bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113673
 20.05.2015
My son, go home!
I’ll play for another 10 minutes.
You did not understand? to home!
“Mom, I’m a fashion DJ, there’s a full club, but let’s play, welcome!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113672
 20.05.2015
I have seen, I tell you the truth! I saw that He had already sharpened His crushing blades! I saw that He had already poured gasoline into half a barrel of beer! I saw that He had already put new batteries in His alarm clock! On Saturday at dawn, it will be at your windows! A man with a gasoline!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113671
 20.05.2015
Nikita Mikhalkov completed the process of patenting all words in all of his films.
And he got the right to claim 1% for every use of them anywhere.

Moreover, the burden of proof that the contested word has nothing to do with a particular film is imposed on the copyright infringer.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113670
 20.05.2015
The main thing is not to drop the box on your leg.
YYY: but it is better to guard the head, the leg is duplicated, the evolution is like the ass.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113669
 20.05.2015
We are united by unrealistic dreams.
2: O_o
Do you want to explore space on a spacecraft?
1: Breakfast in the morning.
2: Yes, this is also

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113668
 20.05.2015
xxx: a friend once wrote a text message to his son (wheels for the car brought and salad leaves had to be bought in the food): "Wheels brought, you will return - buy me herbs", and sent by mistake to his boss, he replied:"I always knew that you were torching on something"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113667
 20.05.2015
I go to work with my brother in his car on the street with far from the best asphalt cover. On the left, between the parked cars, a dog comes out, the brother slows down - little will blink into the head of the animal. And the dog departing from the cars to the center of the road half a meter sits "on a large" almost above the hole.
Look what he creates!
The roads are shit! and :-)
A large repair...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113666
 20.05.2015
I talked good today. Our client is D.G. They talked so deeply)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113665
 20.05.2015
How is 4D? O_0
It’s like a chair and a chair, and it’s like smoke in your face and like water, and it’s like an accident in a movie, and you’re like a fucking chair and you’re like a fucking chair!! to
somehow so)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113664
 20.05.2015
Quote from the summary:

“Work: It doesn’t matter, it’s very needed.”
“Why do I get to work – I’m sick with the computer?”
I know everything, I know everything, if I don’t know, I learn quickly. The problem is that there is no time.”
Special information: no bad habits.
“I read English freely, I write with mistakes, I speak badly, I hear the eye. Badly »
“Genius drawer from God, I will fill any texts so that they are starry. Plus, if desired, correction and editing (also brilliant). People are crying of joy watching my work.”
“I drink, but without fanaticism.”
“The job is next to the subway, I’m not an athlete, I’m not going to run.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113663
 20.05.2015
I entered somehow in the affairs of the organization, in which I worked 5 years ago, and they have a check from KUMI (Communal Property Management Committee). And (P) the router asks the (R) employee:
Q: Do you not wash the toilet at all? You have a mosquito scattered on the wall. This is not pleasant to visitors.
A: Every day the cleaner washes. He was probably killed today.
And I’m standing and thinking "soft steel", t.k. I killed him... While I was still working here.)

[ + 28 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113662
 20.05.2015
Blabbled

Who and in what of your wet erotic dreams gave you such nonsense? I will reveal to you a little terrible secret: they do not have sex on their own, they can do without it for years. They just do a favor for a subsequent reward. Very expensive usually. The need for sex as such exists only in men.
++++++++++++++
Oh oh oh oh oh. And the vibrators, heavily advertised even on this site, and the coffee in bed are taken, and the movie is taken. "For the subsequent reward" You would go out smoking at school not at every biologist class, you would not write here like that.
____
And the vibrators therefore are advertised that sex with most men is "tolerate two minutes while he is shot and catch up in the bathroom with a vibrator". No pleasure, only moral loss. Naturally, without such "sex" you can go for years and go for it is only worth a little bit.
But the fucking man says he’s in bed zero! Apocalypse and fucking on the fan right away!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113661
 20.05.2015
A dog under the window. Today I watched a plastic edge: a man with a royal pudel tried to greet his hand with a man with a shepherd at the same time, to hold his dog and turn away from a stranger jumping on him. When he succeeded, I realized that my uncle was a superman!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113660
 20.05.2015
I accidentally came across my idea of integrals, in the middle of the first course:

[0:15:06] Mike: I understood
[0:15:13] Mike: the essence of integrals
[0:15:18] Mike: So is it
Mike: We have some methods to solve integrals
[0:15:45] Mike: Let us have an integral
[0:15:50] Mike: pretty difficult
[0:16:41] Mike: but taking approximately 2-3 cm in length of the typical font
Mike: Then we take one of the methods
[0:17:21] Mike: we replace the steep twist with the differentiated integrate and do something else with the variables
[0:17:53] Mike: and we get a full shit in the form of a fraction on 3 rows of notebook with small fonts
Mike: If we get a fuck, we’re close to the goal
Now we have to find a way out of this shit.
[0:19:14] Mike: You need to reconcile something with something or integrate something else there
Mike: And then we’ll get another shit but no integral sign.
[0:19:32] Mike: Ah yes
[0:19:41] Mike: and the most important thing at the end to write +c

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113659
 20.05.2015
xxx: I even saw a picture on the internet where the girl on the manicure depicts a printed board tracing.
Yyy: F.V., say, and if so come to the exam, will it help to pass?
XHH: You are not. But Catherine has a chance, but will have to talk to me about the type of installation of elements and the number of layers in her nails.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113658
 20.05.2015
Filed to:damp
Programming: Making a snapshot
Programming: Slow Backup
The boss leaves the chat.
Developed by: EM SOP

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113657
 20.05.2015
“Until I was six years old, Metterlink continued, I was raised by a continuous series of Irish governants who spoke English, according to my uncle, better than the English themselves. I spoke French with my uncle and his partners; I learned Flemish from the servants. So, from a young age, I understood the danger of categorical statements, since there were at least three ways to say something.

YYY: In the armed forces, I was taught about seven languages. The rest I knew before.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113656
 20.05.2015
I decided to connect the mouse to the phone.
and Nahua?
- Yeah fuck knows, clean sweat wanted, and she fuck - and earned o_o

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №113655
 20.05.2015
Comments to the news "Gamer girl gave birth in a computer club"
Smookey: Unity is created.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113654
 20.05.2015
The xxx:
An engineer died and went to hell. Soon he stopped arranging the level of comfort in hell, and he took up improvements. He went into the furthest corner of hell and said:
I am here.

YYYY :
Did I use this computer for you?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna