bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №98353
 23.05.2014
Relating to the former:
– – – – –
Have you consulted a person before making a decision about his life? "Yatakresilasa, but now it is your head will hurt how to solve this problem"
I propose to put “mama” on the spot, buying the child and her ticket to the entrance to Disneyland, for “tomorrow”. Give the child to the mother. Let herself explain why she can’t take her child to Paris by paying for the plane and hotel tickets, and getting a Schengen visa in 12 hours. Do not punish the child with disagreements with the former, and when she breaks out for five minutes, offer to take the child to himself, for example, in a month. Would you want to go too? Let yourself travel and documents, it is not for her, but "for the child".
The child cannot say no, let him learn not to say yes.
– – – – –
Fighting with the former is like throwing a shit: even if it melted, it was all gone. Minimize communication to "hello/so far/understand yourself" - and you will be happy. If you are a good father, regularly see your child and he sees that you are not a fool - no sting will convince him. If you’re stupid, don’t you care?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98352
 23.05.2014
Commentary on the permit for driving robots

Searches in the future:
How to get a root on a car
- download the firmware to pass on flashing green and yellow light;
Incorporate the outputs;
- permission to turn to the left from the extreme right strip;
and etc.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98351
 23.05.2014
Writing with a friend.

She: Yesterday at home I managed to fuck about the doorstep. by Ibn Spina.
Now I have such a long bleach in the spine area, it smells like a tattoo. very beautiful. And now it will be yellow and green, and there will be a look at all.

I: Listen, maybe you were cursed? Well, that’s what... (the girl just broke her legs).

She: It is not cursed, it is called in ordinary people "Razyebayka". I even know where it all comes from within me.
A person whose mother in the country rides in rubber boots in the bathroom in order to find out whether the ice is frozen or not, I think there are no other options.

Her sister, by the way, also began to appear, but she does not break herself. The world around you. A man who in one (one) week managed to burn two new ones (!!!) Microwaves, one multivark and one stove, I applaud standing.
Now the whole family is wondering which side it will take next. The fire of fire, as if it had already conquered us.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98350
 23.05.2014
What do you think of this offer?

"Hermatising the garage from nutria, by stretching with a metal sheet"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №98349
 23.05.2014
What is the "unity of SI"?
One roll of Blue Isolate.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98348
 23.05.2014
The urn burned in the smoking room. smoke-smell.we put it out on the street and we stood-smoking.a tortured colleague comes out of the office, fills all this matter with water from the theater, with a breath asks "Well, the horses will not jump anywhere?" and floats back into the office. We are standing, rugged))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98347
 23.05.2014
From the topic on how to straighten the wire:

xxx: the length of the section is attached to the door pen, the other end is pulled with passages. a little stretch and become flat, then cut
YYY: I did this once, but I actually attached it to the heating battery.
YYY: Removed the battery

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98346
 23.05.2014
Lentach: Rospotrebnadzor prohibited sugar and chips in children's camps
Lentach: How children will drink beer without chips, the ministry did not specify.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98345
 23.05.2014
First comment to the video with Michael Jackson, holographically speaking at the Billboard Music Awards 2014:
Indeed the Resurrection!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98344
 23.05.2014
The child dog:
When I was a child and pulled all the life that I met home to my mother, there was one condition for me: I deal with the problems that arose with life myself. I clean my clothes and loaves myself, feed on time, walk out on time, and so on. A good lesson of responsibility.
So the father from the original quote was right in something, upset that not even one, but two dogs are hanging on him. You just need to tell the child that a dog is not a toy. He would care for his breakfast on his own, so, god, the second would not want, even for a while. I would have refused the first.
But no one thought about it, everybody immediately began to mess "babi idiots, men of goats"!)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98343
 23.05.2014
Did you know that your brother believes Louis Armstrong was the first man on the moon?

