bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114593
 09.06.2015
So how do you put those stuff under the photo?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114592
 09.06.2015
YYU: Not that I was a loser, but my luck is very specific. Here, for example, I split the nuts, and it... it... is empty. Not rotten, not dried, without mold and web, just completely empty.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114591
 09.06.2015
About cat names.The boy wanted to name the little cat "Gave". This furry animal waved up to 5 kg and began to run out periodically to the street... I look very ambiguous in the eyes of the inhabitants of the neighboring multi-storey buildings when I go out to look for His Catship, because all kinds of plebey ‘oxyxi’ he ignores, responds only to the name...

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114590
 09.06.2015
The Soul:

I did a repair in the apartment (I hired people to put only tiles), I know how to cook deliciously, I follow the order, once every two days I clean the dust and once a week I do general cleaning, I don't bump, I started the washing machine myself, I can wash my hands, I collected all the furniture myself...
What is wrong with me?
--------
Too little information for a correct diagnosis – well, except illiteracy. Maybe you’re a cat quarterback or even a pedophile who knows you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114589
 09.06.2015
Andrey: I watched an epic picture from the balcony in the courtyard:
The little ones trained the goalkeeper according to the Brazilian system, namely, two throw stones, and the third, with a spade in his hands standing in front of parked cars, tried to repel these stones with the same spade... it didn’t always work.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114588
 09.06.2015
To this: Something I was counting on clothes, and let’s go back to another classic: I like to walk in sandals with socks at the same time. Who is with me?

I join you, and I want to add that for the dirty trolling of the bad guys, concerned about the appearance of others, I wear sandals with socks of different colors.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114587
 09.06.2015
In Switzerland, human dust has been transformed into diamonds for 11 years. The comments:

A great idea, probably the most elegant way to use human dust.

Memento_mori: and practical: for the same money everything, in principle. And so: find a place on the cemetery, issue documents, place itself, etc. The important thing is not to steal. It’s a bit uncomfortable with thieves.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114586
 09.06.2015
The haters of fried potatoes and manezika - tavarischi, run out and kill the apsten. Everyone has the right to eat what he/she wants, if he/she is not eating at your expense. Local nutritionists borrowed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №114585
 09.06.2015
World of Tanks

I am from Ukraine!
and.
and.
and.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114584
 09.06.2015
Kamment in task from a programmer: Moved the cities of Sevastopol and Simferopol to Russia
yyy> what a polite man

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114583
 09.06.2015
Reviews on the training center website

I recently visited your workshop “The Art of Oral Sex”, and I want to express your great gratitude for the amazing training and your extraordinary charisma! The next day after training I had a very responsible conference I went to, loaded with your energy and full of self-confidence – again thanks to you! There were a lot of men in the jury, and I thought, “I’m a great specialist, of course, and I know how to do a deep throat!” Thank you for this charge of strength and faith in your abilities! Prosperity to your center! I will definitely come back again!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114582
 09.06.2015
In which wild places there is nothing of the listed: hiring staff, delivery of dishes, semi-finished products, multivarks, fast food, cooking the second spouse, large cans and a large refrigerator to cook 1-2 times a week?
The population is growing, and the mind is constant.
– – – – –
Yes, it is very simple - there is no place where the median wage is 20 thousand rubles. Thus e. in Russia. For 50 per cent of working citizens, the “loan staff” is something of the bourgeoisie, fast food is wildly harmful and expensive, half-fabricates too. The population is growing, and the amount of money in the country is constant. If you became richer, a few people outside Default City became even poorer.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114581
 09.06.2015
Let’s say you sleep 8 hours (which is fantastic a lot!Plus 6 hours for a walk...How do you get everything left in 10 hours? really is.
____________________________
It has always been believed that 8 hours of sleep is the average rate, not a fantastic amount. After birth, it is not likely. But in general, if you have a lot of extra time in the presence of a newborn - you are just very lucky. Rejoice to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114580
 09.06.2015
How do we call the cat? and Poker. He is Pocher. 12 years already.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №114579
 09.06.2015
About the cared for: I remembered how five years ago I was in visits with friends of my parents, and there was one of their acquaintances with her grandson. I saw how I helped in the kitchen, looked and looked, and said: Oh, how you cut potatoes large... and there is no nail lacquer... you know, until you learn to cut small and paint nails, you do not get acquainted with my Oleg, he needs a household and cared for. I have five copies of eyes, I say, and why is your boy so good? He says he is kind and earns up to 30 thousand, and loves children. My husband, I say, is also kind and kids in plans, and earns as much as I am - 90. Well, the mother-in-law is gold, it does not interfere in our lives, and I do both of them. As a result, I am a shallow, once the engagement ring removed while cooking, and it is good that some unfortunate such a yoke collapsed, and in general he will soon throw me because of unpainted nails, and then that I would not roll to Oleghenko. It is a pity the boy...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114578
 09.06.2015
Dialogue with colleagues on budget deficit:

