bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114553
 08.06.2015
I went out for a walk with my husband and the evening was wonderful.
I’m Blyyn, I’m having my birthday after tomorrow... (well, I really forgot)
He is thoughtful – and don’t talk... (pause) to anyone!! to

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114552
 08.06.2015
If you get up early, you will find hot water in the boiler.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114551
 08.06.2015
I blinded him from what was, and what was, I protected him.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114550
 08.06.2015
She wrote something about her relative Yash, a great theorist. I continue.

Yasha really wants to get married and have children. In practice for ten years comes up with the wildest retaliation, why can not marry right now and this candidate (retaliation is more masterful, I was personally delighted with her grandmother early widowed, suddenly it is inherited! "). Recently, he broke up with another candidacy, because the opinions were divided on which university the future son should study.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114549
 08.06.2015
here here :
My mobile internet from a well-known operator costs 260p. In the month (unlimited), and they charge me a cable for 500r.
— — —
When you find a truly unlimited mobile tariff, and not a marketing shit, which cuts the speed to 64 kbit / s (and in this state, the modern Internet user is not needed, because even Viber and VAZAP do not work) after downloading 4-5 gigs (one movie in normal, but not low quality), you will tell us. Everyone is sitting on the cable.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114548
 08.06.2015
There is nowhere to park. At Yeltsin there was no such figured.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114547
 08.06.2015
I pulled into the cabinet a huge package of toilet paper... on the package the inscription in large letters "CARE FOR FALSE!"... Why is?Even my imagination refuses to come up with a reason for this.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114546
 08.06.2015
Fuck my eyes, you’re serious? 2 hours walk after childbirth. And where do you find time for everything other than walking and fitness? Do you see a child in a wheelchair? Who is cooking? Does the laundry control? Where did the power come from? 😉
The explanation is one - you just don't have a child :D In fact, even the best intentions and ambitious plans for non-stop walks break down in the first month after discharge. It is sufficient simply NOT to eat), supporting breastfeeding.
------------
She sees the child when babysitters bring to feed or call for a walk. The bourgeois have a different life. They find time and money for everything.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114545
 08.06.2015
During pregnancy, exercise and walking for several hours a day.
— — —
You are just a heroine! I imagine that after an 8-hour working day at the gym, then a few hours of walking, then dinner to cook, work at home to do... no, I can't imagine. Do you have no time for the mattress?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114544
 08.06.2015
of cats names.
Over the years, I don't remember why, but called the kittens a fly, grew up a melancholy six-kilogram good creature, which - a dude - will not hurt the flies. One day, this valley with eyes had a star hour, and she justified the nickname: trying to jump onto the refrigerator, fell into the basin with cherry strawberries (only the strawberries suffered, because of the fact that the strawberries were used for the first time). It was already cold. The kitchen, of course, looked like Dexter was chasing the victim in it. The victim herself escaped a non-fiction scare. I officially declare: very, very difficult to wash the cat and wash the walls and floor when you are pressed by uncontrollable rust.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114543
 08.06.2015
In the neighboring Giros there is an interesting dish "Suvaki kotbekon". Per in translation from Greek it means something delicious, but to experiment somehow reluctant.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114542
 08.06.2015
here here :
— — — —
During pregnancy, exercise and walking for several hours a day.
— — —
You are just a heroine! I imagine that after an 8-hour working day at the gym, then a few hours of walking, then dinner to cook, work at home to do... no, I can't imagine. Do you have no time for the mattress?
— — — —
She is not a heroine, she simply has the possibility of not having the same eight-hour work... If only the brains were enough to realize that not every pregnant woman can afford such a luxury - instead of working to do fitness for several hours a day...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114541
 08.06.2015
and after childbirth on a full layer 3 walks for 2 hours, hardly pushing the wheelchair in front of you (through the snow, which utilities did not clean up and through dirt in the summer) + daily fitness with gymnastics and swimming a couple of times a week (continue to follow the diet).

-
Fuck my eyes, you’re serious? 2 hours walk after childbirth. And where do you find time for everything other than walking and fitness? Do you see a child in a wheelchair? Who is cooking? Does the laundry control? Where did the power come from? 😉
The explanation is one - you just don't have a child :D In fact, even the best intentions and ambitious plans for non-stop walks break down in the first month after discharge. It is sufficient simply NOT to eat), supporting breastfeeding.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114540
 08.06.2015
xxx: Knee said you went to learn to play forex?
YYY: Yes, it was a matter...
YYY: one class of electricity visited
XXX: Did you not like it?
YYY: Well, how to say... there in general the case was done. There were several people, including those who, on the advice of these analysts, traded on real accounts.
yyy: this analyst comes out, and boldly, such as the adept of the herbalife: today is a super event, news is out, you can easily earn on the jump of the euro-dollar. Put all the quick buy selling like that, stop loss and take profit like that! Hurry up, there are a few minutes!
I’m on a demo account, I bet. A man on the real account, puts. We wait. Herax, the euro is jumping up, buying! Oh, let’s wait further. Heracles, the dollar has played back, it works stop-loss, and all deals close with a minus.
YYY: I lost a bunch of backs in the demo, well, but. next to the man fades, the analyst greens and something burch under his nose is hidden in one of the cabinets, from there it sounds something like "aaaaaaaggghhhh!!!and "
Yyy: In short, I got up and went home, because for me the topic was more open than ever :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114539
 08.06.2015
13362 is here.

For the purchase of a graphic tablet for the marketing department, of course, went to IT. “We know.” The case is straightforward: bought, decided to drive on a free car at home. Painted, even in the “quacu” on the fun run. The thing! Played, the PC was turned off, the tablet began to be placed in a box to be transferred to the customer. The head of the IT department comes in and in the meantime asks to demonstrate an unseen beast. The colleague connects everything backwards, demonstrating: pen down - the cursor up. He said, “Drivers are guilty. It’s all flying!” and goes into adjustment. In the silence I say:

Turn the plan.
This is the same thing....
The same nonsense periodically happens with the wireless mouse.You bring a notebook to work, unpack, connect the mouse, and the cursor begins to run the opposite.You look at the buttons, and the buttons were stolen! :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114538
 08.06.2015
In the children's world we choose a gift to the little one, I observe - Daddy - in toys for boys - very much interested in the toy - and here from the neighboring girl's row his daughter runs out and breaks his whole puppy. Should have seen.
UUU: It is time to come and advise to have a son.
My now in the village on order after work chase the machine on the radio control: a husband, a middle son and several people from the brigade... Tomorrow they will go fishing... Type Eliseu to show how the harpoon squid is beaten on the dam... Type themselves do not need...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114537
 08.06.2015
A colleague's daughter is ten years old, this colleague is not tired of being upset, how they ruined education and terribly taught children, this is the case with us! And it would be okay, but this colleague learned from me a couple of weeks ago that Lenin did not want to overthrow Peter the First. The man is 33 years old, school with a medal (silver), has a higher education.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114536
 08.06.2015
O'key, vodka: How to make a girl more attractive?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114535
 08.06.2015
Obama proposes to postpone G7 summit to beer

This is the only way to make Russia regret its exclusion from the G8

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114534
 08.06.2015
XXX: Come, Ridley, it’s time to get out of the garbage cane.

YYY: Lift yourself out of the garbage cane.

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