bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82765
 11.06.2013
A point of a large resource:

Chronic fatigue syndrome affects not only physical health, but also leaves a mark on the character of a person, turning a cheerful and sociable person into a dark philanthropist.

Thus, you can imagine a dark, evil personality doing charity at night, and fun and sociable people taking money in every way.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82764
 11.06.2013
4 backpacks is not a guarantee of safety.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82763
 11.06.2013
There is one comrade at work, somewhat ambiguous and not a standard concept. In general, it does not seem to be a traditional orientation.
Not a long time ago:
He came in shorts to the office. I met the head of the department, who is not afraid to joke in case.
You cannot walk in shorts.
Why Why? Girls can wear shirts.
Wash your feet and then go.

He has this option arranged, walks in shorts...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №82762
 11.06.2013
Alexandr: [link to map, goolo, 39]
Alexandr: sold almost across the road
I: Well, how to say, across the road, considering that I’m on a goolo 16...
Alexandr: Gogol 39 minus Gogol 16
Alexandr: 23 googles in total
Alexandr: 46 Googles

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82761
 11.06.2013
I sit and play a compass. A man comes back and glides his head. Congratulations with surprise. Husband: What were you afraid of?
I: You steal like a cat... quietly.
M: So why do you wake up at night from my steps?
At night, you turn from a cat to an elephant.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82760
 11.06.2013
xxx: short on the mechanics he got a ticket about precession and its application, on his face it can be seen that he got
I tell him, tell him about the gyroscopes.
xxx: so he managed to answer the preacher with a very serious look that the action of the horoscope is based on the phenomenon of precession.
yyy: but it cleared the situation)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82759
 11.06.2013
I came across an article about my first day at the office, I read:

The computer will be given to you as it will be free – accept it. Most offices have an internal upgrade system. If you know for sure that you only need a new unit, twice elegantly disable this one. The loss of important data will precisely go through IT-snipers, they will write a query and beat out a new one for you.

Nothing to add.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №82758
 11.06.2013
... and singing "Love me tender" sits to prepare a competition application.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82757
 11.06.2013
here here :
xxx:blin lived together 13 years, little 11
And she stopped satisfying me in sex.
XXX: Three months there was nothing.
What to do for divorce?
YYY: You know, I think you should apply for a divorce.
When your wife begins to satisfy someone else in sex
It is...
Man, so you decide, or she does not give (i.e. There is no sex at all) or not satisfying (sex was, but you did not like it).
To talk to your wife on this topic without emotions, of course, is not fate (may she herself wore a dull ebun, which fucking fucked her and does not satisfy).
As the problem grows in the family, is it easier to divorce than to solve it?
Here is respect for the right thoughts.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82756
 11.06.2013
The tower becomes a platform for discussions of good and crazy teachers, some are preparing for lectures, others are not. Bad teachings call good shit, and good teachings do not descend to their level. Only good lectures produce specialists, and foolish ones produce underteaches.

And finally:
I am my wretched road.
I have been leading for a long time.
Even to spit on the enemy.
I am not putting shit in my mouth.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №82755
 11.06.2013
Comments on the news about the holding of the "Alkie Parusa 2013":
Merchants will be asked not to sell alcohol to graduates, but they, as practice shows, will still be drunk.

XXX: Yes, the merchants are still alkashi

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82754
 11.06.2013
I made a deep bikini.! to
YYY: How are you feeling?? to
I am a naked man!!! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82753
 11.06.2013
I am a teacher. And I always prepare for classes and exams: I make a class plan for a particular group, read current works on the topic, make a list of problem issues. Because science doesn’t stand still while someone lies on the couch. And my students are not given the dry theory I used many years ago (step left-right shooting), but the opportunity to immediately apply their knowledge. What in the end? As a result, they come with burning eyes, realizing that I am not lazy and trying for them. And they also try, all the obligatory and all the dop. Literature is honored. Questions are asked, written in extra-curricular time, want to communicate even after the end of the course... I am a teacher, ah.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №82752
 11.06.2013
So why doesn’t anyone make winlocks with Darth Vader? You turn on the computer and there you are Darth Vader, the Imperial March and a request to send SMS to help the imperial strike jets make a star of death.)
___
That’s why porn movies are so boring. People who do such things rarely get enough.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №82751
 11.06.2013
to this:
The summer. Thin girls wear loose, light, long dresses, thick clothes stretch the stretching, tight, short all crazy!

Didn't it come to mind that he just wasn't wearing normal clothes? And it is not because they are dressed so that they burn with the desire to expose their fat, but because they are selling either tanks, while the leopard with roses and straws (as if overweight people automatically lose all sense of taste), or normal clothes up to size 48 - and all. No, well you can find - but the fox, like a grain of gold, washed the entire beach.

If you did not give birth, did not drink hormones, did not try to find clothes for yourself - go off the beach, unhappy. Just look at the slugs. Did you get fat?


[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82750
 11.06.2013
HHH: It is great! Do you know what happened to my phone yesterday?
So you are him.
Q: Did you break your cell phone?! to
WOW: Well, how I broke it... I moved it into flight mode. He threw and oral: "TRANSFORM YOU, FUCK!!and "

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82749
 11.06.2013
What is Winnie Pooh and Everything, Everything, Everything?
- Probably from bear nails, pig feathers, rabbit ears, donkey tails, tiger eggs, sheep feathers, kangaroo bags, well and on, in order - a stabilizer, emulgator, taste enhancer...
It is terrible to think of how Christopher Robin was involved in this.
He is a producer.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82748
 11.06.2013
At 6 a.m. from the railway train.
He: yes, at 18:10 c Kazansky
It is "Yes"
She: I was afflicted

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82747
 11.06.2013
I remember when I was in 6th grade when I spoke in Russian, everything was rotting.
YYY "Purple in Russian" is impressive. What other languages do you know?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82746
 11.06.2013
Service in the hospital. Late in the evening, a woman runs out of the room and cries:
The Doctor! rather than! The Doctor!
What happened to you?
There was a man sick in the room.
–...

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