XXX is:
Soon, fucking, I will give to the rich Moscovites for food.

YYY :
Listen if I am with you.

YYY :
I can do it for free ?

XXX is:
by Gygogg. Agreed

XXX is:
No to. and not. You are dumping.

XXX is:
Give me food too.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114577
 09.06.2015
“Suffering is beneficial,” says the church. We Russians are very lucky in this regard.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №114576
 09.06.2015
A woman goes to our clinic every spring and summer. Every time she brings cats, all new and new. The cat treats, distributes and comes back next year. For a year exactly 1 time, but a package of 5-7 babies, sometimes even of different ages.
But no, she is not one of those in whom the cat experiences the "pleasure" of motherhood every year. And not from those who go specifically pick up cats. And not those who have a lot of rough tails in the apartment. She just got a cat. And his name is so... speaking – Masai.

At first, the cat brought his cats home. I walked somewhere and brought it. As spring comes to an end, so it begins. Always wear black, like him, as if others hadn’t done it. Per the strangers stole, so that only the blacks would be, who will find out there. When he brought all (one a day, say, the hostess was, exactly, and plus-minus one - who will notice) and made a break for a few days, the kittens gathered in a large box and went to the clinic. To treat – to vaccinate – to distribute. If the cat is interrupted, it means that everyone he wanted has already pulled.

The hostess was tired. One day on a rainy autumn day, Mazai came for castration. Everyone was happy in spring. Until the end of May. At the end of May, a poor woman rushed to the clinic and put a box with cats on the table, tired of saying, “You imagine, this caterpillar of foreign cats is now dragging! Now they are different!”
Healed and distributed. One, white, the woman left for herself. She named Gerasim, castrated and the next spring the cats went to the country together. People could not take Mazai with them, as they went forever, until the winter, but hoped that Gerasim would cool his dust.

Here is the end of spring. Every morning the housewife looks out the window anxiously to see if there is a cat on the doorstep. There were no cats. In the summer too. The cats played peacefully in the courtyard, occupied exclusively with each other.
In September, the woman came to me in tears, while hysterically chicky. Her husband is behind her, in his arms.
“You can imagine, I’m looking out the window, and these two fools under the fence are pulling something into the area, and even so! They are breaking! And friendlyly weave to the door something dirty in the ground, both of us. And it disappears. I jump out on the doorstep, chase the fools, and there is a puppy! Twice as many as both of them together! Here...” and they stretch me a hairy baby, a month and a half from the family.

The child is grown. In his 10-11 months he already weighs 40 kg. And Mazai and Gerasim were in shock at being dragged home, while they sat quietly like mice and did not leave the site.
Waiting for the end of summer and autumn.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114575
 09.06.2015
Until the girls first start bringing me to the bar to drink at their own expense and then divorce me for sex at home, while making constant compliments to my, for example, legs, there can be no gender equality. I’m sorry, it’s overwhelmed...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114574
 09.06.2015
Do not read the exhibits about Nietzsche and Freud at the same time.
Or you dream of a false Zarathustra.

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