bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №49292
 23.06.2011
Names of firms:
Distributed optics students to practice. The absolute majority expressed the desire to work in OJSC Vibrator.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №49291
 23.06.2011
Good day.
You are called from the Platinum Bank.
Wait a few seconds and you will be connected to the operator.
and pause.
All operators are busy, stay on the line.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №49290
 23.06.2011
I saw the file yesterday. The guy jumping through the turniket in the subway, spilled a bunch of little things out of his pocket (50 rubles). It no longer makes sense to collect. A police officer has already been nominated for him........the cost is paid twice =))

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №49289
 23.06.2011
Look what a romance! A couple on the wheel of sight kisses.
I would have a girl more.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №49288
 23.06.2011
In Ryazan, an airstrike destroyed a building materials store and a car "Moskvich-2141".
The Mi-26 helicopter was carrying construction household. For unknown reasons, a metal door and other details fell from it.

"Vagon doors fold in the steppe" (c) Pasternak

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №49287
 23.06.2011
Continuing with biology.
To our anonymous reader who answered a question about the umbilical cord and asked "But I’m worried about something else. Why do men have nipples?" we answer.
Until a certain time, all embryos develop as girls. Then if the embryo has the y-chromosome, the formation of the female organs stops and the shame begins: the embryos of the ovaries descend below and gradually develop into the testicles; the embryos of the genital lips cluster (there is that scar at the bottom of the scrotum - it is from the grown genital lips); the development of the mammary glands stops (although, when introduced to a man of female hormones in large quantities, the breasts can grow, which are used by transsexuals, indeed, milk can not produce - underdeveloped); and further male hormones form other characteristic features for the male body.
Such jokes of Mother Nature gave feminists the opportunity to shout out about “all men are imperfect women,” and to the chauvinist men about “all women are underworked men.”
Thank you for being with us, look forward to the new releases.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №49286
 23.06.2011
On the mailbox is written with a mark: no need for advertising. Below, the pen is already: we need Fedya, we need.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №49285
 23.06.2011
I lie down, the neighbors are noisy, they don’t let me sleep.
I think I’ll knock on the wall.
I attached the book to the wall so that the wall itself would not be melted, and how fucking!
In the silence clearly heard: "O Lord"...
xxxh: for the first time felt the power over the senior %)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №49284
 23.06.2011
The matter was at work. One of the signatures is undisclosed, it needs to be decrypted. The whole department was wise, if you disassemble by the letters - the warehouser comes out of Pi. Something is doubtful.
I wanted to call the store first and clarify the name. Then presented it.
- Hi, question on the signature in the billboard, do you have a warehouse in Pygo?
- You know, they are here all of us Piazas, and warehouses, and cargoes...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №49283
 23.06.2011
I didn’t want to go to school, I got up and went there.
I don’t want to go to the universe, I turned to the other side.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №49282
 23.06.2011
Eugene Vadimovich entered
Evgeny Vadimovich: Max roars and mosques, he's looking for you
Eugene Vadimovich is now known as Eugenia.
*Eugenia=^_^ = Vadimovna has entered
Q-Max has entered
Q_Max: is there a guy like this, a joke, didn’t run through?
Evgenia=^_^=Vadimovna>Q_Max: did not see, dear :)
Q_Max is bad
Max is out.
DarkOs>Eugenia=^_^=Vadimovna: well you are a master :D

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №49281
 23.06.2011
You know McDack's advertisement, well which "Daddy, I really need" and daddy pulls his son out of the car, so here, I initially thought they were fucking asking...

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №49280
 23.06.2011
Zadiak: Siddhartha, drove a kursak, killed almost the whole day
zadiak: Near the mole flies, flies, sits on the finish button...
Zadiak: Well killed, hule =

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №49279
 23.06.2011
That’s shit, I said asleep.
yyy: no, it's not shit, it was shit when I was drinking, and in the morning they found that the doors to the kitchen and the balcony were replaced.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №49278
 23.06.2011
Do you know why she didn’t play guitar?
Did she have problems with her legs?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №49277
 23.06.2011
XXX: Let’s move on!
YYY: as a member?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №49276
 23.06.2011
Peter, early evening, in the city center. In the vicinity of the Mukhin School (now the art academy). There are a lot of filmmakers, they are shooting another net. I sit in the cafe and with a boring sight, I look at it all, nothing predicted trouble... well the movies, well they are filming. However, a bite of coffee stuck in the throat when a black man came out of a movie truck in the costume of a White Guard officer of the Civil War, and also in sunglasses on half-face...Here is a free production of the White Guard")))

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №49275
 23.06.2011
Status in contact:
"Ten years have passed" British scientists have established that almost none of the Russian people can read this phrase, as it will take 10 years.
The comments:
xxx: for this there is the letter “yo”
ууу: in literature (in books, textbooks), as a rule," y" is not placed anywhere=)
Zzz: What does the letter Y have to do with it? The emphasis should be on and

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №49274
 23.06.2011
I bought my own shampoo. It seems that the eyes are not sprinkled. I decided to try yesterday. Today, it was like in the fog, and it was like I was crying all night.
Yyy: So you were crying all night.
Have you tried to close your eyes when you wash your head?
XXX: No, you did not understand. I wanted to see if he really shut his eyes. I did not wash my head.
What a brave
XXX: You don’t know how I did it yet.
YYY: How is it?
xxx: I told you that the shampoo can be worn instead of the antiphog for swimming glasses? Here I am, my ones. Then he poured shamun into them, put on his glasses, threw his head up and opened his eyes.
Tagged: fucking
YYY: You are
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYY: in the vacuum cleaner there for example or a pipe
I rarely do anything if I’m not sure of success.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №49273
 23.06.2011
The mother told them that at work, the boss was riding somewhere beyond the border on a business trip and decided to bring a present to his daughter. Of course, I remembered at the last moment at Deuti-Fri at the airport. As he rushed to the plane, he grabbed the first smells, not smelling. Next is the story of this boss himself about the smell:
“When she (daughter) breathes a little, it’s like cats are chewing. And when it smells strongly, it’s like cats have sucked!

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