The pig will fight for the mayor of the American city
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We found something to surprise!
We have the whole livestock garden, then the goat, then the lamb, then the cock.

So, to the state-of-the-art students of military colleges, I very much even advise Janice on nurses. The profession is literally everywhere.

— — —
Especially when in a military town there is a clinic for three offices, including a dentistry, a two-chamber hospital and five beds, and 90 such clever military - from praporters to colonels, married to nurses.

As a child, I was jealous of Barbie because she had breasts and I didn’t. Now I have the fifth size, now let this fool be jealous.

I washed the terrarium today, changed the soil, poured fresh water, put fresh cucumbers.
What about the beast?
The hole dropped out of food and began to explore the surroundings.
I complain to my husband:
Why does the beast not eat food? Where did she go?
The husband:
She thinks "Where? All of it? What about"

Answers

Q: Do you think it’s normal for 14-year-olds to have sex?! to
NN: I don’t think of course. Who will satisfy the goats?

In Peter on some roads were found bordures.
The road services urgently began to replace them with railways.
p.s The joke
This is a picture of only part of the road and the sidewalk.
The comments:
1st Peter is
2nd How did you guess?
1st So clearly it is seen that the rebrands, not the bordures.

Luck - a lady of dubious origin with a shit reputation, who does not hate to spend time with all kinds of pups.

A friend told me.
His daughter was sick in a kindergarten. I had to go from work to bring him to the hospital, on the way to go for my wife. There is no place to park near your wife’s job – there is no place for an apple to fall. He stood up on the “accident” second row (!) Sign “Stop is prohibited”. And there, with a pleasant sight, the haishniks rush to him (what a day!) is
Good morning Sergeant Petrov. We violate?!...
Oh, I am waiting for you! A friend went to a w-bank.
In the sense...?
- Well, here is a bit of shit (showing an old scratch on the bumper) and washed. I called 02 and have been waiting for two hours.
No, it’s not with us...
Why not to you??? Are you a selection group?
No, it is not us. Wait for your crew.
You can form too! Should I wait three hours?
No No No No No No No No No No No No! They jump into a patrol car and quickly drop.

“Oh you, the dollar is not 67 rubles, but 51. “Let’s cut prices by a quarter.” None of the sellers said.

You are so unhappy.
Why is?
You are not living the way I am, you are living the wrong way, you are unhappy.
But I am very happy, I am satisfied.
The poor woman doesn’t even understand what she is saying.

In the Ash.
She: I am angry with you! RRRR is very evil! When will you repair me?
It is his own fault! We never get to him, but stop in the area of the couch, and then you know.
She: This time very naughty... plyijijizzi.
He is good. I will come now.
She is: Oh. You are not in haste. Fuck the clock. I have to prepare.
He is: What?
She: Well... the dust from the computer shake, take a shower...

The Uncle of Zebub Li - 17246. Do not confuse hot with soft, please. One thing is when your employee does not fulfill the terms of the contract (read the contract), or he disrupts your activity (read, deprives the company of revenue). The other is when he refuses to go to a demonstration dedicated to the first, or any other holiday. In the first case, the dismissal is understandable. In the second case, administrative pressure is unjustified.

On the second birthday, my son was given a runner-up, it was in the winter. On the May holidays, the husband decided to go to the park with his son and a runner-up. He says, "Son, you have grown up, the saddle must be raised!" The child is serious:" And the pedals must be made."

Maybe a beer?
Irene, you are an alchemist!
There are many hidden qualities in me. There is nowhere to hide the shortcomings.)

There was another joke:
xxx: a guy after 4 months after delayed payment for the ball found me in the ash and began tearfully asking to look for backups
xxx: well I explain to him anyway, we have expensive resources, we usually remove immediately
XXX: then Bach, I see and he is not removed Ooh
xxx: well, and I chuvacu say the possibility to recover to eat, but you have to pay for all months of standing 30% of the amount
XXX: And yes, he paid
xxx: and then I realized that my laziness is sometimes rewarded)))

Food with sticks is cheap.
When you can’t, you can buy cheap. And when you treat them freely, the food is tasty and authentic.
I even drink tea!

by SUDA:
and----
What is a total dictatorship?
Regional Yandex news, re-printing the headline of one respected Voronezh newspaper: In Voronezh, a 29-year-old man jumped down from the balcony on the sixth floor.
Go down!! Not upwards, like all normal people, but downwards.
and----
A great lie! The man did not go down, but forward. Gravity, if it is wrong.

To this to this:

to this:
And I remember the story of a German (well, it came out) who doesn’t even know "Out of the homeland! For Stalin!", not "Ura!". But he clearly remembers that after "Bl#!" the infantry attacked, and after "Your mother!" there was usually an artillery.

Did you get the German?! to

And why does the author have to get a grandfather, 70 years later, forced by his government to fight? The elderly should be weighed. Even after the fight with the fists.

My mother lost her job a year before her retirement. For a couple of weeks she burned, and then asked me to print the "visit cards" on ordinary paper. I walked around the house to turn around the circles, entered every building where I saw the office, offered hot home lunches, left my “visit cards.” On the same day in one place interested, ordered for a test, and already cooking mother knows! In general, every working day she put a pot with borsch in a bag on wheels, the second, compot and went to work peacefully. Then she was invited home to clean up and prepare dinner. She earned there twice as much as in her old place, and sometimes even three times, if "special orders". She still regrets that she hasn't resigned five years earlier, says she would have collected a bunch of money...

A time machine is a computer connected to the Internet. A car that takes time.