Yyy: Ask him if Armstrong played a saxophone while he was there.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №98342
 23.05.2014
I explain:

I hope that those packers who stick the label on a piece of cheese right on the edge of the envelope film or stick the label directly on the knot of the bundled package will get into the hell!
Start breaking the cheese and breaking the packaging!
You start getting the cookies and break the package.
Do they do it specifically?! to
Or is it meant that I eat all the cheese at once and no longer need to wrap it?
P.S Is it only me that worries???
--------
This is done so that especially smart buyers do not unlock the package and report cookies. Or do not "divide" cheese and do not wrap it in a film with this price a piece larger. Believe me, there are people who do that. Just keep your bags at home so that there is a possibility to move/sleep. I, for example, when I buy cheese, I immediately cut it all into slices and clean it in a plastic container and with a cover. And the sausage too. I wanted, I opened, I took what I needed, I closed, I cleaned.
All of you BOBRA!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98341
 23.05.2014
Okay, I went to eat chocolate and play the devil.
Are you cheating on cookies?
HHH: There is no peanut, they will not know. In other words, we live once. The Buddhists, indeed, are not pophug, they are not once.
The lucky bastards.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98340
 23.05.2014
The Chairman:

At one time, I got a very good job just because I always put on work costumes (although we don’t have a dress code) and smoothly shaved. And all my colleagues walked unbarred, buttered, as if they came out of an elephant's ass, well, who has peels, whose teeth are yellow. It doesn’t seem critical, but everything looks very unclear. And here you need to communicate with investors, with large customers, and all the good specialists look like... hipsters, gently speaking. And since it was not necessary to fully introduce investors and customers into the essence of the workflow, I was chosen with my little experience. People of a certain status and foundation would simply not understand why this unbrushed mint creature is the best specialist. In their concept, a drug addict / alkas / tunead, and not the chief engineer, can walk like that. Therefore, you can cry out as much as you want that you are free to walk as you want, but do not be offended afterwards by the fact that you have to reap such bitter fruits of your "freedom."

Judging by your post, the chief engineer of your office should only walk in a suit and face trouble. Must be, so it is. Who is so intelligent and literate will allow important documents to be drawn up.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98339
 23.05.2014
The clip of mr. Leningrad on youtube, perform at the stadium and the drummer was a face to the rest of the musicians (back to part of the audience)
One of the comments:

The drummer wavered of happiness. For the first time he sees not the ass, but the faces of musicians

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98338
 23.05.2014
Vadim: fucking... Leha, go to church, clean up karma... Maybe something will change.)
Vadim: in your worldview
Maybe some light will appear. Summer is coming.
Al: In the church? The karma? Officially
Al: Could it be better to clean the chakras in the synagogue?
Vadim: So you are an atheist. Don’t you know where to go and what to clean?
Vadim: You can go to the bar and then clean your stomach.
Al: As an atheist, I want to clean the earth of religious debris. And foods, including alcohol, I try not to translate.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №98337
 23.05.2014
This is:

At the end of May we take a dog from friends for three weeks. They go on vacation.
Do you have two dogs in your house?
- Well, the child wants, she likes this dog (3 nursery photos of the watsap)
How does this matter to me?
“My mom won’t come to us, she doesn’t like dogs, you know.
Do you mean that the second dog is now my problem?
Yes, I’ll have to sit with the child while I’m working. Promote the dogs.
One day after three? When will I work?
Come up with something. This is for the child!

----------

What did you think when you married her? Or did she pretend to be normal? Or is it in the process of life? Is this inherited or acquired?
Really interesting.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №98336
 23.05.2014
It is not the citizens who have to adjust to the existing conditions, you know? These conditions must be changed so that everyone is comfortable. Let it work! If it is so difficult, let the work process reorganize. What else can I say here? The state is for the citizens, not the citizens for the state, even if this is too banal and generalized.
– – – –
There is no need to incite extremism with the use of technical means. So you agree before the people are the primary source of power.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №98335
 23.05.2014
Prof. Sleep: Hi
Novel: The Cook
by Eviil Malkavian
Prof. Sleep: Priud
by Andrey Rueda)
Tagged: Abu Dhabi
Dmitry U-K!
Taz: you listened to the miniature "Aitishniki in the native habitat"

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №98334
 23.05.2014
Advice to the fighters against parking on the sidewalks and lawns: if you are not in trouble, buy a pack of seeds on the market, and pigeons to help you. It’s more humane than burning and scratching innocent cars.

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