bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121693
 12.12.2015
From the discussion of the process of making bragi.

XX: I instead of rubber gloves on the throat of the bottle gangdon stretched )))
UUU: if taken with the strawberries - there will be a light smell that takes us to the fields of Provence.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №121692
 12.12.2015
Modern news agency websites resemble adult websites from the 1990s. There is almost no content, only cross-links.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121691
 12.12.2015
I want to play a dinosaur simulator!
YYY: And I’m really looking forward to playing a sleep simulator with a presence effect right now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121690
 12.12.2015
The average mosquito does not engage in mountain climbing, it has enough food that lives on the lower floors.

They eat until midnight.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121689
 12.12.2015
Even a tiger can live with a goat. And some grandmothers, you see, can’t.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №121688
 12.12.2015
The story of the bright memory of my friend, ambulance doctor Alexei Nikolaevich.
They come with the caregiver on the challenge, an elderly woman, a strong heartbeat, very bad, suffocates. (I’m not a doctor, so I’m telling according to my understanding of medical aspects.)
Indeed, the grandmother is suffocating, swelling has already gone, severe tachycardia. The patient had a cardiostimulator.
And then Lecha says to the field sheriff: (for example) 2 cubes of such a medicine and 2 cubes of such a medicine, quickly!
Feldscher replied: “Doctor, your mom, this is pure poison!” Grandma is out!
Stop it off, do as I said happier!
I don’t want to go to court, do it yourself.
The doctor said, the doctor did. He put a clean thermostat on the old lady’s vein.
The grandmother began to die, the swelling fell asleep, the heart stopped, and what? is right! A cardio stimulator. Started the heart and voila - in a couple of minutes, the grandmother was like nothing in the village and froze, oh, something was with me?
This case was then handled by the highest instances and the doctor was praised.
I think it was genius.

I asked him once, “Lesh, how many people have you saved?”
“Six,” he smoked and squeezed, he replied. (This is, for a moment, a man who has gone off 10 years on an ambulance)
How are six? I shake my eyes, you save people every day!
It’s my job, and to judge honestly, it’s not salvation. These six people had to drive hard.

Thanks to these doctors.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №121687
 12.12.2015
In the fight against corruption in Russia you need to allocate not money, but ammunition.
As it is done in China...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121686
 12.12.2015
No, I am not a hanja and I do not treat drinking beer with indulgence, rather with active support, but, fucking, in the subway! Fuck the hunt! It would be okay... And what to expect from this man? You can throw anything out! I don’t like the eleventh. Whatever it is! I went back to the station earlier. But I already decided that if there was a girl, we would call her Donna! How is it? This is how alcohol, you can say, destroyed my personal life. Very instructive story.

Definitely a teaching story! The guy was lucky not to contact the fan of the eleventh doctor, which is called - miraculously escaped the blow of fate!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121685
 12.12.2015
Every morning near the metro Dynamo in Nerezinovsk gathers a bunch of pigeons and some pest feeds them with wheat. Then the pigeons are planted on the pipes straight over people rushing to work. What happens next, I think it makes no sense to say. This is the apogee of terrorist activity.
Tyler Durden would be pleased.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121684
 12.12.2015
I sit with a colleague in the office, she receives a SMS on the phone, then her monologue:
Q: It’s who else writes... I’m married.
In three seconds:
Hm... cute

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121683
 12.12.2015
I have never seen a refrigerator cooked in Lithuania.
So refrigerators and accidents fall less often.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121682
 12.12.2015
XXX: She still smokes
Yyy: The female godmother begins to eat her partner during sex. And you say "smoking"....

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121681
 12.12.2015
I complain to my parents on the phone, I say tired, I want to go to the sea.
Mother: Come to me! There are two seas here!
and Oga. Karskoye and the Sea of Laptev.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121680
 12.12.2015
and ncix:
The problem is that it is impossible to say exactly whether a quantum computer works or not :)
by Raegdan:
Heisenberg’s quantum computer: If we know it works, we don’t know it doesn’t work, and vice versa.

Schrödinger’s quantum computer works and doesn’t work at the same time until we decide to check whether it still works. If it works - it will no longer be turned off; if it does not work - you can safely throw it out, because. He will never earn again.

Einstein’s quantum computer: doesn’t work, won’t work, and generally (shows language) you’ll build it – because God doesn’t play on a quantum computer!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121679
 12.12.2015
Xxx
That is, you are calling for ignoring the current legislation and guided by the phrase the purpose justifies the means??? Prospects are impressive.

Zzz
Yes is. This is how all successful reforms have taken place in all successful countries. Legislation was adapted to the right goals, and not the goals were preserved in favor of medieval marasmatic legislation, which did not meet the realities.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121678
 12.12.2015
Today, one of our firefighting technicians, a bearded forty-year-old Polish, approaches the screen, throws a careless glance at the monitor (there is a bluescreen) and says:
"aaaa, this is RAID Controller cuts."
I am standing in a@we, he looks at me and adds: "In this matter I understand much better than in women" :-D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121677
 12.12.2015
XXX: I’m only 29, and I often don’t understand where this fucking world is going. Soon I’ll be sitting on the bench.
YYY: Welcome to the old pearls ;)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121676
 12.12.2015
Man, what are you sitting for?
for the rape. And you?
He denied electricity in Yalta.
Is this how the earth carries you?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121675
 12.12.2015
Pinochet: Connect the Ural guitar, play 3 chords and launch a hidden renner game with Moskovich 2141, which is chased by Ikarus.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121674
 12.12.2015
Exit the comfort zone is the only way to self-development.
YYY: Did you bump with the bombs again?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna