As strange as it may be, but usually the talk of cleanliness is when they water each other with dirt.

North of Italy. One of the towns near Lake Garda, which there are dozens.

I walk around the center, walk, look at pizzerias, gelateries and other local food. The trouble is not tea.

Suddenly from beyond the corner, a young guy in a shirt-uniform jumps out on me, uncovers a folder before me and begins to tell me something and sometimes shows me a thick finger in the folder, accompanied by epithetics such as "solo", "perfect" etc.

Since my knowledge of Italian begins and ends with "Lascha mi cantare", I have to interrupt his flaming speech with my signature "Aim sorri, ma italiano".

Apparently ready for such a development of events, a guy in good English charged me in response "Oh! Don Spike is an Italian. Is it okay, werner ar yuv fraom?“Tell me where I’m from.

and Israel

of Israel?! to

and Israel

In our mini-dialogue decides to intervene, standing a few meters away from us, in the same shirt-uniform, (apparently) a colleague guy (and unexpectedly in Russian):

and max! It is useless! Go here, don’t waste your time.

(Max is in charge)

and Maax!

(Max is out of place):

What is?

Go here and I will tell you until he has sold you something.

“Ah, (turning to me) HEVE E NESS DEI SER, SHALOM!

You don’t have to get sick, sir. – I’m determined to morally get a guy.

A year ago, the phrase "Kokorin gave the transmission to Mamayev" had a very different meaning.

At 10 a.m. I asked my wife:

Would you eat?

answered :

No, I do not want.

It is 8 p.m. and I ask you:

Will we eat?

I heard the answer:

You do not want it!

Just a phenomenal memory.

Only in Russia defective managers are called effective managers.

There is an Anglo-American School (AAS) in Moscow. The same one that our Ministry of Foreign Affairs is pressing now, not allowing its teachers on diplomatic passports to enter Russia. The children of employees of the respective embassies are taught there on English and American programs, as well as, on a commercial basis, all those who wish.
And it happened to me almost at the same time to give private lessons to several Russian children who studied there. First, I explained to them how everything they passed there would be in Russian (because no one freed them from the then OGE/EGE analogues, and school knowledge is sometimes needed in life) in English. And secondly, they wanted to raise their high level of knowledge, which AAS gave, to the highest, since each of them had already set as their goal to enter a specific British or American university, the level of which began with the London School of Economics. By the way, they all achieved their goals.
But there was a guy among them, let’s call him, Petya, absolutely calm, capable, hardworking. He himself, by the way, asked to teach him to perform school work with an adjustment to the personal qualities of teachers. And he and I successfully used the fact, for example, that the natural science teacher was a chemist rather than a physicist, and proud of his Scottish origins. Well, Petya, inventing secondary factors affecting the pressure in the gas, wrote about the possibility of chemical reactions and about the fact that in the valleys in the Scottish mountains, which are the Highlands, the wind blows, and the pressure at the same time decreases. The teacher was happy and put A+.
Peter was a patriot. He made a firm decision to enter the Russian university and then continue his career in Russia. He said, “There is a lot of nonsense in our country. A lot of nonsense. Must be corrected.”
Initially I went to MGIMO. I tried cautiously to hint that in MGIMO “strangers don’t go.” But Petya, with the support of his parents, simply decided to enter paid preparatory courses, thus becoming "his own" for some amount of money.
However, there was an unexpected problem. Petya was "falled" at the entrance exam in English. Introductory to courses where he was still going to prepare and prepare for admission! A man who from the first class taught all subjects in English, communicating in school only on it, and passed all the Russian school exams on him to the highest score! Strangers, in short, do not go there.
After that, I met Petya and asked how impressions.
“Naturally,” he replied, “all the nonsense was just a little more than I initially expected.”
He entered the Russian university. A little more famous and a little less muddy than MGIMO. He successfully completed it.

In the place of Erundy, I would have thought about my behavior. She began to press school.

Where are you serving?
I work at the FSB.
Tell me something interesting!
About you or about yourself?

My sister forgot my bag at home. In the evening, the same day, she calls, asking her to dictate the CVC code from one of the cards in her wallet. I opened her wallet, and there was a picture of some unknown man in the shape of a prosecutor. When asked who she was, and when to wait for the invitation to the wedding, she replied, "No. I found and printed a random photo on the Internet. Once in the bus my bag has already been cut and the wallet pulled out, and so - the thief is even nervous let. He will come back, as if he had found it somewhere. I left my phone number in my neighbor’s pocket.”

I think now on the carpet at the entrance to the apartment also the prosecutor will be glued.

History is real. A distant brother of his wife came to his acquaintance for a few days. They accepted well that he even decided to stay, but my friend suspected something wrong. It turned out that it was her lover, lived with them about a month!

He went out with his brother.

I come home from work.

I opened the door, and I was brought by a younger daughter who was alone in the apartment.

My eyes are red, tears flow.

He runs to me and begins to roar, I am in shock, amid the adornments I hear:

“Ic... Some uncles came here... They were in black...Ic...”

I’m already thinking about calling the police, thinking about who it might be.

The creditors? I did not take loans. Just thieves? Brad, we live on the fifth floor, is not the most appetizing destination.

Finally I ask, “And what did they do? “”

They stole a piece of your cake.

How did she think of that, right?

This story was told to me yesterday by my friend Anton, I publish it with his permission.

He built his house five years ago. When it came to the hole, he decided to “give up” to professionals. Called, agreed, came. cool guys, all the bulk - excavator, crane-board, g / b rings and pipes in the set. They did everything quickly and turned away.

