Sberbank has officially warned all of its clients that it has no Security Service.

I drove once, a couple of years ago, in a trolleybus on May 9, quite late, probably on the last. There were five people in the cabin, everyone was driving peacefully and clinged to the phones. A slightly empty man of the 50s came in, sat on the back seat, a conductor approached him and asked to pay for the trip. Mudachok at first cuddled on the topic that "his father fought", the conductor quietly continued to say that his world was his father, but the trip must be paid. After that, the bastard pulled a little bit out of his pocket and just threw it on the floor. The driver cried quietly. She did not scream, did not argue, but stood, shutting her face with her hands. The trolleybus was driving. Suddenly one of the men stood up, approached the driver and asked to open the back door. The trolleybus stood up and the door opened. As the man walked to the rear seat, another silently stood up. And they both, without saying anything, took him for the belt and belt, and just threw the plasma on the asphalt. I hope that this wise man gave himself all he could at the moment of landing. After that, they also silently picked up the little stuff from the floor and gave it to the conductor. How lucky that we still have such men!

Last summer I worked a week in a remote location. A place isolated chose specifically, at the same time and to rest in silence, unload. Fortunately, of all the neighbors on the street, there was only one family on the right. I did not bother anyone throughout the week, in the afternoon I sat with a note on the veranda and quietly crafted myself on various projects, in the evenings dreamingly pulled a whisker on the balcony, enjoying the loneliness, the country silence, the shell of the forest and the birds. But the housewife of the neighboring country decided to arrange a Sabbat girl. Not just a sabotage! A bunch of ladies arrived, everyone was forced around by cars, chats, or, gogots, music grimmed so that in a house with closed windows, the head was pierced through. I went for a walk, I come back after midnight - the show is in the midst. Very polite asked to behave quieter, or at least to transfer the fun to the other half of their country, outside the house. The drunk hostess sent me amusingly, stating, "at my country with my girlfriends, I want to do that and I do not make a decree."

Ok to Ok.

I’m not going to argue with my wife, right?

I calmly went on to walk. Night walks have their charm. In the morning, at 6 o’clock, the goulens were drunk, squeezed, and fell to sleep right in the pavilion and on the lawn, they could not get to the house.

And I remembered that we should cut the lawn, we so agreed with the tenant.

He opened the sarai, got his beautiful Honda, filled it and let us bring the beauty.

Can you imagine what sounds a dog-size gasoline grinder makes at 6 a.m.?

Oh, how did they beg for the fence to stop. They asked, even cried, shouted, threatened, mocked, promised that their husbands would come to me now for a breakup, even tried to climb to me to fight, but drunken didn't work, the ladies were very upset.

And I cut. Until nine in the morning.

Why not wear a hat in winter?

1st The hat does not guarantee 100% protection against frost.

2nd I don’t trust Russian hats.

Three We are forced to wear hats to teach us to be submissive.

4 is Even if you once helped a hat, next winter you will have to wear it again. The hat is ineffective.

5 is The body itself develops an addiction to the frost, it is not necessary to interfere with it by wearing a hat.

XXX: Refusing vaccination is a difficult path. Do we need lungs?

The solitary is a cautious creature. You can’t get him in the same place with a cake.

It has been noted that in the last few days the cat is rapidly running out of food. During the trial, it turned out that the cat invented a scheme by which he guards each family member in the kitchen alone, pretends that his mother did not feed him, and asks for food. He has been eating lunch three times for several days.
That is, he specifically did not ask for food at all, so as not to burn, and waited for the time when other family members would go somewhere: out on the street or in the more remote parts of the apartment.
The manipulator.

Can a domestic vaccine be considered effective if a person is vaccinated, and he does not want to vote for United Russia anyway?

XXX: I’m not a movie.

YYY: But what?

xxx: but you can look at my end

I don’t like short films.

At first we were afraid of covid, then vaccines, and now we have to be afraid of the vaccinated. They will everywhere and freely and without masks and crowds scatter their virus across the country.

I work for one company in Europe, filling out long questionnaires about myself. One point: the race to which you are classified. I am a programmer, but not a fool, I read newspapers. I know that being white is not very profitable. But to call himself black, the hand does not rise. Fortunately, there is an option - a mixed race (the Indians there some or something else). Calling from HR: what a joke? I am justified that I am not educated in this matter, we, I say, in school, in the USSR, racism was not taught: how to correctly divide people. The HR officer long snoops: well - you will be mixed!

