I don’t want to drink anymore.
Penelope: I too
A wonderful toast!

Users will go crazy trying to master such a complex function, especially since it doesn’t work.

Children, your mother’s birthday. Let’s jump and shout "ura", it will be a celebration!
Mom: – Don’t eat, let’s get the kids to sit down and be quiet. Then I will have a party!

If in the advertisement of Coca-Cola you at least once instead of "To a bright summer with your hand" hear "Doyarka Valletta...", then it is forever :(

From the discussion of the news about the fall of the rocket "Proton-M"

xxx:but, judging by the resonance, the rocket did not fall on Baikonur but directly into the Internet...

The factory newspaper came to the eye in the universe: on the last page of the photo Anatoly Wasserman smiled surrounded by satisfied factory workers, with some kind of text of the article and a brilliant headline: "Wasserman's reaction was positive."
Wasserman's reaction is an express test for syphilis.

Don’t ask how it happened: Male elephants also exploit their reproductive organs for purposes far from the intimate sphere. For example, being in an uncomfortable or unstable position, an elephant can support himself with a penis, using it as a spare leg. Or the penis can act as a fly-biker and disperse annoying insects. If an elephant has a stomach, he will scratch his penis to scratch it.

From comments from the video about the Tuning Lada Grant:

xxx: Well, this is what it should look like when it comes out the conveyor...

yyy: She doesn’t have to go out of the conveyor at all!!! to

Here you are funny about Proton, and I am at work, where they produce this scratched first step, the whole day walk the fsbshniki and create a large row in the dining room :'(

True jazz lovers never say they didn’t like something. They say they did not understand him.

DarkBlond: it turns out that the ancient Romans XL was smaller than L

To the naval grouping GLONASS was added a land-based...

The more money, the more beautiful, unnecessary things.

For centuries, the Germans have been famous for their discipline and punctuality. This difference from other cultures is best illustrated by the following case. End of the 90s of the 20th century. The Hamburg English Theatre. All the actors are British and American, the audience is German. In the course of the action, one of the American actors, going on stage, tightly covers behind the butaphore door. This moment so upset one lady from the auditorium that she went out on stage and tightly closed the door, disrupting the stormy and prolonged applause that turned into an ovation.

As the English-speaking actors themselves later said, it is good that Shakespeare did not survive this day - it was the longest ovation in the history of the English theatre in Hamburg.

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Recently, in one of the non-state universities in Moscow, a teacher of Chinese was arrested for teaching the language he invented for six years.

Article on AG: "Fighting champion arrested for fighting"

The commentary:
Well, this is not new: "I played the Duma and killed eight people" and so on. Here we see the development of the topic and we can expect another wave of hot news. "The Tetris champion hit his neighbor with bricks". "The Sims 2 champion drowned a competitor in the pool". "The Solitaire Champion provoked bloody clashes between four ladies". Champion of Angry Birds broke a ball window in the director's office, but since the attacker was also the champion of Assassin's Creed, he managed to escape on the roofs.

Comments on Google Glass

XXX: We have few psychics on the streets who talk out loud to themselves, so there will still be psychics who will swallow their hands and touch the hallucinations that are visible only to him! And also women will start to kick and it will be justified that he has a gadget that shows...

YYY: And good yet, if women, then you know...

XXX: Do you point out that he can steal the wallet? The nightmare!! to

New employee: I don’t need programmers. I don’t want to boast, but thank God I’m good at programming. For example, I can easily assemble the processor.

xxx: how in Excel to stretch the formula over the entire length of the column?
Select a cell with a formula
Tagged: Ctrl-C
YYY: left
CTRL down
YYY: to the right
Shift-Ctrl up
by CTRL-V
...
YYY: How did it work?
If you’re about fatalities in the style of Excel, then yes :)

For the first time, I experienced a wonderful feeling of love while still in kindergarten. She gave me an orange and won my heart forever. How about Khashoggi? Xenia Valerievna of course. An educator anyway.

by Denisslavin