bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129239
 09.06.2016
I would like to have another programmer.
If anything, it is me.
YYY: You don’t have any basic knowledge of Python.
Well, yes, but I can always say something clever with a smart look. I am also guiding you.
Yyy: Class, now I have a boss and a manager.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129238
 09.06.2016
Consequently :
to this:
The glass is always full. All space not occupied by other objects is occupied by dark matter (22% of the composition of the universe) and dark energy (74%). And in general, emptiness as such does not exist because the whole space (including the subatomic) is occupied by particles and energy.

"It is exactly the opposite.
Matter, as such, is merely a temporary surge of energy in a void (not in a vacuum, but in something more profound) with the formation of temporary matter (in general, matter is pure energy, fluctuating at a high frequency, which is why we consider it matter).
All matter will eventually disappear (entropy).
So there is an emptiness, and the glass is only temporarily filled, and even half, with energy fluctuating at high frequencies.

The glass doesn’t exist, because it’s the same burst of energy ;)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129237
 09.06.2016
I see the difference of generations today.

Not prosperous area, TC, knife department. The long-haired guy (P) in the barracks and coats with interest considers the impressive size of the hammer, next to the uncle (D) in a suit and with a tie, fifty years of age with a tail.

D (protective tone, pointing to the knife): From five to twenty years.
P: But he is alive.

Uncle shrugged and retreated.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №129236
 09.06.2016
and Oz! Keep the fools on your list who didn’t do anything: Newton (leaning under an apple), Archimedes (balding in the bathroom). Whenever I take a history textbook from my son, another man will take ten docks.
.........
Mendeleev in general!

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129235
 09.06.2016
>>>ZZZ: and that there is no sex sport?

In German there is an idiom of Matrazensport.

By the way, this language at closer consideration is not so dry and dull.

Z.B
Breakfast - Frühstück
Lunch in the morning – Frühsport (frushport)
Early morning sickness — Frühschnaps

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129234
 09.06.2016
The Duma adopted in the third reading a bill that obliges Russians to report to the authorities about marriages and divorces concluded abroad, as well as the birth of children abroad.

And forgive me, why?
For example, I want to be a law-obedient girl and I will write to you that I am married to my German boyfriend. What will you do with this information if you do not allow such marriages?

Accordingly, I have rotated your law on the Demon Hero. Do not forget to write down the fines for non-notification.

The law demonstrates the competence of the Russian authorities.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129233
 09.06.2016
A six-year-old sister (c) talks to her parents (r):
Q: When will you repair my room?
R: Well, you go with your grandmother, we will do it.
C: Only you put my pillow on the floor.
R is?? to
C: Well if I faint from such beauty that my head does not hit me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129232
 09.06.2016
Olya Deep: Yes, I explain to them all the time that this is not a creative pseudonym, but the name HDD

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №129231
 09.06.2016
Comments on Picabus:

XXX: I was like, riding on a board, landing from a bigger, landing on my head. I got up, I felt something wrong, I slipped down the slope... I understand that I don’t remember anything and wild panic, I run to my friends and talk, I hit my head, I don’t remember anything... Even when I found myself here... I was lucky in the hospital right away. The result was a traumatic brain shock, with short-term memory loss. I remembered five minutes and immediately forgot. They brought me home and I called my parents 24 times in 3 hours and said I lost my memory. And about the same number of friends called to ask what happened to me...It was wildly scary, in the hospital I ran into every office and said I lost memory, help me...But they said that it wasn’t scary, said it will pass until tomorrow...Friends calmed down and began to tell me the same joke, I laughed 5 minutes passed, I forgot, they give it again...and then 8 say...The next day it really went...I remembered everything and didn’t forget, except those few hours that I was in the hospital and on the way home.



YYY: You’re writing this comment for the eighth time now.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129230
 09.06.2016
Is it Saloon? Only there in one “trade hall” of 6 square meters.
Skin, honey, shit and nails
Clocks, clocks and bullets.
............
What a strange range in your store – tombs, drums, guns...
Don’t tell me. Yesterday they bought a drum, yesterday a gun, and today a tomb.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №129229
 09.06.2016
Once I had to come back from a nightclub walking through the city floor. All the money walked, time 4 in the morning, darkness and rain. He walked along an empty road, all prodrug.

And here stops a simple old foreigner. There is an elderly couple. They say sit down. I sat down and warm up. On empty roads in 20 minutes. My grandfather said, 200 rubles with you. I was a little unexpected of such a turn and began to feel the content of the empty pockets, and then I say: I have no penny. Here the grandmother began to be upset: that we carried you, gasoline was spent and you were a barrel, the elderly regretted, and in general the man could not sit in the car without money. What I said that you offered me to throw... Here my grandfather struck that everybody understands that it is necessary to pay for travel. Take off your clock or jacket.

During this burst, I sold the balls in my pockets, and here in the inner right pocket of the jacket, where I almost never put anything, a piece of paper was spotted. Having delivered it in the light of the lamp, I saw 500 rubles of a bank of hooks, which were lying there from a friend's wedding, they were distributed for the performance of competitions, and then they could participate in auctions with cake, etc. I was probably not a very active participant and they remained in the pocket.

I shouted joyfully like Archimedes, only in Russian, and passed it on to the elders. The grandmother pulled out the paper and looked at it first, then angrily at me, shouted: don't pretend, bad actress of you, because you knew about her, that, the conscience tortured? And waiting for the answer, I got somewhere 300 rubles and gave it to me. Take and chew the seat. - As you say, I cut off, and after taking the surrender dissolved in the darkness of the courtyards. The world is not without good people.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129228
 09.06.2016
XXX> And the fairy will be? The dining, for example?
yyy> will be. And the other mythical characters: sleep, sex and adequacy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129227
 09.06.2016
At night, people sleep quietly. Probably they are thinking something bad.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129226
 09.06.2016
"And now put in your precious window the setting "hide the taskbar" and find me at least one player in which you can put the video to pause from full-screen mode without using hookies";

I don’t know where the discussion started, but:
Media Player Classic - double click - turn off/off full-screen mode, single click - pause,
VLC - double click - full-screen mode, pause (in full-screen mode) - in the pop-up panel or in the context menu.
The default windows media player (if anyone is using it at all) is similar to VLC.
You need a panel of tasks and wishes for this - I can't understand more.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129225
 09.06.2016
It is cold at work, not a month, we do not take off the jacket. At lunch, after heating up with tea, I ask for boredom because of the employee's cooking magazine to polish. I open, big title "The best summer dishes. Cold soups." Brr, to the hell, to the hell...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129224
 09.06.2016
to this.

On the first day, turn on a catamaran with food and drown a bag of carcass.

I wonder if one of the participants has replaced a bag?
Please clarify, it matters to me.

In this case, in the campaign, they remained without meat at all and ate the march all the dirty all the march, even the paek was cut off. Another question is what a “smart” person thought of putting all the food in one catamaran, rather than evenly distributing it between the participants.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129223
 09.06.2016
I thought I bought a spring coat, but it turned out to be a summer coat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129222
 09.06.2016
Thank you, dear man, for the quote from "Doctor Aybolit"! In my head these words read the voice of Nikolai Litvinov, like on a plate in childhood.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129221
 09.06.2016
xxx: I now imagine that this guy with the name Chernobyl is actually walking in a cage, with a spear in his hand and a folded beard
YYY: the worn beard
YYYY: and the bearer is the one who does not bear.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129220
 09.06.2016
The billionaire will be the one who will come up with a damper for gasoline and lawns.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna