bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114453
 06.06.2015
XXX: What is raised quickly is not considered to have fallen.
Yyy: Are you really a system architect?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114452
 06.06.2015
Rise of 1% up to the apoptosis!

A humanitarian and a blonde, in one person, configures a VPN connection to watch their favourite series. It was suddenly blocked for IP addresses from Russia.

%b is %b! Yes, I didn’t even know about these words and technologies before the ban was introduced!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114451
 06.06.2015
It was spring, then it warmed sharply. I am going, grandfather, as usual, the shirt is short, the shirt is open.
It is twenty one, I answered.
It’s twenty-one in the evening, it’s cold.
... year.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114450
 06.06.2015
At work, one girl was interested in healthy eating. Now with the dust of neophytes and righteous anger is thrown on everyone who has eaten something not right enough: there are paints / preservatives / sugar / something else terrible, as you can! We work in the open space, so some employees are just shaking their eyes.

Yesterday, a colleague was attacked while eating a sandwich. I did not endure. He stood up in all his height and, looking at the sufferer from a height of two meters, bassed:

By the way, the Borgia family consumed half of Italy with a natural product, without chemistry!

I sat down to chew.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114449
 06.06.2015
Yesterday evening I learned from an eight-year-old child that the mirages on the track are not a breakdown of the streams of light. In fact, it is not time to load the textures because the car is driving too fast.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114448
 06.06.2015
tn: Everything I watch on YouTube: music clips and cartoons (we watch them with my son). One beautiful morning I go to YouTube and watch the recommended videos: Kurt Cobain with guitar, Tom York with guitar, Cat Matroskin with guitar.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114447
 06.06.2015
Discussing a megapore letter to the support service signed by "..., an independent researcher".

xxx> I’m sure he’s researching drugs. Certainly!
yyy> Then he is a dependent researcher.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114446
 06.06.2015
His first task will be to constantly involve citizens in some kind of wars, so that the people will feel the need for a leader. And if he suspects anyone in free thoughts and in denial of his rule, he will destroy such people under the pretext that they surrendered to the enemy.
Plato is a philosopher.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114445
 06.06.2015
X: greenhouse rolls, already metric tomatoes :)
Y: the gesture
What is the size of the bushes?
Y: We do not grow arbuses like this.
x: Unfortunately, I don't have such a roulette, and the laser lacks the range of reception

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114444
 06.06.2015
XX: I understand that June, but bringing my four men to school costs money, so you have to go ahead.
at night I sit out a post in the online store with the question: "Do you not plan to receive gray clothes for school clothes to unhappy boys... need a small, with a decent content of natural fibers (but not wool, in schools it is hot) and not a murderable cloth..if it will still be inexpensive, then generally super ";
XXX: while I wrote I thought that the description only suits breezent :-)
UUU: An anecdote on the subject (call if anything - I have an anecdote for almost every life situation, the children are fighting from me already).
The shoe shop.
The buyer:
I would like to see natural, quality but inexpensive shoes.
The producer:
I too.
ZZZ: About the asphalted children's writing or remember yourself?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114443
 06.06.2015
It is stupid to fear something that has not happened yet. It is stupid to fear what has already happened.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114442
 06.06.2015
It was long ago. He returned from a trip to Moscow. Before we landed in Emelyanovo we talked a little. Sit down normally. And now, when everyone began to walk out, I heard a wicked whisper behind me, “Why are you embarrassing me in front of people? Get up quickly! One punishment with you!”
and so on.
When I turned around, I expected to see a mother with a capricious baby. But I saw a thirty-year-old woman and an elderly woman (apparently her mother), intentionally attached to the armrests of the chair. She looked forward with a stalled gaze and was unlikely to perceive the angry replicas of her daughter.
And now is the time, it would seem, to be upset—saying how she can do so with her mother! But I thought about something else – and while this girl was a little girl, where did she get that pattern of behavior from? Where did she learn to whisper so wickedly, to hold her hand and to show her power? Isn’t it their parents – and not their mother, who is now sitting on a stone chair?
With what pleasure we break off on our children, breaking down on them anger or just a bad mood. We are drunk with our power. And then we become trembling helpless old men and begin to look at our wicked children.
Then, on the plane, a young stewardess approached the old woman. She leaned, and began to speak something quietly and gently. It took literally a few minutes for the old lady to get up, and the stewardess helped her get to the bus itself.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114441
 06.06.2015
The formula of the Russian economic miracle: wondered, wonder and let us wonder!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114440
 06.06.2015
You can get poisoned with cake for many reasons - for example, failure to observe the storage regime. The presence in the composition of the "country testicles" does not say anything. The more the inscription sounds like an advertisement, the normal producer in the composition will simply write “Chicken Eggs” if they are there entirely, or “Protein/yellow” if they are there partially.
– – – – –
Do not stumble. With "real village eggs" baking cakes at home. and independently. Of course, by technology "how the god on the shower put" - for example, decorate with protein cream ("without preservatives") or protein glazure; neither is subjected to and should not be subjected to thermal treatment. Hello to Salmonella. If someone does not know - in chickens, infection of eggs with salmonella can occur in the egg-producing pathways, even before shell formation. So no washing eggs with soap will save, only vetotesting chickens. Who is showing them to the veterinarian in the village?! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114439
 06.06.2015
ShLUshka S1u1T
Agripina: When was the last time you had sex?

Agripina
With whom?

ShLUshka S1u1T
clearly

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №114438
 06.06.2015
Tagged with:

> and do not understand that cooling things are not for sale

Do you not understand that you can get sick from the air conditioner and sleep for a week, and from the heat - not? Except that the head hurts, and that - only in the weak and non-wives. Yes, those weak and weak are you.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Heat stroke - no I did not hear, a thrombus, a heart attack, a stroke - no I don't know...


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114437
 06.06.2015
Once my wife and I threw meat slices into the window to feed the cats, but one day they saw a healthy rat at home and realized that we didn’t feed cats at all. Now throw out the cuts to feed the rat.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №114436
 06.06.2015
I touched the puddle of the eagle,
I switched off several times.
He was hospitalized and lived by the sea.
I took all the heights of happiness.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114435
 06.06.2015
For office hamsters, the norm of SanPin according to the temperature regime: the summer period is 23-25 ° C, and in the winter - 22-24 ° C. In case of deviations above or below, the employee has the right to demand reduction of working time according to the norms. Smoking norms for anyone.
Conditions should be used with the brain and not the yohochu. The maximum reduction should not exceed 5 degrees on board, otherwise welcome to the hospital.
3) It does not belong to anyone. The current is directed strictly into the empty space. There is no possibility - we direct the stream to the top, or we set up a special error (I don't remember the name), which lets the air from the surface.
Give the fool a glass shit, and his hands will cut and he will break.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114434
 06.06.2015
March, shameless, Sasha driving – I don’t drive a car. In the middle of the road, forests run at a terrible speed. Fuck how scary. And Sasha, just a church on the horizon, the wheel throws and let us be baptized. I don’t say anything, I just think: I’m so tolerant! But when in the fog, Sasha began to be baptized on something that turned out to be the indicator of "Vologda region" nearby, I did not stand and maternally insulted the feelings of the believers.

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