bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74294
 14.12.2012
Bzz: Listen, and you don’t know where and how to jump with a parachute?
Alex is? Why Why?? to
Bzz: Well, how... Here’s my son – I’ll tell him how he jumped with a parachute!
Alex is ah. The story begins with the question, “Daddy, Daddy, where are your legs?”and "

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №74293
 14.12.2012
by Oleg Prasev▼
Fuck, he has a big ass! And he disables the SMS notification because of the fact that "there is 30p. There is nothing to do with"!
13.12.12 12:25:15

Issue of Issue of Issue▼
Someone, precisely because he monitors his expenses, he has so much money.
13.12.12 12:25:36

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №74292
 14.12.2012
Dasha
What about your health?

Lena
The insensitivity to strong alcohol (and the desire to blast everyone around. Not that it would bother me very much, but usually everything around is somehow against.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74291
 14.12.2012
by Barmaglot:
The resident of Krasnoyarsk organized the delivery of cats in lease. The author of the initiative was a member of the public organization of aid to homeless animals "Chvostics" Alena Temerova. According to her, she posted ads about renting pets on Krasnoyarsk forums. Order a cat for two hours will cost 300 rubles.

The Beast:
11600 a month. She would go, haha.

by Barmaglot:
Well, what barrel do you need to hit to rent a cat for a month?

The Beast:
And for two hours? still remains "apartment with timely payment" to remove and gladiate it there, gladiate...

by Barmaglot:
There are many places where you can do this...in the car, for example :-D

The Beast:
There is no shower in the car so that the kiosks wash after contact. And you too, or you will smell like a stinking cheese from you when you return to your wife. not well.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74290
 14.12.2012
Puzo grew up) He was a good, beautiful, thin boy. It just became good and beautiful.
WOW: Years take theirs, it will soon be just good))


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74289
 14.12.2012
The box goes advertising of some company, it sounds like the phrase "Buy in winter - get in summer!". And here out of the wall comes the evil scream of the neighbor "Russian post mess!!and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №74288
 14.12.2012
What salary do you expect?
What about "Wow, is it all for me?"

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №74287
 14.12.2012
What do you think about structured carbon?
You have been pushing your intelligence! Go fuck your coal!
Okay I understood. The diamond ring is in the ass.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №74286
 14.12.2012
In a strange garden, salt is sweet.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №74285
 14.12.2012
Yesterday I sat behind my compass, I didn’t touch anyone, the sister suits:
This is all your influence! No longer approach the child.
I explain: the child is my 8-year-old nephew, her son. The statement is surprising by the fact that I am constantly crucifying from him as much as I can, and he is forcing me to do lessons or something else. I drive with him a lot. Here is such a statement. I even thought I heard.
What is?
I tell you not to go to Vancouver anymore.
Glad, but what happened?
There was some psychotherapy in the school. Well, when the aunt (uncle) comes to the class, asks the children silly questions and, based on the answers, makes conclusions about development, the state of the psyche, and then talks with the parents. I continue not to enter.
Well and what?
They asked him, “Who is grazing on the lawn?” Do you know what he replied?
What is?
Prepare for the rage!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №74284
 14.12.2012
The funds allocated in Russia for the end of the world were stolen.
Event on the brink of collapse.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74283
 14.12.2012
False89: The Procastination Training and methods? Hera is all that! Bring yourself a cat, one time postponed for then to clean the bowl and all, already past nasrano. Yesterday after drinking, waking up at 5 a.m. from the dryer, I went after a glass of water to clean the pot, because the catchy-skotika on my chopsticks.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №74282
 14.12.2012
Modern children are taught to eat soup, bending a plate on themselves, in order to occasionally pour the soup themselves, not a laptop or tablet.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №74281
 14.12.2012
From Habr:
akaStiX: If you give a list of the 3 companies that have made the most significant contribution to the development of IT, it will be as follows:
1st IBM is
2nd IBM is
Three IBM is

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74280
 14.12.2012
I was in the metro. The car is full in front of the door. There are two men, unknown to each other. One second touches and follows a dialogue:
Sorry to
Nothing terrible
Do you want a candy? (I myself am in this moment)
No, thank you
- Yes, okay, beary (insistently extends)
(Thanks to you
(Take a few more)
- Yes No
I have a whole package.
In the end, he picked up a candy from him, then I went out, and they, I think, also swallowed and then went together)))))))

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №74279
 14.12.2012
On the topic of "punishment cannot be pardoned", there is a discussion of mattresses:
On my daughter’s coconut mattress, neither I nor my wife can sleep at all.
YYY: I would try it. Only the coconut daughter doesn’t let her sleep. And I don’t think you need to get stuck in that proposal at all.
zzz: "...neither I nor my wife..." – these are listings, the fifth is needed. What kind of coconut is this? My daughter has no coconut. Or what do I not know?
Yyy: Your coconut hasn’t grown yet.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74278
 14.12.2012
The Samsung website. Questions and answers.

Questions
How to remove the simka from the plan?

Reply
This tablet does not have a SIM card slot.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74277
 14.12.2012
Comment on the robot vacuum cleaner, from the shortcomings:
- he does not clean himself, does not send SMS notifications, there is no sense of tact, humor too, the animals are scared, the door cannot be opened, he does not cook - fucking shorter, only to stand in the dock station =)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74276
 14.12.2012

But fucking, I understand that soon the games will be more serious and 1GB of memory on board will be too little.

Soon we’ll be playing at Tesla.

"Thanks to you! Do not forget to turn off the nuclear reactor. Good Mom and Mom"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74275
 14.12.2012
"The volcano on Chukotka"... people, you are completely shaken!? We are in Kamchatka!! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna