bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113293
 12.05.2015
A husband to his wife, looking at a capricious two-year-old child: What do you think when he stops pretending to be small?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113292
 12.05.2015
LIFE from trouble.

Trouble, trouble and nervousness.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113291
 12.05.2015
>>> man was virtually on the verge of madness all these damned hundred or two hundred meters...
For the first time, I remember, I walked all the way "mama, mom"
Many times I don’t even remember how I got there, all like in the fog.

I spoke recently with a man. I told him how he went to paintball. As he started, he ran over, looked around, shot, looked around. He shot again.
In 2000, a man stormed the Minute Square in Grozny. He listened to me a long time and smiled. In the end he said, "In short, I will not take you with me in the attack."
Fuck them. He is more visible.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №113290
 12.05.2015
To all those who argue about the influence of the movie "Maleficent" on the psychic of children:

The rating of the tape is 12+ and "Parental presence is recommended".

If you are a parent, be present. And explain all the complex, incomprehensible or simply “wrong” scenes from your point of view. Talk to the child. Speak to. Tell "what the author wanted to say" and what you think about it. Bring your point of view on this world, (uncertain article), since you are a parent.

Or it turns out straight classic "we don’t like how television raises our children, let’s ban bad channels".

And the age after 12 years is precisely the time when the child can already understand that the world is not divided into black and white, and artistic characters can have complex. Multiple characteristics.

Mother of a 9-year-old girl.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113289
 12.05.2015
M@ry > I don’t know what I want more. And the maid is good, but I need a dress... And there are more clay boots!
Mr. proud > Well you’ll decide how to do it.
M@ry > Don’t go crazy, or I won’t buy anything at all!!! to
Mr. proud > Are you threatening me now? and :)
M@ry > Damn..

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113288
 12.05.2015
I remember, the fellow girl was chewing in very original clothes and brought offgenic snacks, then salads, then pets. Her mother did not work, and her father was a military officer. Once again, considering her update - a very interesting style, and even the buttons were sewn different, under the color of the strips, said that her mother has no price.
and yes! She agreed heavily. – My mom is great!
Do you want to wear your daughter too? And cooking the same?! to
There was horror in her eyes.
No, for no reason, never! Washing, washing and cooking.I will never be a housewife.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №113287
 12.05.2015
As shown by:

The men, wow! Are you still here? Do you think your wife wants to work or not?
-
Well I am. I say for myself – I don’t want my wife to work because: 1) I want to find cleanliness, comfort and dinner there when I come home from work in the evening; 2) I consider it unfair to her to require her to do all this and to go to work.
--------
1) He was asked what his wife wanted, he replied what he wanted.
2) To do something at home alone - a thousand, it wasn't a baron!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113286
 12.05.2015
and Oroua:

<...> What to do if suddenly this situation, and you have experience only washing, smoothing, and cooking food?
It is ===
You can, for example, open a mini-hotel, a hostel, or as it is called there.
But, of course, crying and complaining about life is much easier.
/////////////////////////////
Yes, without initial capital, administrative experience or at least some business education, immediately open a hotel and wash, smooth, cook! Because that’s the most important thing in the hotel business, ah. With such skills only to hire a cleaner in an existing hotel, and they can not take without hotel experience in this business.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113285
 12.05.2015
- [12.5.2015, 08:56]: I kneeled without any special problems and removed the starter. There was an effort of about 350 nm (if not more). To remove the bulb from place.
- [12.5.2015, 09:11]: Nifiga what data... I when the shift turned off I had to attach a pipe and spell -ohebenarotdanihera secure

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113284
 12.05.2015
This is:

In a real equal relationship, a man will not make a woman a gift more expensive than she has the opportunity to give him in return.
and...
Do not confuse equality with equality. Or do you think a woman should have time to work at home and make money?

And about gifts... with your own hands holy and broken shell with initials, how will you appreciate it? Materials for pennies, and many days of manual work.
and...
In an equal relationship, both partners can both work at home and earn money. My wife and I are both engineers and we work in different companies. Work at home is divided roughly equally and completely interchangeable. In slippery situations (I am bad with cooking, and my wife had a tough day) I order to eat something delicious for the house: both are full, at the same time variety, or we go somewhere in the cafe. It is necessary to understand that work at home is an inevitable evil, so to drop it on someone, if both work, at least there is disrespect for the partner. And working and conducting a farm is not a nonsense for a long time, so does every first independent person.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113283
 12.05.2015
I work in the polar circle. We have a driver, Madeleine. He brings a 5 litre bottle, begins to cut off the top. I ask if they gathered? by Kalyan! brought a stone, pushed it there...I grum, how will you smoke it? Why do you smoke? – Why do you smoke? Kalanchoe to catch!
p.s The fish are like that, the fish will understand.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113282
 12.05.2015
Mother of you! I am at the post office to send an ordered letter. A crowd of pensioners with packages of receipts. People are full, the window is natural, one. The tail has already climbed behind me. Pensioners, next to Sberbank, what fucking deal with your tickets to the mail!?!Oh, how they all went out! We went, we went and we will go, and you are not a decree to us here!" In the bank, the receipts will be replaced, the delivery will not be given, and the receipts are fake!
"Why are they fake?"
"Because the ink burns out of the ticket, after a year it is no longer visible!"
There is an offer - let then letters and packages Sberbank issue!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113281
 12.05.2015
What did our great-grandparents shout when they came to attack?
I remember a conversation with my grandfather. About "Ura, and for Stalin" said about this...
When you get up from the pit and run away, you experience universal horror and fear.
It is only one thing to get up and run and it is expensive, many were kicked up and the commanders raised guns and guns.
The man was virtually on the verge of madness all those damned hundred or two hundred meters.
For the first time, I remember, I walked all the way "mama, mom"
Many times I don’t even remember how I got there, all like in the fog.
After... when it seemed like "mama" was ashamed to scream, oral matto, and didn't even understand what.
Madness, fear, anger, can this be said again?
(He was very proud of it. That EIGHT months was at the forefront before being injured, when an average of THREE MONTHS and... or in the hospital, or at the hospital...) was called in 1943, was 18 years old...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113280
 12.05.2015
I can't wash my favorite cat from the oil.
-------------------
and easy.
1st and breem.
2nd We washed out.
Three We give her forgiveness.
4 is ...??? to
5 is Profit to!! to

