bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128919
 02.06.2016
It seems to me that in the near future, if a Russian person lives to retirement, he will have to pay a fine for this.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128918
 02.06.2016
There is a belief that when the text suddenly breaks abruptly, the reader can not for a while.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128917
 02.06.2016
Briefly about my acquaintance with the IKEA self-service system:
Here that 25kg wheelchair and not fit on the same wheelchair is considered small (even if such cabinets you take 2) and you must pick it up from the warehouse to the delivery department (or pay 300 rubles for delivery there), which is 10 meters from the warehouse and already there to order delivery.
But this table weighing 15 kg, which can be taken in your hands and without a cart is considered large size and you even need to pick it up from the warehouse, and you can immediately go to the delivery department after paying for the goods.
What is interesting - the cost of delivery in both cases is the same, but in the second case, the money spent is compensated by the surprised persons of the charger, to whom no one from the delivery informed that it is necessary to lift it to the 9th floor, and the elevator does not work (even if you repeat this when registering twice).

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128916
 02.06.2016
– is
My (born a little earlier) "slip" never knew, but the apartment was still given to our family.
— — —
The fools, b.
Ivan Ivanovich Haritonov won a lottery of 100 million rubles. And now he explains to everyone that you don’t need to play, work, you just need to win the lottery like him.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128915
 02.06.2016
20478: I’ll reveal a secret to you. Buyers with cards, in fact, up to Ouri, including me. And you do not see them, because they do not come to you anymore. You have no fool. I myself try to bypass such shops and service points. I’m not going because of you, businessmen, I’m dragging because I know where to go to the ATM, and I almost don’t have cash.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128914
 02.06.2016
Canakau is Friday! We went to the bar with a quiet soul.
Diamond: Wednesday today
Canakau: Well then we went to the bar with a restless soul!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128913
 02.06.2016
XXX: I’m blind, but I still see that you’re faint.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128912
 02.06.2016
"...he sincerely wanted to benefit the Fatherland."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128911
 02.06.2016
With this all interferes in transport soon will appear angry stories in the spirit of "women, you borrowed, straighten your breasts"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №128910
 02.06.2016
In principle, Fyodor Konyukhov is the ideal candidate for a flight to Mars. He is already on Earth. Only, it is... two wheels to the star to do - let him help the engines and meditate.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128909
 02.06.2016
I work in a remote office. They have several offices in Moscow, one of them is located at the Lubyanka metro station. I have to go there from time to time to sign some accounting papers, about which they inform me (usually by e-mail).
It seems that the Stalinist times have not been stopped, but I still cannot get rid of the ambiguity in the phrase "Dear Emmerek, Couldn't you go to Lubyanka today?"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128908
 02.06.2016
Igor
Were you born there?
by 28.05.16
Maximum
I will promise tomorrow.
by 28.05.16
Igor
Has Irene kept his promise?
by 09:31:04
Maximum
Chechnya on the dam!
Irene promised to endure.
by 09:36:27
Igor
by 11:14:08
Everything is off!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128907
 02.06.2016
XXX: I can’t go through that. I’ve spent 10 hours and I can’t get through it. Very difficult game.
zzz: that shit, I have not been able to go through Windows for more than 20 years.
XXX: run, there is a lot of glucose, it is not passed at all

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128906
 02.06.2016
I work at the Tyumen Hostel. Sometimes a busy visitor comes to us, Vlad. He is not quite adult yet.

Last time we painted with him a giraffe with a tail like a horse, with wings, and a penguin flying in the sky.
with a ring in the chest to attach the chain so that the penguin doesn’t completely fly away.
This time we played crucifixion. And in the meantime, Vlad says to me (about my animal mosquito snatching):
Without mosquitoes, there will be no frogs. If there are no frogs, there will be no frogs.
Well, I think it is clear. Explained to the child about the food chains, now there will be some predator. And he continues:
If there are no eggs, there will be no children. If there are no children, there will be no adults. If there are no adults, there will be no grandmothers.

Here is this. Be careful with mosquitoes.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128905
 01.06.2016
If you didn’t know yet, the salt terribly affects our vessels and leads to heart attacks and strokes!
Yyy: Well, that is, the salt that is organic is correct, and the one that is GMO is cancer-causing. All is simple.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128904
 01.06.2016
My husband likes to have sex in front of the mirror, relying on him. Before leaving for a business trip, I arranged the general cleaning and washed all the mirrors including. When I came back, the mirror was all in the fingerprints of my palms. The story of how I caught him in betrayal.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128903
 01.06.2016
I lie down quietly at night, I lie down, I don’t touch anyone, suddenly I feel that someone slips on my back. Naturally, he took the miserable sharply and threw it somewhere. I slept.

In a dream, the story of an alpinist whom a giant crushed from the rock and threw down to a certain death... never before so conscientiously had been for a bucket...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128902
 01.06.2016
Doctor Singer: I think this is a new form of natural selection. Now, when a person, in general, does not threaten to die from the cold, hunger and the nail of predators (in those countries where he is threatened, few people are interested in raw food in good will), a new mechanism of seeding is needed. Here is he. and :)

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128901
 01.06.2016
The woman in the subway told the whole car loudly:

Children are too many. They are hard to serve the state - benefits, kindergartens, decrees.
How can we make children less?
The contraception!! to
The best contraception is, of course, homosexuality!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128900
 01.06.2016
XXX: I hope to go to you ^_^ I really want to become a pathologist)))) Please tell me, what was the first feeling when you first saw the corpse?))

YYY: The realization that the first man I saw naked was dead

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