Further construction and other mutations extended for two years. And now it is time to install the sanitary, give water, check - everything works, beauty! and. In the evening, after a hard day, he decided to wash, and the water did not go away. He cried, tried and spit, and said that the morning was wiser than the evening. The next day I bought two wires (for a verruche) and tried in vain to clean the fence - it is stuck and it's all here. The water seems to go away, but it is quite dull, without a fire. So another day and another day passed and a bunch of Crot was poured "in the tube" and the result was zero!

In the end, a decision was made - we will dig!

Our homeowner gave the job to the finisher to figure out what it was and find the hole, opening the ground from the house to the side of the hole, and he left. Next Anton - A, finisher - About the whole day "on the phone":

A: What is there for you?

I know it, I’m digging it!

And so once per hour.

Suddenly a contact! The officer himself called:

A: I’m digging I’m digging, I’ve almost reached the pit and here’s the heracle – the pipe is over!

To be honest, I was even dumb at first. Where is the tube? And here it came to me! The new tubes were not enough! And they didn’t bother to grind everything as it was. Go into the hole, it is dry, and there is no hole for the pipe!

This is a lesson for all of us, comrades. Check the money without leaving the box.

My friend! Tag of mine)

I went to a military and sports ammunition store. What is not there. Half of the shop is clothes. When I was a student and dreamed of traveling, this was impossible to imagine. The size is very large, above average height. I see very nice pants. In the appearance of a classic, excellent material, very dense, you just can't break it. And the main color is decent, very discreet. I see my size. I take it in my hands and pretend to myself. The seller approaches and says: They are women. I answer as I know, but my wife is also a man. In short, I bought it, I’ve been going for three days. Everyone liked it. Especially my wife. He says that at least once in his life he bought himself decent clothes.

A good king must have enough bad boys for every trouble.

In 1987, 25 schoolchildren from the Harvest High School (Kazakhstan) were encouraged with a free trip to Leningrad. I am lucky to be among them. We stand in front of the Ermitage. Just like in the mausoleum. Dozens of groups mixed at the entrance, guides argue, we are waiting for the second hour. And then one of our guys, Serega, approached the female administrator and said, “We are standing for the second hour, and we have, by the way, a Vietnamese in the delegation!” The woman said, “Where is he?” Sergey pointed to the only Kazakh guy in our group, Manas Kagenov, who really, as everyone immediately seemed, smiled at the Vietnamese. The administrator picked up Manas and asked him strictly, “Are you a Vietnamese?” He was not confused and issued a tirade in Kazakh language: "Kezekte t

He was such a rare creature that he came to the ark alone.

Ten or twelve years ago, when we were close to 18, we and a friend were drinking beer at his entrance.

The first days of January, we celebrate the ng.

Five-storey, but windows with a showdown, you're with the showdown on which we sat.

At four in the morning we went to the store for water. Really on the water.

They came out of the courtyard, crossed half the road and saw a beetle in the distance.

They ran back into the yard.

The car behind us.

We made a circle and ran into the entrance, climbed to the fifth floor and, miraculously, sat down in a chair.

In five minutes I look at the wall above the window, and there the icon hangs, somewhere 50x50 cm.

I tell a friend, do you see the icon?

He sees.

I thought it was a sign.

The next night they remembered it, and decided to watch it sober.

They went up, and the icons, of course, did not.

There is no chair.

It wasn’t a little by itself.

We still remember that story.

We were not blue. Under the degree.



Okay, shit history, badly read

The people who have fallen are those who have found their top at the bottom.

On Monday, the daughter goes to the garden, some quiet. He usually talks without silence, and there is only silence. In the car he asks:
Is it really possible to find a way out of any situation?
The truth.
I will not go to the garden anymore.
Why is?
- We have a new boy Antoshka, he invented nicknames for everyone and then annoyed. His teacher Nina Ivanovna already made an observation to him, and he is still upset.
“Let’s go, daughter, I’ll ask her not to do that anymore and I’ll tell her parents.

We came to the garden, just in the dressing room this boy is dressing up. His father with him. We arrived, we met. My father is so sociable and positive.
He says:
"I will talk with Antoshka, of course, but you don't make a tragedy, it's kids, they'll get upset and stop.
In the evening my daughter asks:
How are the names invented?
Is it annoying?
and yes.
Add the first consonant word to the name. For example, a potato potato.
I will say immediately, I did wrong. “Alger com Alger.”

The next evening, the phone call from Antonov's father, judging by the voice, was positive.
“We talked to your son, he won’t be upset anymore, but let your daughter not be upset anymore.
of course. How does she annoy him?
by Anton Carton. The boy is upset, crying, does not want to go to the garden.
Be calm, they are kids. They will forget and forget.)
- We went to school in a year, it was not enough for this nickname to stick.
Of course, my daughter will also go to school in a year, maybe even in one class.
I understood you.

Fuck, Antonia, don’t give your name a nickname.

I walk like a poor man, in whole jeans, and there is no money for the robberies.

To my classmate in class at 7-8 began to attach ourselves our common classmate. Then let the joke go, and touch the Norwich. A classmate complained to her mother. My grandmother is a powerful grandmother, she went to understand. On the shift, she pressed the poor man in the corner in the corridor and asked, "No, get what you wanted to show my daughter there. I’ll see if there’s something to show or if it’s yet to grow.” The whole red, almost in tears, barely broke out.

This kind of thing will not run with a shit, immediately the article, and then everyone was pleasant) by the way, helped.