bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114033
 28.05.2015
to this:

Are you ready to die for Russia?
I am sick, I am sick?! to
Are you ready to die for Russia?
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"
Are you ready to die for Russia?
CCC : Yes!
Thank you Mr. Depardieu
--------
The idiot is your Depardieu. For it was said: "Soldiers! Your mission is not to die for your country. Your task is to make those bastards die out for their own!".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114032
 28.05.2015
Oral you say? We had a 70-year-old oligofren who really measured the millimeter line of the field of the documents we wrote and did not take into account if we did not fit into the admission.
________________

Isn’t that what the case is?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114031
 28.05.2015
The student.
– – – – –
His name is Jungle?
Is that some porn of the eighties?
This is the same thing....
School, if you shake, the hair on your palms will grow and you will eventually become blind.
Look at your hands, do you see your hair?
You have already begun to blind.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114030
 28.05.2015
YYU: On the first floor there is a children's store, and here, in the basement - an intimate store. In this regard, the advertising plaque "Rejoice your baby" is perceived a little twice.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114029
 28.05.2015

The rabbi and the Viking in a fierce dispute came to an agreement that power is in the Torah.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114028
 28.05.2015
She
The client did not like the seamless bodies.
I said too much with the chicks 😉

He is
He came to you.

She
You are fucking

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114027
 28.05.2015
The American city of Houston is underwater.

"Houston, you have a problem"

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114026
 28.05.2015
Chapter 1736: I'll tell you a secret.

Adults go to work every day. They get money for this work. And from that money they pay the other uncles taxes, which, shit, go to water supply and other utilities! And for this money they want to get a decent service, and not to be satisfied with what is there", as you did there in your "zolbayka".

The next time you, for example, complain about a bad lunch in a cafe, and the cook tells you, “Satisfy yourself with what you eat, in Africa, children are hungry.” In the clothes shop, when complaining about the broken pants, you will be told: "Wear what they give, some walk in slugs." And in the car service you will be answered: "What you are dissatisfied with, some places at all riding horses still".

I am sure, after that, you will jump rabbit crying on your "Zdolbali" like a beaten cock about how you, the unfortunate, all around you are offended.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114025
 28.05.2015
The most beneficial vitamins are women.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114024
 28.05.2015
I was on the bus in the morning (46 if interesting).
I stood by the window, looked at the awakening city and all that. I listened to music in my headphones. Suddenly, someone knocked me so gently on the shoulder. I turn around, standing a girl, a cute creature with an angel face. I pick up the headphones and wonder what’s going on.
What she answers me that she would like to meet me 0_o
I don’t know why I said this, but I said:
- Girl, but this is wrong, guys should meet girls. Get up at the door and I will come to meet you.
The lovely creature smiled at me and went to the door.
I turn off the music, put on the best smile available, approach the girl and ask with a lively voice if I can meet her.
The sweet creature gives me an astonished, high-minded look and answers:
I don’t meet in the buses.
He walks out with a proudly raised head.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №114023
 28.05.2015
My girlfriend said, “I wish you were more like my ex.” “Well,” I said and left her.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114022
 28.05.2015
There are people who have money but do not know how to spend it properly. They are called masters and they hate them. Another type - people who know where and how to invest money, but by the will of fate, these very money do not have. They are all called miserables or losers and they hate them. True, there are others who have money and know how to manage them... but they are also disliked for some reason.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114021
 28.05.2015
Comments Off on “Will humans have sex with robots?”

xxxx: and smiling
The near future:
The sex industry began to produce perfectly human-simulating sex dolls.
Hackers released a firmware hack for them, including the ability to "cook food" and "remove junk".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114020
 28.05.2015
Discussion of Diploma Works
xxx: He came first, tapped 15 sheets of drawings, instead of 5-7 minutes dedicated to telling for half an hour, half composing on the move and not letting the members of the commission put the word.
Then he joyfully asked if there were any questions, and on some simple question told another 10 minutes of any hernia. Then he asked him no less joyfully if there were any more questions, and he watched the dean climb under the table of the Deputy Governor of Construction and whisper at him, "just don't think of asking him anything else, otherwise we will not leave here until evening."
And the commission did not even pay attention to the fact that on every 7 pages of the note, long gaps in the phrases were built into the word "HUY".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114019
 28.05.2015
I ordered candy for the office. I have one question, what do those who invent their names smoke? I and I at the table:
The Sun White
The Mishkin Journey
and brighter!
Reflection of coconut
My favourite stomach.
Impressed, spit, decided to arrange a diversion in the office - to order iris.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114018
 28.05.2015
This is:

And who, fucking, is this "Carl", whom everyone remembers all the way to the place and not to the place? The question in the top was asked, but I never saw the answer! >.<
___________________

Here's the guy who was joked in Google. Go to Google, Carl!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №114017
 28.05.2015
YYU: A man is standing near the entrance, smoking, entering the carpet, and a sweet lady looks out of the window: "Man, you can go, please, I need to go". The man is the self-galance, not leading his eyebrows: "If you go to my lawn, I will go to your jaw." The lady was upset, but understood the hint, went to park elsewhere.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114016
 28.05.2015
Lightbit: Interestingly, and Drozdov at MSU reminds his students of approaching the session of his immortal "The Dog is stealing"?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114015
 28.05.2015
Tell this to scientists who get a hundred thousand. And such thousands.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thousands of effective managers with higher salaries, billions on research, trillions on the roads. And the federal track "Baikal" as it was like a crowded tank, so it remained. Let us continue to measure efficiency in the mastered means, and science with the salary of thousands of scientists.

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114014
 27.05.2015
RK: Wanted a harddog? Get it! You have a job on elance :))) people are asking to put a mazeno site on hosting, which they were made by Hindus, who were heavily overwhelmed on the topic of money, with which the customer was joking and they did not give him the sources of his store...

RK: The client was not a whistleblower and saved the entire site locally... from the browser... every page... swearing that everything works on his computer!! Pay $500 for the server :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna