bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №113233
 11.05.2015
The story was posted on her FB page by Julia Egger:

I translated one conversation today because I happened to be there.
Location of Vienna.
The interlocutors:
Vladimir Raspolychin, a veteran who liberated Vienna in 1925, now lives in Vienna.
The Austrian, 1936, lives in Vienna.
The situation: an Austrian approaches the veteran and tries to speak Russian, the veteran does not understand a word, but tries to disassemble. I just stood by and helped with the translation.
The dialogue:
A: I am a Jew.
V. V. RI am Russian
A: I have to tell you something. My parents and grandparents died in Treblinka. I went to a children’s camp in Austria. I want to tell you... pause. I have to tell you... pause. I have to tell you, I want to tell you, I have to thank you. I can only thank you because of you. If the Soviet troops had arrived a few days later, I would not have stood here now and picked up the words to say to you. I know what I have to say! Thanks for my life.

The Austrian, who was almost 80, stood in front of our veteran, who was almost 90, as if he had hurt a boy. They didn’t cry, they didn’t hold hands, they didn’t hug each other. They just remained silent for a long time. One was 20, the other 9. As in April 1945.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №113232
 11.05.2015
No matter what happens, no matter how hard it is, remember, all pooher.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113231
 11.05.2015
Hachu pajalavatsa on Daldora OOO "hchhhhhhhhhhhh" is a samurai. I arranged for them to work. I was asked to write an insult. The director alleged that the diploma was bought at the mine. What right does he have to do so? He holds the hand of Laval. The Diploma of Mines!! I am not a phylologist, I am an ecanist. I ask you to take all measures against the H.H. gazdin. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113230
 11.05.2015
by dir_for_live
You do not understand.
I spent a whole year in a student nightclub. Right under my floor, a concrete plate, was their ceiling. And every night they started with it. And every morning, at five o’clock, they ended up with this. Paul has jumped. And I jumped, lying on this floor.
But he survived. And the Roma with the Beasts did not annoy me. I even sing.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113229
 11.05.2015
How is life?
I even fly with the spring.
How is it?
To fly like a faner over Paris, with my salary I can’t afford. Maximum as an organ. Even if the prize is given.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113228
 11.05.2015
When I need to buy something, I either study faces or forums for a couple of hours. Or I immediately find the store in the search engine and buy. And the next day, Yandex wakes up and starts showing advertisements. Poor Yasha is not ready for what someone can buy without long searches :)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113227
 11.05.2015
This is:

What do you know about epic files?
The real epic is when you look for one bug in the code and find another :)

What a cute, you’re the first couple of months missing, right? This is not an epic file, it’s an ordinary event, especially if you don’t stick to TDD. Even with TDD, there is no.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113226
 11.05.2015
Somewhere in the early 2000s, my girlfriend went to school as a painting teacher. Firstly, the drawing there was even in the high school, secondly, the majority of children came to the lessons of drawing even without paper. What they did there before her, and the naphiga in general in this school was painting lessons, I do not know. But some month after getting to work, a friend was told that the children should draw something about tolerance. If the junior classes painted mostly a black and white child holding hands, then the senior classes completely went into the topic of LGBT.
Reviews of the "child paintings"
"To draw something worthless, you have to paint at least a little"
"Academic drawing here doesn’t smell, even if touched"
"It is still unclear what sex these creatures are. How do you know they are gay? Per this alien is walking out the alien dog... or buriing it"
"The author refused to answer how many creatures he depicted"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113225
 11.05.2015
We have in our office the girl-in-law Alexandra Alexandrovna. In the local - "San Sanich".
xxx: Recently, a new man from the contractor, a man of 40 years, came to us. As it turned out later, he was sent with instructions to find San Sanichi, to report something and to hand over documents.
xxx: On the question "Where are you here San Sanich?" a thin female voice was heard from behind "I am here!". The confusion and panic look in his eyes were simply indescribable, it was worth taking a photo and hanging on the wall.
XXX: He has not appeared since then. We are worried

