bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106674
 11.12.2014
x: I have such a flexible mind that at work I switch the layout with CTRL+Shift, and at home - Alt+Shift)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106673
 11.12.2014
I thought the loudest noise possible in our dining room was when the seven-children were eating breakfast.
was wrong. There was a meeting of Republican librarians.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106672
 11.12.2014
Minister of laundry and laundry Medinsky made my day today, stating that he will not give more money for films about the “Rashka-gowniaška”. Stated in St. Petersburg, in the "Bookvoede", at the St. Petersburg Cultural Forum. That, I will tell you, is the level.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106671
 11.12.2014
Transportation of dogs on motorcycles.
Q: In which country do we go?
In the RF of course!
Only a cat can.
WOW: What is the fundamental difference?! to
She has nine lives, it will be useful ;-)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №106670
 11.12.2014
by Zloradskij:
I propose to classify:
1. as it used to be - the work of anyone is cheaper to replace with a robot at this stage of development of robotics.
As a fool - anybody, not even a robot is needed to replace, but enough bulldozer level unit.
3. as a degenerate - any, the main activity of which in general no one needs or has a negation. The Economist. of value (e.g. and criminals)

Obviously, prostitutes do not fall into any of the subhuman categories (and therefore are full-fledged people), while the overwhelming majority of officials and politicians, on the contrary, are the lowest. This demonstrates the realism and viability of this model.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106669
 11.12.2014
with geektimes: A quantum point on a semiconductor, if you want to be more formal. This, by the way, is also not a very successful name: a quantum point is not a “point” in the sense that its radiation is not a point.

Quantum dots are not dots, artificial atoms are not atoms, pandas do not belong to the panda family, and almonds, cherries and peaches are strawberries. Terminology is like that.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106668
 11.12.2014
The gender disputes. My wife, a smart-beautiful woman periodically sang a quote from the song: "If you want to tell me a word - try to use your mouth." I suggest you try this principle.

Regarding the diplomas - I do not have a diploma on the OV, worked as a carrier and at the same company now import manager, I communicate with foreigners, I make orders, the company has grown in 3.5 times. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get it or strive for it. You need to work your head and not be afraid to take on new initiatives.

The Eye of Sauron. Well what you wanted. Russia is on its knees. Returns to religious obscurity and the tsarist regime with ophricity. It is the fault of every reader and not only.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106667
 11.12.2014
The world would be better without us.
Let’s jump from the roof.
Tagged with: go?
ur4k: go, I just got snow.
Q4: I remember my childhood.
How many floors do you have?
U4K: one

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106666
 11.12.2014
<...> Attention, question: what else will the RPC prohibit us tomorrow? Buying products in the store during the post? Listening to music besides church music? Wearing the shorts?
= is
The train No. 666 Moscow - Ostashkov was renamed No. 624.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106665
 11.12.2014
Uncle in childhood got to the hospital and in the morning passed through grandmother a note to relatives that I need to bring..... in the evening brought everything and notes... and?? It turns out that they read the word knife.)... a teenager who has nothing to do with music, having got into the hospital, asks to bring NOTES! Instead of rushing to the hospital for a mental health check, they went to the store and bought notes.
<><><>><>>
My parents thought like this joke:
Can I play the violin after the operation?
Of course!
I didn’t know before the operation, but now I can.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №106664
 11.12.2014
Stupidity of course.
He roared like a horse.

"The Untouched Chewbacks Chew the Buyer" ))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106663
 11.12.2014
And otherwise how to explain that an adult man, who is over 30, is not able to build his family, because he likes to live with his parents on all the way, and he doesn't want to hit his head with serious affairs, and his mother is justifiable.
— — —
This is strange. I am 30 years old and I live with my mother and a disabled brother. I work only I. Married, after a couple of years divorced, the reasons were above the roof.. Here I think to myself, whether you are talking about me or not about me.. Because the only way available to me "to meet" now and immediately, "to build my family", is to throw them and crown from the ship. There are few circumstances in life.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106662
 11.12.2014
Looking for a bus for a corporation, we call one of the offices (example dialogue):
- We need a bus in 2 weeks, we need to pick up one person at one end of the city, another at another, and then the rest.
Do you have a funeral?
......

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106661
 11.12.2014
Sorry for the delay, someone stole my compass.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106660
 11.12.2014
The meaning of the work of a good teacher is to teach the child, and the bad - to evaluate.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №106659
 11.12.2014
My wife came home after a long trip. I went to work in the morning and said to her:
Do not turn on my computer. What you see, you may not like.
I come home in the evening, and she’s angry. I ask :
What happened?
She says:
I turned on your computer. She slept all day, thinking about porn or correspondence with her mistress. There is nothing!
And you did not like it?
Well yes!
I have warned!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №106658
 11.12.2014
04 December 2014
by Putin:
I ask the Bank of Russia and the government to take tough, coordinated action to deter the hunt of so-called speculators to play on the fluctuations of the Russian currency. And what I would like to say in this regard: the authorities know who these speculators are, and the tools to influence them are there, it is time to use these tools.

05 December 2014
Chubais was taken to the hospital with a fracture of both hands.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106657
 11.12.2014
Application to helpdesk
Users Today at 09:27

You can't print papers again, please do something.
Letters fall off the paper at the output of the printer!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106656
 11.12.2014
XXX is shaken! Heroes III will be released for iPad and Android tablets.
YYY: The Tales!
Sent from my Windows Phone

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106655
 11.12.2014
From Corporate Chat
Q: Who has children?
See also: +
Is the cat counted?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna