bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №32578
 06.07.2010
<Lukas> He was in the military committee – registered in connection with the change of place of residence.

<Lukas> In front of me a Uzbek without education was tortured – “What specialty to write? What can you? Put a brick? Uzbek chose to mix concrete.

<Lukas> It is my turn. My specialty in the military ticket is written "physicist". Aunt asks like an Uzbek, “What do you know?” I say, “I can participate in the development and production of nuclear weapons.” She looked me in the eyes and wrote something on a card.

<Lukas> I think – I will also use Uzbek concrete in case of mobilization

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №32577
 06.07.2010
The xxx:
I put Ubuntu here from boredom.
YYYY :
O_0
The xxx:
Funny thing, if you drive it into the drive and reboot it - he will not ask anything, just fuck and you are already sitting in the Ubuntu, and she is so stealthy - " and let me put on the hard";;
YYYY :
=) is

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №32576
 06.07.2010
XXX: The tea is over.
I just finished my shirt, Blink.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №32575
 06.07.2010
dias (shinigami) (16:01:07 5/07/2010)
Cut your hand silently?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №32574
 06.07.2010
A sandwich soaked with black caviar never falls with oil down.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №32573
 06.07.2010
I went to Peter for a couple of days. All day walked, ride a boat, remembered student youth. My wife saw the sign.
"Toilet" and wished to go there, and we got 5000 rubles in cash. One paper and one dollar (I always have one in my wallet). Five things to change for the toilet... as if not that and I give my wife 1 dollar. Wife says...-What money, we are not in Moscow, it is Peter and the toilets here are free.
“Well... I said I and my wife went across the road toward the toilet.
I was waiting for my wife to read the exchange rates at the exchange bucket. The course was
of 29 rubles. Commission of 30 rubles. I whispered with my uncle in the window.
The wife returns... – You were right, Peter also has toilets for the grandmothers.
Take a dollar.
I give a dollar, the wife notices the exchange of currency, puts a bill there, the cashier (the young man did not fail) says... - The woman with you is still a ruble.
“Thank you,” said the cashier, “we’re now in calculation.
I barely contain laughter, says your praised Peter.
The wife had eyes like the cat of Shrek, until the booth came out with tears in the eyes of laughter the cashier and gave his wife 30 rubles.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №32572
 06.07.2010
A man stands in front of the maternity house, shaking his head. I scream to a woman in the window:
and Masha! Well who?! to
The Germans! Four is zero! I almost gave birth!

Costan

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №32571
 06.07.2010
HH: How did it all go?? to
WOW: He passionately threw me onto the bed...but he failed.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №32570
 06.07.2010
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY I have it all.
Yyy even perforator
xxx oooo
XXX is like that.
yyy like powerful 3x speed perforators?=))
xxx ha ha
xxx got me a photo of my perforator

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №32569
 06.07.2010
He went out of the store and rattled. In general, the point is that in the store there is a bill paying machine and there is paying a vow, so there are two girls standing with him and paying a vov account, after paying one another says "And you do it?" and the second in response to her: "Well, he promised me that if I pay, then tomorrow we will go on a date..."

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №32568
 06.07.2010
Denisdnk> I bought a pharmacy box, there is a sticker - a surprise inside... went on - opened, shattered by curiosity, and there... a tiff, and why is it to me?! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №32567
 06.07.2010
xxh: at our work, the bosses invented a new reason for dismissal - reduction on their own wishes

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №32566
 06.07.2010
Shooter: Can I ask you a question?
Ann: What one?
When will we go to the cinema?
Ann: cannot

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №32565
 06.07.2010
Hi, I love you ?
Go to Fuck!
Sorry for the window mistake.)
WOW: So I love you!
Q: Can we get married?
Go to Fuck!
I hope you’re wrong through the window again!!!! to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №32564
 06.07.2010
9 is :
The girls were overwhelmed! The dress only hides the navel. Impossible to walk in the center.
The Queen:
Do not look at them)
Look at the road.
9 is :
Do you have a mouse?
The Queen:
Rats are three.
9 is :
Do you often look at them when they are in a cage?
The Queen:
All the time I’m at home)
9 is :
Next time they get stuck, don’t look at them! Look at the cage.
Snow Queen:
I look at my own rats, not someone else’s.
9 is :
Fuck, I have nothing to object.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №32563
 06.07.2010
Talk to a friend a week after a thunderstorm.

Toha: I smoked so much in the red that I sat for two hours in the bathroom, watching the drum in the washing machine. And I was extremely frightened, only a few days later to realize that the machine did not work and that washing clothes at such an event is idiotic!

I: That... The Red doesn’t have a washing machine.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №32562
 06.07.2010
Antonina (18:12:20 5/07/2010)
Where can I get a certificate from a narcological and psychoneurological clinic?

Laughing (18:14:33 5/07/2010)
You will not believe...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №32561
 06.07.2010
From the story *

Well, so, I was immersed in the beetle, cast, clear thing, taken. And the castle is so bad, the cartridge is small, even my fingers do not get there completely.

So we go, we go. And then there is a full horror on the whole car: "Crazy!! I cannot take it off!and "

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №32560
 06.07.2010
Diman (15:10:14 5/07/2010)
was at the dentist.. she has a new assistant only after the honeycomb nothing so
Diaman (15:10:31 5/07/2010)
But something did not grow.
Diaman (15:13:02 5/07/2010)
like when she held a roll of saliva in my mouth, not noticeably, and when I got up, she put me on the chest))
Doc (15:14:02 5/07/2010)
Did you hope she said she sucked out just wonderfully?
Doc (15:14:08 5/07/2010)
Meaning of mouth.
Diaman (15:14:16 5/07/2010)
I wanted to but not comfortable with the dog.)
Diman (15:15:10 5/07/2010)
although in fact I wanted to say what to suck her still to study and study)) here before her Albert was)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №32559
 06.07.2010
Did you sell a car on foot? Where is she?

Super 8 - most of the car in the garage
Super 8 - a few more fragments lie on the turn from Leningrad
super8 - and very small remained in the body of the gazelle in which I pizzNoNoNoNoya for 90 kmh.

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