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113224
 11.05.2015
Bleat, it is only we and my husband so old-fashioned that we have a general budget, and no "paid me" in the family is not and can not be?
— — — —
Noah, we are two of us. I clearly remember how I was jealous of our family's longtime acquaintance, who learned that my wife and I put money in a box and take it from there. I didn’t shrink, I just shrink that they and her husband had a separate budget.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113223
 10.05.2015
Shame to ask.
____________________________________________________________________________
Tell me, how do you manage it after the work day?
Everyone has their own - someone prefers to build a career, someone just live.
___________________________________________________________________________

Does your husband just want to live?
I don’t know why people don’t like office workers so much that they’re all over the place. But many factories, for example, work five days. Not to mention changing schedules, 2/2, for example. There a person has 15 weekends a month, in which he can jump on horses and so on. Everyone wants to live and do what they love. But everybody wants to eat, have a roof over their heads, and these people have food, housing, clothes and travel money not materialized. They are earning. At the same job.
We will eliminate the possibility of accidents, I do not wish your husband any harm. He is a young man with a large family. But if tomorrow he decides that he doesn’t want to go to work, he just wants to live, what will you do?
For most people, work is a necessity. For others, a second job is a necessity. to survive. We all live in a little different conditions. For some, this is also a source of opportunity. Same as your husband.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113222
 10.05.2015
X: Fuck, I did almost nothing useful this weekend. But I watched two series from the beginning to the end 0_0 and flash five.
Yyy: And I. Yesterday I lay in bed for half a day, I think " I need to change something in this life", I went to my grandmother.
YYY: She was lying

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113221
 10.05.2015
Play with the fonts, fuck...Selled a small repair in the room, began to plan how to put the furniture. have put. She thoughtfully said, "Something I don't like, how everything stands here.Play with the couch to see how better it will be"And for an hour I was playing with the huge couch.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113220
 10.05.2015
RB: I have a diploma more like Lovecraft's recording
Ger is perfect!
Diploma found under unexplained circumstances.
Ger: In it, somewhere in the middle, those who will read it in its entirety will be able to see the secret symbols allowing to seize power over the world and open the gates of R'lehe.
Ger: And those who just blast - go crazy.

[ + 25 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113219
 10.05.2015
xxx: People, I changed the oil in the car, and the oil fell on the jeans, what to do how to wash, with the jeans... no "Vanish" helps, how to save the jeans? They are dear, I am very sorry for them.
yyy: pants favorite... I love the cat I can't wash off the oil... it would be better if it was like last time in the city did not go - it is at least washed away easily

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113218
 10.05.2015
I live in Germany. There are a lot of black refugees here. A few days ago I heard how they are officially called here - "strongly pigmented not of German origin" (stark pigmentiert nicht deutsche Abstammung). I’m not a racist, but black or black is much easier)))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113217
 10.05.2015
The wife, noticing the daughter sitting on the cold floor, with a strict voice:

A pillow under the pop!
D: I do not want.
J: What did I say? A pillow under the pop!

I offer my option:

D: Then put the pop on the pillow.

It worked :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113216
 10.05.2015
Edaniel: I was offended by other children in the camp. I’d rather stay with my grandmother.
zealot 123: my grandmother was beaten by other children, it was the best vacation ever.
Edaniel: Did your grandmother fight without rules at home?
trollthejoy3: I beat my grandmother’s other children. Your name is Dima?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113215
 10.05.2015
Zy) I met my husband once, when he went from work in the assembly combination, and for some reason it didn’t stress me. But tall, shouldery is a real man! And I was walking with the child and we both hanged on the turniket... And at the second meeting he came so beautiful that the spirit captured... Here I would send him then - I't have a great husband...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113214
 10.05.2015
I became a panda with these duties: I sleep, I eat, I sleep, I sleep, once a month I almost fuck.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna