says: she has a table in a Word file, and she needs it in Excel. I recommend ctrl + c / ctrl + v. She later calls back and says - and I just changed the extension from doc to xls - and the file opened in Excel. As I cried, I thought a lot.

The match between Brazil and Croatia...

The national team of Brazil is so tough that only the national team of Brazil can score it.

xxx: productivity at 33.86 ptaflops (quadrillions of operations per second) - Chinese supercomputer
YYY: Did they not try to put chrome on him?

We watched Stephen Hawking's movie "Aliens, Why They Are". There, in particular, possible extraterrestrial gas-like beings feeding lightning energy are being considered. I argued that this was an absolute nonsense, but my one skillfully silenced me by saying that there is rule 34 for aliens that says “what alien you invent – they are somewhere.” No exceptions."

xxx: I'm solving a problem in physics here - but, fucking, lazy - you don't have a book - it's called... there it's sort of disassembled?
YYY: There is. Catch the reference.
...
YYY: So what did you do?
xxx: Oh - I looked - there are six pages of formulas - so it became lazy in the book to understand - I thought and I did it myself.
Yyy: Really Russian approach however!

The classic has been forgotten.
And how without that...
And yet another:
Add to:

xxx: I would like to hear some helpful advice)))
Fly with Aeroflot aircraft.
Keep money in the savings box.
When you leave, turn off the light.
Not to hide.
Take care of
Smoking is harmful to your health.
Koi iron - count the money without leaving the box.
PS: After reading, burn, pull out the cable, squeeze the glass.

Do not drink much, do not swim for bucks, carefully open inside, take care of your cucumbers.

If reason and life are dear to you, stay away from turf swamps.

The idea of this fairy tale, and maybe not a fairy tale, will understand not only an adult, but even - he-he - a carapace: Don't stand and don't jump, Don't sing, don't dance Where there is construction or hanging cargo!
____________________________
If you are rushing by the corridor on a bicycle, and in front of you suddenly came out to walk - do not turn into the kitchen, in the kitchen a hard refrigerator. Brake straight to Daddy – Daddy is soft, he will forgive.

to this:

Discuss the Scandinavian mythology.
I: And here is the horse Sleipnir, eight-legged, what is it? Did he look like a spider?
Husband: No, since it was Loki’s horse, it was like a limousine.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sleepnir is the horse of Odin, just born he was Loki, when he was re-incarnated into a cobble to distract from the work of the giant who built Asgard.

To call a deputy a servant of the people is as unnatural as a prostitute is a girl.

Yesterday I decided to make a surprise to my loved one: come in a coat, and underneath him the socks and underwear, in general, everything is as appropriate.
He went to his apartment for the first time. She called, opened her coat... An unfamiliar man opened the door, raised his hands and cried out:
God still exists!
It turned out to be a little mistaken...

In Russia, they are looking forward to Western sanctions prohibiting the importation of foreign vehicles.

I take a peanut and a stitch only from one grandmother, she puts a bunch so stylishly with a cassette film.

I work by wacht method as a geodeticist in Yakutia Every evening a planner is held. 7-10 harsh men (masters, craftsmen, laborers, geodesists, mechanics, etc.) are gathered.Discuss the current day and plans for tomorrow. On the next planner I am late, I go to the "prorabka", a man sits around the table, I raise my hand and say: "Hello, my name is Eugene, I am also an alcoholic."
No one fell under the table, but laughed long and remembered long.

P.S I checked the spelling, I could not fix everything, but the urodes were bored without a sense of humor, but with a textbook in Russian.