and Mom? Don’t worry, I’m in the hospital.

You have been working as a doctor for more than 8 years. Please stop, start every call with this phrase.

D: Today weights show a whole kilogram less than yesterday!
Q: In the conditions of a sloping surface they can give a similar error, let's try on a flat floor?
D: I can’t take that risk!! to

On the first day of the fast, a guard approaches our candlestick with an offer to listen to a joke. This is his post! What a joke... And he – so I’ll posthumously tell – about fish!

What looks like the average commentary under the recipe on a culinary forum: cooked everything according to the recipe, only instead of chicken took fish, instead of mushrooms put bananas, and instead of parmesan - brunch. I decided not to quench and boil (because this is more useful), salt was not added, but added to its taste cinnamon, vanilla sugar and green onion. It turned out to be complete shit - it is not eaten at all, even a cat has not been eaten. Damn your recipe, the author minus.
Fedosoff

A long time ago, when mobile phones just started to appear massively in the population, I came to a friend of acquaintances to set up a computer. While I was crawling with the computer, my cell phone was on my desk and I was constantly ringing.

Dialogue with the hostess:

You have a phone.

The owner called me, and I found my phone in the bus.

...??? to

I am not going to return, I need it.

Can I put a new SIMC?

Why Why?

Looking in the honest eyes of Arkady Dvorkovich, I understand that compared to him, Serdyukov is just a small scammer.

My father came to visit from another city, I am so right for him I try to appear, and hostess, and at work I work, and study in parallel. Decided to take a winch this case to note, I go to the alcoholic supermarket, I stand at the box office, the seller takes the wine, I stretch for the passport to show that I already have 18 and here she is like the whole store: "Girl, you are what, what passport, you have us a constant buyer. I know you in the face as a mother.”

A girl calls my uncle with an offer to buy a vacuum cleaner. He said, “Take a pen and paper. Write down: Cigarettes in packs, cutting objects...” She said, “Why do I need it?” He said: “This is the beginning of a list of items that cannot be transferred to prison. It’s for your parents, write, write...” She said, “What is the prison here?” He said, “You called the prosecutor’s office. The short hips.

I worked in a small office where they were constantly asked to go out to work on weekends. Since I was a new employee, the boss asked me:

Do you want to work on Saturday?

I can’t on Saturday, I have a Sabbath.

Q. Are you a Jew? (The chief was a Jew and was already glad that he found a landlord.)

Saturday is Jewish.

Maybe then on Sunday?

I go to church on Sunday (I replied)

Zzz: There are buses in Omsk.
Buses carry passengers and their owners pay taxes.
Because of taxes, inefficiency and other costs, they get some price of one trip, close to 30 rubles.
Local authorities understand that at 30 rubles per ticket people will revolt and burn the Administration, so they limited the price to 18 rubles.
In order for bus owners not to hang themselves, driving passengers to a loss, the municipality promises to pay them for each passenger the difference between the actual price and 18 rubles.
There are still retirees and other beneficiaries who have to travel by buses for free (this can not be cancelled, see. The burning of the administration. The local authorities also pledged to pay for them.
But the local authorities have poverty and dogs, so they do not pay.
Buses bring losses, go into debt, they stop selling gasoline, they massively rise up. Omiches do not burn the Administration just because there is nothing to get to it.

Who is to blame? The private carriers. Those who drive 18 and do not burn, because they are cleverly away from taxes. To solve this problem is planned by removing from the streets "gasels" by means of terror. I don’t know where the logic is.

Then they ask me why I consider the state a superfluous institution.

I was six or seven years old when this story happened. We lived not far from the school, and the place where all the local spaniards gathered in their free time was the school stadium. Played there football or defeated the old stone fence, or walked into the old warehouse with school equipment, from where the old iron nuclei were dragged for throwing, didn't get bored, shorter. Through this stadium and slope in the fence was a trail, which was closer to go to the desired area than to bypass the whole school, and next to this trail in the rain was a huge slope. And here, somehow, I picked up a bunch of pebbles, I stand by this pebble, and I throw these stones into it, it is so fascinating - to watch the dirty splashes fly out, directly charming, and I look, a young man goes, I can't say, really, what age, but not a teenager, all in the light, shirt and pants, looked at me, and said - don't drop. I have a huge stone over my head. He passes by the pit, and why I still threw the stone, I don’t know. I dropped, and stuck, I look like this guy, all in dirty drops, looks at me and approaches. I was terribly frightened, I thought - a trumpet to me. And he approached, gently raised me on his arms, you know, as the husband holds the bride in the pictures, and put it straight into this pit. He returned and left. and all. I was crying out of anger for a day, probably two in a row. Long years of life! I stopped being shit because of you.

With the years, some professions die, others emerge. Now a person with the vocation to be a tram conductor is forced to be hired as a TV host.

It happened in 94-95. He returned from a comrade living in a neighboring house, a suburb, a cane. It was already dark, early autumn, if the memory does not betray. The mood is so blatant...
I wave myself through the bushes and strike a glance at the rolling TT. Okay Tt, it goes well. God knows why he passed by, he didn’t even sink, even though the path was a meter wide. Probably my thoughts already occupied some meter-in-a-half movement. Noise and flashes.
I get closer - on the entrance door, my neighbor on top is resting. Judging by the bloodshed, it is the final rest. Around a piece of four cars PPS, minted with a circle. They stood, smoked and discussed the picture. What moved me when I heard “PMs found, holes are different,” to ask if they don’t need another gun?
The menta resurrected immediately, let’s go, say, show... showed. They liked that much more than me. attracted to.
Here I was struck by the thought that even if the body of a neighbor is not hanged on me, because the alibi (although, given the fact that he lived on top, flooded, tapped - my candidacy for murderers is the first), then I will definitely spend the night in the closet. I trembled immediately. And quietly, the gardens to Cotovsky. Mint was just before me, the machine admired...
The next morning, the TV-Six "Road Patrol" told that a murder of a businessman took place on the street ***. At the scene of the murder was found <...> Subsequently, a search dog found a second gun nearby.
So they called me a dog. The searching. In general, he was with him, most importantly, he was not closed in the volley!

The main thing is not to argue with Morocco before the New Year.

Children in school build food chain
The top is a lion that eats a singer.

> Write, I will answer you, idiot!

Bro, how I understand you!
Here I have coders the cat cried, the project is burning, everyone is sitting, writing, even smoke from his ass.
No, la, diru has to portray the stormy activity—he holds on and: "What are you doing right now? And you? What about you?"
Fuck, Jiro was specially configured to send you all notifications to the mail! Everyone answered your questions with the exact text of the ticket! How to waste time?

The evening. The Moscow Clinic. There is a yellow couple, under 70 years old, waiting for their turn to the therapist. Suddenly an elderly lady says to her husband:

Something is ringing in my ears!

A man looks at the clock at 19:25 and says:

It’s a night call, my dear.

We long chatted.

Quote from a correspondence with my colleague:
There is no porn, except for the episode when an ordinary green crocodile makes a schoolgirl a cunnilingus.
I’ll cut those words in marble. :D

Signed on Facebook for one friend, a commercial account. Constantly posts about sex, girls, men. Well, and advertising, spells, horoscopes, photos of all this. And here this morning, among beautiful jeeps, sleepy dads, intriguing headlines, a new theme:
How to Recover 21 GB After the November Update for Windows 10

XXX: the piton was not only invented by the reptiles, but also named in their honor.