Bring the girl to the beauty salon for depilation. I sit at the reception and wait.
A young administrator, obviously not coping with the number of calls and paper turmoil, made my day, breathing: "Well, when we are set up a multi-channel phone with an auto-responder type - "Please stay on the line. Your head is very important to us".

thanks google for the translation: "Üye olduğun için teşekkürler!" from Turkish to English - "Thank you for being a member!", in Russian - "Thank you for being a member!";

The OPPA!
This genius is:
>>> >>> The question is about tobacco smoke. This is a harmless and quite acceptable smell thing. Those whom he irritates are no different from those whom the air conditioner blows. Or even worse.

>>> Are you a fool or not aware of passive smoking? Tell this to asthmatics when tobacco smoke will provoke an attack in them.

And there are also many people with allergies to the flowering of all kinds of plants - let's for this reason in the cities all the greens are forbidden. Or suddenly from their flowering someone will have Quincke swelling or anaphylactic shock! We will take care of these people too.
— — —
That is, do you not know, for example, about the campaigns to destroy ambrosia and replace topols with other trees? They are large. And so it's funny, yes, allergies are suffocating, the buggy is straight. So that your children don’t have asthma, just pray.

We discussed the dress for the wedding:
I’ll go to the store when the money comes. I will see and decide whether to buy or sew.
Q: Why don’t you go now?
X: There is no money.
Q: Why don’t you just die?
X: O_O
X: to die! to move to write!

That’s why people don’t understand technicians.

From Habr:

xxx: Three doors are projections of the back on three mutually perpendicular axes.

yyy: three mutually perpendicular axes. that is. Can you draw seven perpendicular lines?

XXX: What is this? Do you have trouble imagining an ordinary 7-dimensional space?

An unrealistic level of mimicry is established: Natalia Poklonskaya presses her cheek to a sleeping cat with clogged eyes.

I’m not fat, I just have a large bone.
Yyy: Oh, and I’m not bald, I just have smooth bones.

came to work.
I usually drink tea with milk in the morning.
There was no milk.
But there were martini and juice))

Competition on the local radio on football themes: it is necessary to continue shouting hard and, preferably, in the rhythm: “if our loses...”
The winning option:
“If we play,
I will not be surprised!”

Methodically, throughout the 10-day rest, all family members took these small pieces of the couch from the hotel area and threw them away from their eyes.
__________________
And for 10 days the maid never came to the elite room to clean up?

Elvi Roy: Generally speaking, I also don’t understand who was bothered by the tampons with smokers.

Whc: Naive question - of course, for those who sucked in the tampons ::)

I cooked a compot of dried fruits, fucking...
I sit down and eat sweet mushroom soup.

There is so much love in my mom’s cupcakes that they can be given to girls instead of Raphael.

Shulepov: "Men are very offensive creatures sometimes. Break a man some kind of nonsense of life or jaw, and he will treat you cautiously.
Hunting: Better to break the jaw.
Shalepov: For what?
Hunting for love, for example
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Hunting by Eeee. I have nothing to do with it, everything is much easier for me. Either you like or white socks.
Shulepov: Judging by the fact that you are not yet married, you already have your own small cemetery.

to this:
You won't believe, but often all this therapy from gynecologists is reduced to two questions
Do you have a sexual life?
You answer no, they advise you to start and everything will be fine.
If you answer yes, then the next question.
Are there children? If not, it is recommended to

----------------
At the point! I was in a gynecological department. I concluded that according to gynecologists, getting pregnant and giving birth is a universal therapy for all female diseases. The side effect of such therapy in the form of a child they ignored. You will think, what nonsense! The main thing is health! In addition, if you have a child, it will not be time to get sick immediately!

Likewise friendly, they ignored the fact that, contrary to their theory, the department was a battle, and at the same time among the patients of all the nearest chambers there were no children only in me. And every second diagnosis story began with a singing: "First everything was great, and then I gave birth, and it started."

Her mother had a dog of the Rottweiler breed and, since the dog needed special training, she led the dog to protective and obedient training. Once I had no one to leave with and she took me with her. The road passed by the school, which was closed for the summer and where the family dwellers settled. When we passed by the fence, the courtiers came across the fence and stumbled upon us like angry men, but they could not get through the fence. Of course, it was very uncomfortable when inadequate dogs clapped near the jaw, but for Rottweiler, at least henna: he didn't even turn his head to their side. And now, when the fence was approaching a turn and we could already move away from the fence, the rottweiler with an absolutely unmistakable view raises the leg and makes our day, as one of the voices has changed sharply by the sound with which they will rinse their throats... After which the courtiers shutly, pressing their tails, went on their way and never again even close. This story has been around for 10 years, but it still makes us smile.

Long night trip in a car.

I have no place to stretch my feet.
Go to the trunk, there’s a lot of room.
It is: exactly. I will fit well there.
ZZZ : Oh yeah Three men in the cabin and she sleeps in the trunk. Until the first mentions.

I met a girl here, complained about everything, said her men do not stick to her, leave, whatever you do. The strongest lasted for a month and a half. Although the savage is not ugly at all, cooking is great, in bed is not barren. A couple of weeks is normal, but after a while I notice some coldness, indifference to me. Everything is sitting in the cell phone, something is crawling. Despite the agreement not to go to each other's phones decided to look. I was surprised to learn that she has a long-time and wholeheartedly beloved man, with whom she communicates daily and even sometimes meets. Unfortunately, he is married to her. And really, why is it from her that all the men leave, who can tell?

Parents who are concerned and concerned:
During my active youth at the university, I lived with my mother and grandmother. I often came home at two o’clock at night. I tried to warn you in advance.
So, my grandmother regularly read me lectures about how she worries about me, and can not sleep at night because of me, unconscious.
Mom cared about it - gave a hundred rubles for a taxi and quietly slept.
Nothing so worthy of attention happened to me, despite the active expectations of my grandmother.

After the Psychology Test:
XXX: I am a choleric. What happened to you?
HK: Judging from this data, I’m something between a sanguinist and a melancholic.
XXX: How is it?
HK: Well, imagine the ideal...