bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128659
 27.05.2016
The supermarket.
I was ordered to buy a washing machine. Well, as they ordered, they said to shoot the shelf and send it out. It is not my responsibility to decide which to take.
I approach the shelf. I begin to photograph. Suddenly, a man standing next to me, touches me in the face with his phone and says:
Do you want me to send you pictures of all the people who are there? by вотсап. I have a full gallery. Each bottle on two sides, a big plan. Why do you suffer?
No, thank you, I just told you to send a panoramic.
Of course, the lucky man.
“Buddy too, but thank you for the suggestion, a great idea, with вотсап.
– Oh, but it’s not my idea, do you see outside that that photographs the laundry powder? It was he who sent me. And now I have a photo session in baby food begins, I went.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128658
 27.05.2016
Why take prohibitive laws every day when you can write everything that is permitted on a single sheet.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128657
 27.05.2016
The sun is a thermonuclear reactor. The Spherical. In the vacuum.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128656
 27.05.2016
Why dismiss him if the next one is exactly the same? Even more hungry. What is the point of changing the soap? In words, everyone is against theft, and in fact, all these hackugs come out of the people, not from the planet Nibiru. First, people must be taught not to steal, at least in small things. Do not pull from factories and offices, do not throw the benches from parks to the country and so on. And then, after a few generations, maybe the situation will improve. And with mentality like now, even shootings will not help.
– is
Like a wall of grass.
If a person steals, he must be fired, tried, proved guilty and jailed in accordance with the law.
and all.
What is the blunt of the unintelligible?? to
How do you hope to get over a generation or ten generations of officials who will not steal if you are not going to do anything with those who are already stealing?
What a stupid mentality, fucking.
You may also tell us why laws are needed and why they should be observed?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128655
 27.05.2016
News: Two military F-18s collided on Thursday in the sky near the coast of North Carolina in the east of the United States
1st comment: The attempt to create the F-36 from two F-18s failed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128654
 27.05.2016
Have you watched "The Irony of Fate"?
YYY: I think yes =)
XXX: I reviewed it in January. I have reached the age of the protagonists. This gave the story a new colour. They are all idiots.
Xxx: Very disgusting

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №128653
 27.05.2016
My girlfriend is half Russian, half Armenian, from childhood speaks both languages freely, has a purely Slavic appearance (my mom’s genes won). She works in a coffee shop, has a pretty lush chest.

Two young Armenians come to us, approach the stand, order coffee. As I cook it, they begin to discuss my chest in Armenian. I, preparing the order, stretch their glasses and with a sweet smile in Armenian, say to them:
I know Armenian.
They had five copecks of eyes, stumbled, looked around. I am in Russian:
I am joking.
They breathed out, smiled and I again added in Armenian:
Per it is worth learning.
They left the coffee shop in a quick step, forgetting to give up.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128652
 27.05.2016
I don’t read for a long time and I think of the primary source of burning cheese-bor, but as far as the landscapes are concerned, I will say that I also have the Red Book before the bulb: landscapes are perfectly cultivated on the most throwing soil, where there is no light or nutrients. Somewhere in the shadow behind the bathroom, to put it simply. They are there personally mine, grow more than any weed and their real green carpet. No, well, the pebbles on the rotten six regularly come to the forest to wreck for the sale of flowers, and the desire to load them with a spade on the hill I generally share, but this does not prevent me from saying that the breeding of these flowers will protect them from extinction as reliably as possible, and they are very simple to divorce. Like a fuck or a jerk.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128651
 27.05.2016
This is:

So that bribes don’t interest me. I personally have a million a month.

In a month:
What is it? I will be angry! I have sworn to never touch the metals with my fingers. But if the disgusting laymen pour all kinds of shit into this pocket... and this pocket... then they take the sin on their souls.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128650
 27.05.2016
xxx: they are directly overwhelming with the obsession of recommendations )))
xxx: by the way! ))))
Yesterday I searched for weight in Yandex.
So here. Yesterday and today I’ve been offered weights on all websites... it’s understandable and okay would be... But fucking! )))
XXX: I am offering floor platform weights!! for warehouses )) which from 10 kg to 10 tons )))))))))
xxx: I think it’s an insult! ))))
Yyy: This is a hint)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128649
 27.05.2016
I'll go, I'll put my hands on me, I'll be alone.
Do not laugh!! to
XHH: What is it?
Are you a member again?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №128648
 27.05.2016
Comments on YouTube video - Red Alert 3 Soviet March (10 hours):

I complained about this video on July 4, so that they could see it there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128647
 27.05.2016
A computer will not replace a human until it learns how to transfer all the work to another computer.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128646
 27.05.2016
I just realized what I like to do the most in life.
Eat, sleep and have sex.
xxx: It was necessary to have three higher education to understand this.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128645
 27.05.2016
PM: Yes, I will only have a weak 3G from the internet until tomorrow, so if there are any urgent things, ask now.
How can a general field theory be formulated without contradictions and with sufficient completeness?
Dev2: What is the meaning of life?
Dev3: How to get to the library?
Dev4: A screw in the eye?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128644
 27.05.2016
xxx: "Thanks to the developments of scientists from Hannover, robots will learn to feel pain."
I look forward to when I can make the coffee machine suffer.
Yyy: You’re too irritable and aggressive, it’s because of coffee.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128643
 27.05.2016
Why don’t you go to bed in the morning like on vacation?
- Well... The ray of the sun, having passed 150 million km, reflected from the thumb and accurately charged my eye. and :(

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128642
 27.05.2016
Added to:

The largest iPhone assembler replaced 60,000 workers with robots

XXX: So why should it be? Robots are more expensive, you can't feed them with rice, they require energy, except that they work 4 hours a day more than a person.
YYY: Work faster, better quality, 24 hours a day. They don’t go to the toilet, don’t get sick, don’t get killed and don’t go to court. They do not need training and do not go on vacation.
to continue?
ZZZ: No, we still get sick, die and require training. And yes yes.
XXX continues on. Working from the rotor, zero is spent on their production?
WWW: How much is spent on human production?
QQQ: 5 minutes and 9 months

To 5 minutes and 9 months of human production, add at least 16 years of programming.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128641
 27.05.2016
XXX is:
and short. Take a netbook for 5k. Melchor in it. And we get a great home combine for the amount of the router. Possibility of upgrading. Let’s say today he has a strung waffle on H, tomorrow for 500 rubles bought him a card on C and no problems.
YYY :
Uncle, I want to work, for love pleasures I have a wife.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128640
 27.05.2016
Breasts, breasts, breasts, like small, the right word...

Say "Let me express your admiration: Your bust is truly enchanting!", you correct the monocle, you chew your teeth...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna