Aunt of Flowers
(It was a quote:
xxx> I want to get drunk with such simple cuddly aunts, only where to get such
yyy> in the boxes...
XXX> I don't know, I don't want to be really blue...
yyy> then - aunt of flowers!

I will go with my daughter to the flower tent, the daughter after the violin (not to say, to be very productive), I teach the child of life, say, you need to do more, try, crack.
the seller, binding the tape of the bouquet: yes, do not worry, you do not need to be especially diligent in the junior classes, this is what I say to you as a graduate of the Conservatory

So - yes, get acquainted with the florists as well.)

There was a maniac in the woods.
He wanted to be brutal and rude.
In the hands of skilled women.
The young man cried.

We have a key at work that has a label on which the "key" is written.

to this
– – – – –
The Habr.
AndersonDunai: Dangerous Dave, Brothers Pilots, Color Lines... Seriously hit for the live. I played on a black and white laptop.
Sparhawk: In Color Lines?
– – – – –
and what. I also played on a black and white laptop in Color Lines. These were real "50 shades of grey".

From Habr:

by Emostar:
I’d watch you get out of the warp in the gravitational spell created by the Sun.

Maverickcy is:
The Cosmic Roads! Now there are horses in space.

Our accountant has a big farm, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing: they have 2 adult huskies and 1 bulterier (the other animals), and 3 three-month-old huskies. And here she sits today and dreams:
My husband and I hadn’t gone to sea for so long. There would be someone who would look after the farm. An elderly couple...
I clarify: A couple of suicides, you mean?
I was offended)

Dmitry Khaleev: Okay thanks
Yaroslav Fedevych: Cuouka
in package c shrimp rendering compact-dick
Dmitry Khaleev: Cho
The drivers?
Yaroslav Fedevych: Fuck, the music is so dumb that its free appendix to shrimp is given
The drivers are five :)

Announcement of Amurino
It requires a person with steel nerves and a stable psyche. It has its own light tank. Paul is not important. A worthy reward.
A light tank?

She approached a wide intersection and, without calculating the force, began to cross it on a flashing green. Just in the middle of the intersection the yellow was already burning and I finished crossing into the deep red. Not right? It is..."

and...

Well, I will tell you in secret that the blinking green allows entry to the crossroads, the yellow entry to the crossroads is forbidden, but if you need to apply emergency braking to stop before the crossroads, then the yellow can be entered. And most importantly - if you have already gone to the intersection, then leave it in any direction you can and on the red lighting signal. And everyone is obliged not to start the movement until you leave the crossroads.

And haishniks love to catch on the banal ignorance of traffic rules and do the right thing.

So learn the rules, observe them and you won't have to get upset again. Good luck on the roads.

The stage comrades.
The wife puts her daughter in the room, I drive in the kitchen and here I remember that there were small black bats in my kitchen in a wardrobe with cereals. There is no rescue. Having stunned, I learned that these occupants are passionate as they do not like garlic, bright light, and for some reason metal nails in pots with crops - well, naturally blood-drinkers. I think I’ll be happy to show you who Van Helsing is. Conducting a local cleaning of the closet, I touch a bowl of flour, it is spread on me, on the floor, on the table... I think of the mouth, then I will take it off. I dig everything, get a head of garlic, disassemble, I think how would they be so illuminated? And here I remember that I have an ultraviolet lamp at home, which is for the drying of acrylic nails (photopolymer clichés I candle in it). I turn on the lamp and light up the closet.
And now the picture with oil: the wife goes out to the kitchen, from the columns aphex twins, and I am in cowards, all in flour, garlic scattered throughout the table, a candle with a nail dryer in a cabinet with cereals, a bump under my nose "All get out of the darkness shit!!!", "I will make you a thermonuclear shit, the suckers are terrible", "The closet is for the crops!"... It seems she went to call me for an emergency out of foolishness.

XXX: Do you have this scarf?
The phone is not for every day.
You need to take it in your bag and get a movie to watch.
xxx: and the fact that he still knows how to call - it's just a developer's mistake, a bug left from the previous version

My sister and I went for a walk in another city. My aunt is forty. During a walk, her husband called. An epic phrase at the end of the conversation:
“Well, find something to do at home, or I’ll have to jump off the tank.

About a year ago, I moved to the most peaceful area of my city. In the area are very popular Priors, nine and other delights of the Russian automotive industry with a deaf toning and huge stickers Slavyan on the rear glasses. At first I noticed them, but then they noticed so much that I became accustomed to them, as to something ordinary.
And here one day I go to myself, thinking of something of my own, as suddenly I see a car with a sticker on the rear glass: BRITANS. Two seconds of full stunt. "What is his mother, the British?“" it was in my head. Then my gaze slowly catches the phone number just below the main inscription. At this point, I realized that they were cats.

Why do thin girls rarely wear leggings?

Why do slim girls not work as conductors?

xxx: forging in the nose is a game that is always with you!

The "Professional Translation"
1st Discovery, the announcement of the program on Mars, the word terraforming translates as "birthing terror".
2nd The phrase "fire in the hole", just as it was not covered, but by the same discovery translated as "fire in the hole"!

I’m already afraid to see something in translation, especially if I don’t know the original language.

Can you tell me how to go to the library?
— C:\WINDOWS\system\SYSTEM.dll

and
So I want to cook dinner and wait for you. ?
Hmdllr
Prepare and wait.
Hmdllr
I don’t need it ? ?

to you:

here here :

I go to the mail to get a translation.
and empty. and quiet. A very polite operator. The shock.

This is not the first such quote. What is it? The marketers of the Russian Post held a seminar on viral advertising.

You won't believe - we just have exit checks, it is appropriate to brush your teeth, be sure to say goodbye and offer to golden the pen... sorre, buy a envelope or a lottery. Everything will go by, don’t go away.

Prohibition of ballets and heels in the Customs Union
XXX: I did not understand. How did he link in one category of boys and ballet / cables?
Were you in the army? No is? I was not there, who knows what awaits us there.
What does high heels have to do with? :D
YYYY :
<<< xxx: <<< In many ways and because of this in 2014 took place the first appeal of young men in the Russian Armed Forces with flat foot, since without this disease to find a recruiter, as the MP noted, is practically impossible.
XXX I am in contact.
YYYY :
<<< xxx: <<< high heels something to do with? :D
<<< yyy: <<< who knows what awaits us there
Yyy: Per something changed in the army in 2014
YYY: Proposal to ban deputies
xxx: I support
XXX: Where to send documents?