- Rabinovich, why do most deputies do nothing for the good of Russia?
Interference in the internal affairs of Russia by foreign nationals is prohibited by law.

There was a beautiful, long-legged blonde. Communicated occasionally, sometimes intersected, beer drinks went, I was mostly lazy to take care of her, she was with claims, flowers of a taxi and all that, so I did not try, and she did not initiate. But still, like an ordinary person, I sometimes just wanted to drink a beer. After one such meeting with beer, she asked to spend the night, some relatives went there, the children gave them the best places, and her ancestors drove to sleep somewhere in the summer kitchen on a mattress on the floor. I lived alone at the time, in my own monastery as a king, and slept on a large double bed. I agreed in principle without hesitation. Not every day long-legged blondes come to bed with you.

Well, in general, I cooked dinner, the table was covered, the romantic brought up as it could. We got tired, it was time to go to bed, I gave her a shower towel, everything seemed to go to sex.

And then she declares that she is really very tired, does not sleep with guests, feels bad, only wants to sleep and urges me not to stick. Without hands and anything.

Okay, I thought, the lady asks. She really needs to stay overnight. I’ll go gentlemen and sleep.

In general, she washed, hung her drying clothes on a towel dryer and jumped into bed in one towel. I followed her and slept safely.

tk. The final post for the League of Fools is obvious.

In the morning she woke up first, rather dressed up and stated that I was not a man, not even trying to get her, went offended knocking the door.

I was young and beautiful, with outstanding shapes that even in a bag of clothes, they still "look out." We had a shop of building materials "Molotok", where my friend worked. And in front of him, closer to the stop, there was an island where "girls" stood at night. Once I ran to a girlfriend to work and talked to her until dark. I stand at a stop, near the “island”, a car comes in, and from there the guy asks, “Do you work?” I say, “Yes” (I recently got my first job). He asked, “How much? “” I announced the promised salary. He replied, “Nihrana, is it for the night? What time is it?” I stand, I think, I count, I thumb. He said, “Okay, and how much to suck?” Here I understood...

In the tenth, I served in the now liquidated office aimed at fighting drug crime. The schedule of work was treacherous, in the best case, the day after day (the day after day they went for searches and detentions, and mostly at night, and the other two days worked). In order to prevent the staff from running through the roof, the boss allowed us to drive home at night and break up at the call of the guard if necessary. The Winter. I wake up from the call of the police officer: "Name of the river, dress up, go out, the car is following you, we have 3 searches." I am a decent person, I don't like to be waiting for me, isolated and stepped out on the street, so as not to relocate the family. I wait for the frost, so as not to miss the car and at least a little hollow after a deep sleep phase. 3 o’clock at night, from the cold, reduces what is not provided by the female nature. After 40 minutes, I get a cell phone and call the officer with a pretext: "What artist, I say to him with the utmost indignation, I am standing in the street for an hour, and the car is not there? “” The officer was a little surprised and said he didn’t call me at all. The courtyard at that moment was illuminated by the right flame of my popcorn, but the cheek suggested that the history of incoming calls should be checked, which naturally turned out to be empty. I dreamed too realistically. This officer long suspected me of the use of expert doctors.

The higher the boss, the less often he asks from himself and the more often from you.

It was 2000 and the historian taught us a lesson on Christianity.
And at one point she says: Who knows when Christ died?
I am a bit educated in this matter pulling my hand: 1967 years ago. (Citing from Christmas of Christ)
It’s wrong, 2000 years ago.
I: Not because...
She: "Breaks" look at this idiot, doesn't know and goes to prove.
You are an idiot, count it.
She is out of class, hamlo.

Then there was the call of the mother to school, and the suspension from lessons for a quarter.

Thank you Elena Mikhailovna for teaching me that there are a lot of idiots among teachers too :)

The most frequent question on a direct line with Putin was the question "Do I need a QR-code when collecting a valley?"

Xxx: A friend said that side effects from vaccination are AIDS and homosexuality. After the vaccination, he didn’t talk to me. People with medical education work in a hospital.



Yyy: You won’t become homosexual after vaccination if you start sleeping with men before vaccination!



Zzz: You’re walking on the ohuenly rainbow ice.

The tables in the cafe "without masks do not serve", similar to the "shorts and cowards do not remove" in the toilets