bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №23398
 07.12.2009
A friend worked in a polygraphy, says:
We bought, therefore, a printer for the printing of photo collages (on canvas) computers in the office one, and it has already connected three printers, respectively, this is the fourth...
The facts:
The employees use the printer for personal purposes.
Printers are easy to confuse.)
The metro map on the canvas looks spectacular.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №23397
 07.12.2009
Blind, a Russian week in Maca, bought a cake. It was written with cherry, it was with meat :(

[ + 56 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23396
 07.12.2009
Off-Border
Why does the word three sound the same in many languages?
Off-Border
Exactly three
Off-Border
Three, trio, track, English so it looks like
Pasha
Three, Three
Interestingly...
Off-Border
Oga
Pasha
Well, about "forty" I’m actually killing this mystery!
Off-Border
What about forty?
Pasha
Look at the sequence:

Two to twenty.
Three – thirty

Five to fifty.
Six to sixty.

Why? → Why forty? Why not forty? Why not 40???? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №23395
 07.12.2009
In every plus there are a few minuses. and :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №23394
 07.12.2009
The year 1983.
In Estonia recently started to produce beautiful plastic bags similar to imported, at first there was only 3-4 patterns and many went with similar ones. We had the same half-group at the institute.
After the lessons, they went to the self-service store and left a package with conscripts on the table before entering the shopping hall. They left the room, picked up their bags again and went on to walk. After 15-20 minutes, I feel like something is wrong with the package. I have a bottle of vodka in my bag.
In the first five minutes I roasted with a comrade representing the face of a guy who now opens my bag at home and finds condiments instead of vodka.
We came back to the store and there too, everything was crazy - a guy just left looking for a package of vodka in the store. I was given his address, he left, and went to him to exchange packages.
Such a surprised and grateful look as he had when he met me with his package, I had never seen again in my life.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №23393
 07.12.2009
Ilya on a friend's wedding pushed his girlfriend so that she didn't catch the bouquet.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №23392
 07.12.2009
My mom burned. She generally knows that I had a date with the boy and that he disappeared at some point. He comes in today and says "You don’t get offended... but maybe your p. It is blue." The holy naivety. No, she is not blue. He is pyro!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №23391
 07.12.2009
The fourth thing you can look at forever is how the printer prints your curriculum.

[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23390
 07.12.2009
by Acrid31:
Fuck...it is urgent to stop cooking food, start eating rollon and pelmeni...not cleaning in the apartment, and not washing...then I will become a real man?

and Olga:
Fuck, I am a man! ?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №23389
 07.12.2009
by Fuck! Well, what scruff wrote a marker on the monitor "In an accident, pull out the cable, pull out the glass"? It is impossible to work...

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №23388
 07.12.2009
One day my wife and I were invited to a wedding.
And here, she shows me a girl with a 5 bust size and a big decoult, look, say, what. I say "Yes, good." All, you didn’t talk to me all night, like go to that cow, once you liked it.
The next evening, we seemed to be reconciled, we went to bed and I, the fool, laughed, "Those yesterday five were very big, and today three, but small."
I didn’t give it a week. :)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №23387
 07.12.2009
KHH: Of course, some people can’t buy.

For everyone else, there is a MasterCard.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №23386
 07.12.2009
Putin is always out of sight.
I watched the live broadcast. A woman is calling. Grit said I have diabetes, and there are no free medicines in the pharmacy. What to do?
Putin was not confused and issued: "A few years ago, there were no free medicines at all. Now we have multiplied! This is..."
It is only me taught in school that if zero is multiplied by any number it will be zero?!? to
Indeed, it is a burnt-out and a people...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №23385
 07.12.2009
Tagged with FAR'a:

User: If you copy files from the left panel to the right, the progress bar grows (filled) from left to right. Is it possible to make the option that when copying / moving from the right to the left panel the progress bar grows from right to left?

Admin: It is not funny.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №23384
 07.12.2009
We are not afraid of the swine flu!!Because we are blue ?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №23383
 07.12.2009
The Medical Forum:

Question: What happens if I lose my virginity with a vibrator?

The doctor’s answer: There will be no virgin straw.

Now we know about the profession of K.O.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №23382
 07.12.2009
Verified by personal experience.
If you want to invite a girl to watch a movie, NOT in order to watch a movie, then know that Twilight is absolutely not suitable for this :(

[ + 83 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23381
 07.12.2009
Mother learnt to read the history of messages in aske... Bliaaaaaaaaa! She would have better found the porn folder. [...]

by V2208

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №23380
 06.12.2009
I have a super seat! She’s asleep, next to her bed there’s a boxer, on the boxer there’s candy in an open bag (sister bought it), my phone charger and other stuff. And here I climb for the charging and accidentally plunge a candy ball right on it. She wakes up and looks at me in confusion.I expected to hear anything in the style of what I am a bad fool, etc.As anyone else would say in her place, but she said take a candy if you want!!! Continue to sleep.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №23379
 06.12.2009
I recently entered the office, and there a colleague calls someone on the phone and calls just when I went in. I hear the following words from my colleague:
Q: Hello, is this the Mendeleev table?
There is something responding.
Q: I would like allyic acid.
Answer something again.
Q: Okay, I’m waiting, connect...

It turned out that he called the chemistry store “Mendeleev’s Table” and then waited for him to be switched to another manager.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna