- Have you taken drugs, a crash?
What is?
I say, are you a stubborn man, shit?! to

For the sake of a slim stretched body, I am ready for everything except for training and proper nutrition.

The Russian whale.
Sleep my child. Sleep but don’t forget.
Stay away from the bed.
Otherwise, a terrible beast will come from the forest.
It will cause you serious bodily injury.

He will throw me out like a read book.
YYY: He doesn’t read books – he’ll remove you like a watched porn!

How to get under freebies?
I don’t know Mac.
Oh, sorry, I heard Jobs died from this.

XXX never ever. Because Apple has a policy, and it prohibits such things.
Fuck what a country. Even Apple has politics, and we have one shit.

I lost 300 rubles today.
Three hundred rubles?
Three hundred rubles?and :)
Oh yeah yeah :(
Zzzz: You are good.
Zzzz: that you delighted the old man, khe-khe :)
XXX: How you enjoy coughing
You will probably die soon.

The brainstorming is small children in the business class of the first morning flight.

I’m not going to scream a meaningless “Liberty” but something like “JGNGF-MNV2F-FSADG-34GED.” This will be the activation key for Windows 7 or Photoshop. And people during my torture will have time to stir a little more soft.
Fuck it! Wow, thank you very much!! I have been looking for him for a long time!!! to

At work, I read the status of my younger brother in contact: "Ura, I can squeeze with a cotton behind my back!" I immediately decided to repeat this feat on the concrete floor. I break my beard and break my front tooth. After providing all kinds of medical help, I call to complain to my mother:
I broke my front tooth.
You are not only a fool, you are also a fool.

Stupid ideas come to mind quickly and without a turn, like grandmothers in a clinic, and smart people come to stand behind the billboards for a long time.

From Habr:
Due to the lack of arguments, I suggest to immediately move to the morbid.

xxx - people yesterday met with such a girl, you hang out aaaa!!! to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX - and I'm about the same... tomorrow we're going to ride the baggage together))
YYY is super.
zzz - and I'm here shortly on the arena, I dropped the dk... it was really bad...I only have 2 pieces of A8 and he has a full set, prove the nub, right?
XXX - Yes, ZZZ does not go with us.

I ask my 10 year old sister:
Where do you want to work when you grow up?
In the pharmacy!
Why is?? to
There are always air conditioners.

I sit and watch a movie. My granddaughter is back 10 years old!!! From my girlfriend’s birthday. and further dialogue.
How did you walk?
and hello. is normal. It was fun.
What did you give Nate?
A thousand rubles.
A thousand rubles? Do you have such small gifts?
What to give a girl for 10 years?

What else can you give a girlfriend for 10 years?

I bought a new filler for the cat, washed his toilet, filled the filler. The cat sits and eats him. by Facepalm

I sit with a friend, she decided to find a guy through a dating site.
-Taaak, name - Julia,Rise - 178cm,weight - 58kg,parameters - the parameters of the hero? - 87-57-87,tak, education is a higher computer engineer - or delete, how do you think?Are they suddenly scared??I will write 2 higher -med.institut,provizor.Al it is only in the process=((.OK,I will write just the higher.Age - 22.Hobby - how to cook or cook?Okay, I love cooking.What do you like - a cat and a car of course, what else can I love that?Job – What is my job for?Can you give them a salary? ?So, the brand of the car - we write red, as usual!Who does it matter, let them take for a blonde))Blue, fucking would they know about the rubies??Al let them envy, cat, 7kg, red, I will still post a photo.What do you most appreciate in life - well as any normal man - to eat, sleep))Listen, but it seems to me that with such a questionnaire will only alphons behave?Enough, we’ve gone through this topic!They just need money, but I’m stupid.Damn I look at it, right?Do I look at men?And so good, there is a job, there is a car, there is a cat, I will soon buy an apartment - a man in general?He went to the ass of this dating site, went better layers to do!
She removes the writing and goes away.I’m a fool or she’s a fool, right?

From our window we can see a lot of stones.
Only a little out of our window.

Do you like to read other people’s text messages? I don’t mean, of course, your wife or husband or children – don’t go on the phone to a loved one, unless, of course, you’ve not noticed an incoming call from the Joyful Drawer. Although, you know, my acquaintance turned very cleverly – she called the lover a megaphone. He knew about it and therefore tried to send SMS of this nature. Dear subscriber of Megaphone! We are very pleased that you have been using our reliable and, most importantly, strong connection for a whole year. Assuming that you are not yet fully satisfied with the quality of our services, we offer you to participate in the "Bonus for all entries" promotion tomorrow. If you receive at least three incoming calls, each lasting at least 20 minutes, you will receive a dinner for two at the restaurant you choose. “Your megaphone.”

Admission Commission: What is your mother’s name?
Student: I don’t remember
Acceptance Commission: Sadly
I’ll call my dad, I’ll know. He really begins to call Dad: Dad, what is Mom’s name?
Acceptance Commission: At the same time, clarify how the father is called
Student in the telephone: Dad, and you?