As an option - after item 2, we sell as a sphinx and buy five new cats.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №113279
 12.05.2015
The Gold Words:

It is necessary to understand that work at home is an inevitable evil, so to drop it on someone, if both work, at least there is disrespect for the partner.

In the frame and on the wall. And some would put their back on their foreheads to read in the mirror every morning.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113278
 12.05.2015
"Ura!" was also not possible - they shouted "Guga!" the Germans were overwhelmed when they heard this scream - there were mortals who had nothing to lose.

The Idiot. This is a fictional film by Guga. No one ever spoke like that. They were mostly screaming.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113277
 12.05.2015
Officials are such a subtype of humans who believe that the process of prosperity of the country must inevitably begin with them.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113276
 12.05.2015
The Immortal

This little story happened exactly a year ago, on May 9, in the city of Tula, at a city parade.
Music was played, bouquets were flashing, dressed villas were not in a hurry to advance.
On Lenin’s prospectus floated an endless order of black and white immortal heroes of that war. All young, strong, beautiful, almost alive. And each of them, with a wooden hand, led his grandson or grandson.
Suddenly, one girl suddenly gave her grandfather to her mother and quickly disappeared in the crowd.
The girl was named Natasha, and for a moment it seemed to her that somewhere in the crowd, over her heads, her grandfather whispered. The same smile, the same cheeks, and the same medals.
Natasha struggled to get through the dense column and finally found what she was looking for: some cheeky boy, ten years old, actually carried a photo of her native grandfather. The girl immediately recognized her, because the photo was the only one, the grandfather sent her from the front and soon died.
Natasha was stunned by the righteous rage. What an abomination! Even the name has not changed!
She rushed to the cheeky man and began to tear out a poster with his heroic grandfather.
But the boy, not bothered at all, did not escape, he kicked Natasha off and began to fight desperately for his transparency.
Natasha’s mother came to help.

Let go of it, Gaddafi! Where did you get that, unconscious? It is ours! People come here with photos of their grandparents, not strangers! Give it here, the man!

The boy, left without a poster, helplessly cried and began to shout, “Mom! by Mamma! They took it!”
The crowd broke up and out of it came the angry mother of the boy:

What is it about?! Are you crazy, lady? Give it here! What a fuck for the child!? to
What? what? You must be ashamed! What are you teaching your son? Printed someone else’s portrait, attached to a rod and forward to the parade?! Where did you get our photo?
Are you an unusual? Yes, this is my grandfather – Sorokin Peter Polykarpovich!
How is? How is yours? But he’s mine... too.
Meaning of yours...? So, what are you, daughter of Nicholas?
and I? Yes... A?
You and I are cousins. I wanted to find one of yours a hundred years ago, but one, another...
- Meet you, children, you are brother and sister, three-born, but nothing, anyway for our grandfather we are all one big family...

A year has passed since then, but the two families have managed to become very close together and become one. They now don’t even imagine how they lived before, hardly knowing about each other’s existence.
And today, Peter Polykarpovich Sorokin will lead to the parade of his grandchildren, but only without quarrels and grievances, because his wooden hand will be enough for everyone.
He is a true immortal hero.
Seventy years later, he died and still keeps his entire family in his fist.

P.S

Holidays to all of you! Remember and cry.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №113275
 12.05.2015
In principle, I’m normal to travel to work, but waiting 8 hours to go back is really tired.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №113274
 12.05.2015
Do I know why I work when I am married? In order not to sink, sitting at home, and not to turn into a clown, with which to talk about nothing but diapers, recipes and snacks. Even so that the children had an example in front of their eyes, that both dad and mom are good specialists, people needed by society. That mom is not an attachment to dad, but an equally valuable, self-sufficient person. And so that, if it is not godly, what will happen to my husband - I could raise the children, and my husband treatment / care to provide (this is if the worst thing did not happen), and not run to look for another bulatink. Together - so together and in health, and in impotence, and if I have no qualification, then who will my husband count on in case of what? I will not leave him with a straw or vegetable, the only question is whether we will survive in poverty, or I will be able to preserve a decent life for our family, if anything happens.

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