bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №83605
 01.07.2013
A game to guess the characters:

What was the name of Queen?
I do not remember!
He has a name like Kruger.
And Freddy?
The name is similar to the name of such a small planet.
And Freddie Pluto?

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83604
 01.07.2013
I realized now that the category of employees who constantly live freely at work, constantly smoke/drink tea/discuss something – are not those people who are organized so powerful themselves that everything goes well. These are people of care whom no one notices at all, people who do nothing at all. But I complexed and thought I was working badly. To young specialists: if there is an eternally restless, empty handdoon at work - don't pay attention - it's just a thief. (This does not apply to admin)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83603
 01.07.2013
About the cars:
I have died once in my life.
Er: not lying - 2 times
Er: One time because the fool was young, and the second time because he was just a fool.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №83602
 01.07.2013
From social networks:

Interesting facts about human capacity.

From 6 to 7 am - the "window", when long-term memory works best, all the information received in this interval is easily absorbed.
From 8 to 9, logical thinking is included, this is the most suitable time for any activity associated - at the same time - with memorization and analytics.
...

Comment: I really remember the damn in public transport from the morning.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83601
 01.07.2013
As I walked past the school, I heard a conversation from the younger classes:
Masha broke her beard.
I have a 2nd :)

The trolls are growing =)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83600
 01.07.2013
Next to the cigarette.
Bond, p a u z a, red Bond.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №83599
 01.07.2013
I tell you, he is a cyborg. And the Chinese!
Where do these conclusions come from?
- From it constantly all sorts of screws, bolts, hooks and scissors will rise. Really, wherever you sit, at least one detail after it can be found! and :)
No fear, it will collapse before the uprising. and :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83598
 01.07.2013
Nizhnevartovsk, on the street +5, it rains, the sky is tightly stretched by clouds. The phrase heard in the store:
"Well, a third of the summer has already overwintered".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83597
 01.07.2013
Now you won’t say to a man “I went to the ass” or “I went to the fuck” – propaganda of homosexuality, bluff!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83596
 01.07.2013
Do you have lesbian friends?
I have no more friends. What are they for me? You can go with friends.
Oh the evil.
and evil. When You Can't Go

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83595
 01.07.2013
In the guests (All for 25), in the neighboring room, a friend plays with a cat, while hearing forgotten, but painfully familiar sounds.
I scream in the room – what are you throwing up there?!))
After a long pause, the answer is: It is a dead language, no one speaks on it!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №83594
 01.07.2013
Q: What are you doing in the cakes?
WOW: I drink, I watch a lady break out of primitivity)
HH: It’s probably the most busy there. And not only the ladies, the gentlemen also show their inner. Sometimes literally

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №83593
 01.07.2013
As you call the magician, he will also call you magician.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83592
 01.07.2013
You think, and because of this I develop a complex of inferiority!

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83591
 01.07.2013
Suddenly, after work, a girlfriend invited me to my birthday. There were two other friends there. So, while they were trembling in the kitchen about their female, I cleaned up their potatoes and roasted three bowl fry potatoes, because none of them knew how to cook it. With a lot of respect and compliments.)

It was the funniest birthday I’ve ever visited.

____________________

This is, fucking, the most unexpected ending of the story - three positive-minded freelancers to roast a fried potato.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83590
 01.07.2013
I was in the store today.
Q: Do you know what the name is now?
YYY: No
XX: Do you know what a girl is? Sweetened, but not sweet
XXX: This is
XXX: She Calls the Guard
YYY : :D
YYY: the norm
XXX: Kefir will soon be renamed Svatofir
Only if it is sacred. :D
XXX: The Creature in Christ
XXX: Meat at Jesus

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83589
 01.07.2013
Today I went to the office to find the missing baggage. There sat and scandalized a aunt, as it became clear from her speech, she is a deputy of the local spill of one of our regions (which is important) and her garage disappeared. Lulzov delivered her angry scream on a young girl - an employee trying to help her: who is responsible for anything in this country!!!??? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83588
 01.07.2013
Xxx: 10 years ago, when I was playing dendy late in the evening, my parents came and pulled out the food block, saying, “You have to get up early at school.”
Yesterday, I’m sitting in the kitchen, playing MacBook in a Dendi emulator, using the iPhone as a joystick, a girl comes in, closes the MacBook with the words: “You’re hot, you have to get up early at work.”
Xxx: What doesn’t change in this life.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83587
 01.07.2013
<ow> then kissed in the bone, well, on which the jeans hang
<x> mm
<wow> then passed the left hand over the hip from the bottom up, on the outside, to the liver
<chh> in the hip? to the liver?
< wow> well I can! Do not interfere!
Okay, my liver is wet and smells of me!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83586
 01.07.2013
So much of the mysterious mystically wizardly and, at the same time, erotic gave rise in the head heard from Olya the phrase "you need to remove the cowards, or it can rain again!" ... for those a few dozen seconds, until it became clear that it was just about drying out the underwear in the yard.ngcashi and

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