My wife does not burn:
We had sex with you in our dreams today. It was so wonderful, as if I knew it!
Was it exactly me in my dream?
You are, you are. I was very surprised that you...

Probably you call your mother an old lady, and your grandmother a half-dead, but they are not plebees. And we will call you brainless and don’t think of being offended.

Truth must be handled carefully, like a coat. Not to throw it into your face like a wet towel by Mark Twain

Ekaterina
Do you have a cat to castrate?
Galina
The cat is castrated.
Ekaterina
Tell me how he endured the drug and how long did he heal? We have a castration tomorrow, I'm experiencing no measure.
Galina
Did I not tell you? :) He was like a man after a boy.
At first, under anesthesia, they were terrible, I was scared, he was very like a dead man, his mouth opened, his eyes half drowned, chewed.
I laid it on the couch, I lay next to it, reading, waiting for it to shrink.
Somewhere another hour he prodrug, then woke up, immediately tried to act and think, slipped from the couch, immediately blew, a lot and a scandal, scared that he blew, jumped a meter up and off, popped to the nails, but since under the scarf dumb was swallowed with his legs at the foot of the chair, impressed in it with a moustache ))) then somewhat one foot hit the foot, drunk walk broke into the corridor, adds to the carpet, slipped on it, blew up, fell asleep and fell asleep in another hour-two and then was already quite OK )
Where we watched for 24 hours so that he did not slip out the missing, and so everything, nothing like that.)
Ekaterina
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh))
Galina
And also he did not give up without a fight, reigned and drowned all the doctors.))))
Ekaterina
I hear the fun)

A generation has grown...
– – – – –
In the smoking room of the tech support of the Internet provider, a guy and a girl talk:
Q: So who would you like to be of the Avengers?
MM: Probably the Iron Man.
Q: Oh, funny... imagine - you fly yourself, you fly, and then you crave - and ip 169, and what?
Q: You will have to call us)Which address are you at?What do you mean falling?Sorry, this equipment is not recommended by our company))
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I personally, from Avengers, always wanted to be a Gypsy...

Not an anecdote, not a quote, not funny, and not to read to anyone at all.
Just sadness and sadness.
During the hourly wait at the GIBDD in Moscow, on the Vešných Vodách, two employees were counted in shape, with pistols, starters, and chases: one came by the wheel, catching the ground under his feet, barely adding to the passageway, the other, on the contrary, crawling (apparently from heavy labor routines, and not once from excess alcohol in the blood, as you might think)... fell on the driver’s seat of a personal car, and he drove away... home probably.

And these people are forbidding me to knock in my nose?! to

For the sake of healthy food. I remember having to see a piece of television show about allergies by chance. The lady from the screen looks sad, and says that her child has constant allergies, it is completely unclear what. After all, she feeds him only with exclusively natural products, even instead of sweets and cakes only useful dried fruits. And it shows a bowl with shop painted socks, those bright, bright colors that only in the darkness do not shine, everyone has seen them for sure. And after all, none of the infection in the television at the whisk was twisted, everyone just left and tossed their tongues. What exactly is allergy? Very strange

We came with a friend to the mail, he had to take the book... Well, that they three people before him served an hour - in order of things. But in the process, a girl enters, asking for packaging boxes. Her mail worker answers, saying, there is no package - soon they will be brought... The girl gets bored and leaves. After 5 minutes, he returns, and asks: “I’ve been here several times, and they’re all gone. Tell me, soon it will be today or tomorrow?..." The post worker: "Yes, they have not been there for five months! And we were told to answer "We will soon bring"".

Full of Facebookspam*
and----
yyu: Funny, Google Translate translates "Expendables" (Unstoppable) as "Consumables"
and----
Because this is how it is translated, and the "unstoppable" is another of our super-brain translators, who hailed the diametrically opposite meaning in the title of the film.

by Dublé:
I immediately encountered an employee in the corridor, on the machine I say to her:
Good morning!
She said, “That’s the day now.
I: Oh, right... Tuesday is a tough day.
Today is Wednesday O_O

It was uncomfortable...

News in Belarusian:
In the Luninetsk district, the forest worker, being in a drunk state, bypassed the forest land on the subordinate territory, fell face to face in the ants and fell asleep.

According to the chief physician, the injured man, born in 1955, was taken by an ambulance brigade to the central district hospital with an allergic reaction to insect bites and placed in the resuscitation unit.

Another doctor of the hospital did not give detailed information, limiting himself to the indicative: "It was the world day of ants eaters. After drinking the nutritious juice from the trees, they decided to eat ants. Not all ants like it – they picked up and bit the ants-eater.”

Naturophiles (I am about foods if someone suddenly thought) why are they angry? Because children refuse to eat their ugliness. The process goes with tears, threats, scandals, insults. The culprits, of course, are unconscious relatives, who dared once to serve something really delicious, and now the child cries not carrots, but a kidney surprise. Children in the trouble of their due hypocrisy have not yet worked out to praise the tasteless cake only because their mom or grandmother tried and bothered with "natural" homemade baking, they will honestly say "better buy a normal cake", as if adults did not oppress them for it.

To the bathroom you have to go with a bodyguard, and the one who goes to the bathroom with another man is no longer heterosexual.

Bravo to you guy! Another homosiatine plant has been found - this is the film "Ironia of fate, or with light steam!"

She tried to force herself to work at the dacha all day. without a result. I'm probably from the Greyhoes - we don't sow.

Why if I am asked to cook food, clean up in the apartment or shave a shirt, I can handle it (and most girls can handle it), and if a man is asked to shave the gardens, assemble the closet, or eliminate a leak in the umbrella, then immediately starts "I am not a sanitary, I am not a collector"?

xxx: Mother came, she says, found my old children’s pearls recorded. Somewhere at four o’clock (that is, the year 1984-th approximately) I said without apology: “Ukraine must be Western.”

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

When cats too obsessively break into the closed door of the bedroom, I usually scare them away with a flower sprayer. Now, when on the street +35, I think they specifically come for a cold shower.

Dear number 17423, I know, you, as an egoist, will not believe and even listen, but I very much did not like the situation, when in the almost 30 degrees of heat in the bus entered the old lady dressed by the weather and closed the lounge, near which she stood, not deciding to sit somewhere in front. It was ruthless on her part, because she was very sweaty, very, very sweaty. Yes, we, those who are always hot, are not people and we have no rights. Enjoy it. Old women get frozen and almost always don’t wash because they think they don’t need to. And I will open the fork and the lock and open them until death stops me, because in the heat and without air I will die.

Stay simply:
It is funny.
==== is
Why if I am asked to cook food, clean up in the apartment or shave a shirt, I can handle it (and most girls can handle it), and if a man is asked to shave the gardens, assemble the closet, or eliminate a leak in the umbrella, then immediately starts "I am not a sanitary, I am not a collector"?
==== is
You should not get married to beautiful guys, for example, who have a work specialty, not an office worker.
– – – – –
I am an office worker. Are you still demanding from me borsches, and am I preparing them? Getting married to a cook and doing business.

All ice cream sticks taste the same.

Prehistory: Water was poured on the laptop and now the keyboard lives its life and prints what it wants.
Darel: Kmax to splash out
Darel: Darkness under popmao
Daredevil: from one side
Darel: Kmax you may jamming with Leo
Darel: Maudilma Kosorukiy***
I may remember that word.
Christoph: sounds beautiful
Christoph: Maudilma
There is something Brazilian in it.