Concentration at work is when you accidentally repeat one song and only after an hour and a half you realize that it is longer today than usual.

WOW: Concentration at work is when you put on headphones in the morning and work, sometimes shoot, go out on a business issue, come back, joke, work... And in the evening, when you turn off the computer, you understand: player! I should have started the play!

The crisis. The headquarters introduced a novelty - to save paper, every time you need to write an explanatory - why you have paper and what you are going to print. For this case you are issued the corresponding amount of net paper of the corresponding format. Moreover, it is necessary to write an explanatory of course by hand and necessarily on a draft (a sheet of paper used on one side). The staff is looking forward to a similar solution on toilet paper.
And in the light of the delay in pay, the question arises – will this not be a way to control theft? If you don’t get a salary and you ask for toilet paper... From where?? to
by AntonFox

A normal dog understands how to bring a bone larger than a doorway into a room with 10 attempts.
xxx: attention, question: from what attempt the average user will understand how to run the video when the player is deployed to the entire screen, the play button is next to the start button, and the taskbar is automatically hidden

Employee reading the news:
Oh, good news for Alexei Viktorovich – beer helps with Alzheimer’s disease!

The girl was five years old, was in guests at the crusade. After their visit, the pudel of the cross stopped eating. One day he doesn’t eat, two days he doesn’t drink, a dog is sick. They brought the pudel to the veterinarian, and he looked at the dog, took the scissors and cut the rubber from his mouth. A black rubber from the bigode, which Irka Little wrapped on a pudel mouth.

xxx: I promised to give Van the pudding personally and did not give it
YYY: Because he is cute
Is it considered a birthday gift?
YYY : Yes!
XXX: The Class
I will write in a congratulation.
Wanna, I didn’t give you a shit! Congratulations to!

Once a father told a story from his childhood about how his grandmother always hid from his dad imported candy boxes, which somewhere managed to get. And daddy, in turn, found, of course, and ate, and put plasticine in the envelopes. Thirty years later, my father told my grandmother. How the grandmother laughed, because these candy gave to the bosses, and I imagine their surprise as inside was elegantly packed plasticine.

I have a friend. More familiar with work. Sometimes we drink beer and talk about life. Always take money "before pay" in all kinds of money and fast money. He is constantly named. And then one day they call him again. He listened for a long time and then said:
What do you call me all the time? It is good for you to have interest rates fall!
He is no longer called.

I was 9-10 years old and, like any generation, I walked with my girlfriends in the gardens. Everyone had their own gardens, but as they say, the neighbor and the grass are greener and the crochet is more delicious.

We were four. We sat behind the fence and wrapped up an unwashed crusher, and the older one of us decided that it would not be better for us to put our hands in the fence, it would be better for her to get into the garden and get bigger, and then it would pass on to us.

The plan was accomplished magnificently, she went into the garden, picked up a cross, handed it over to us and decided to drop from there, but hanged her pants on the fence and could not go down.

As we just didn’t try to remove it, it was pointless. Eventually, seeing the old men walking far away, they asked them to help us. He said, so and so, the keys were forgotten, and the crucifix wanted.

What was our surprise when they, filled with laughter, opened the garden with keys and, on the other hand, cut it off from the fence.

They didn’t argue, but they told us to pick them up. And us what? We gathered, and ate, and then gave us one more.

Health should be taken care of by doctors.

When I was a kid and couldn't pronounce the letter "R", I loved to go out with my grandfather for a fuck. And then one day at the country, my grandfather took me fishing and put me on my neck so that I couldn’t wet my feet in the river. He is fishing, and he is fishing. He leaned to pull out the fish, forgetting that he had a granddaughter on it, and naturally I fell into the cold river. And eventually the whole village heard my hysterical screams when I returned: "I don't need your RRRR! I don’t need your fish! I’m not going to go fishing anymore!!!

- Imagine, the son of Vice President Lukoil was chasing Moscow at a terrible speed, he could not be delayed for 6 hours, he even wore on the playgrounds! And what in the end? 15 days of arrest. There is no justice in Russia, there is no justice.
- It is true... - replied Serdyukov Vasilyeva.

All this sticker is fun, as if it even became clear that when with children, the sticker can help in an accident...
But say, drivers with a label, and if you drive without a child, do you remove that label? It should be somewhat conscientious to deceive other participants of the movement, right?

by 20450:
The toilet is closed an hour before the landing??? Did you fly on planes?
I have bad news for you...

Diamond, you are a dumb dumb!
Finish with this selfie.

Teacher of Scientific Atheism
/////////////////////////////////////

We had a wonderful grandmother. When she was called by phone or asked from the guard, she ran out in her platinum wig and shouted to the whole hall: "Who wants me?"

I am a member of the "City". I sent 7500 a week ago. Then sent a terrible letter of the type return otherwise to the court we will submit, only yesterday settled, exchanged acts of swirls and voila)) today they again sent to the account 7500. How is it called? What is Ping Pong?

Drunk in the ass.

Not being able to drink alcohol because of a sore throat, 58-year-old Texasman Mike Warner infused it rectally. With the help of his wife and a clist, he poured 3 liters of herese into himself.

The level of alcohol in his blood was 6 times higher than the permissible norm and the man died from anal alcoholism.

The child broke the glasses, bought new ones from the boxer in the electric car, did not fade over the style, only to see. I went out with my husband for a walk in the evening, he decided to criticize them.
(M) You do not get this form of repair.
(I) UGU, there will be time - I will order new ones.
(M) You don’t get that shape at all, you look like them... like Krupska, here.
(I) UGU... (I won’t argue why to spoil the mood)
The dispute went out of itself.
We walk past the sport club, the guys in kimono are seen in the window.
Who is the coach today?
(I) – Something coach doesn’t see at all... – I get closer to the window. The coach rises from the floor, who appears to have been well applied, the eyes are opened, the mouth is cut, the hair is torn.
(I) – Oh, Vova, it seemed to have failed to fall, something he looked so frightened, as if he had seen his grandmother ghost.
M is here! I told you that in these glasses you can scare anyone.

He runs faster than me... luckily.

I have been working for 5 years in a large financial company. The company employs about 200 people. The director is a very tough man. In the company there is a whole list of rules and regulations, and don't let God break, the "brain removal" begins. Once again, we do not go to the boss's office, we try not to get him in the eyes. There would be a possibility, I would change the job, but look for another thing.



And here one day the boss called our employee Svet (the single mother), and after a half-hour conversation she came out all in tears and shaking hands, she was literally shaking. Her colleagues barely reassured her, and she told me what was going on. A year ago, Svetta had a trouble - her son was ill (7 years old), he was found oncology. For a year she treated him in the best clinic of the country (well in Moscow we work). Treatment does not help, you need to go to Germany, well, accordingly, you need money. He needed 8 million. She began looking for buyers for her apartment.

And here she is called by the boss and in the office gives a paid check for treatment in Germany, well, and a vacation with an open date. The boss, whom we all considered unhealthy, gave her 8 million. From my pocket. Well, I all know what happens if this is an extra-class specialist. This is how an ordinary employee helps. We respected him after that.