bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82485
 05.06.2013
We and the employee were in Sevastopol, decided to pack a fish, picked up almost a bag, paid off, here in the packs of the mouth a local cat swirls. The saleswoman told him so tolerantly: "Vasecha, don’t need, you don’t eat it"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82484
 05.06.2013
XXX is
The sister asked her brother to print her spurs. My brother printed. 48 letters

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82483
 05.06.2013
I always know who made my lunch, if I eat, then the wool of their cat, if the wife, then our...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82482
 05.06.2013
Title of article: "Gender Director “Horizon”: we released a TV that can be controlled by touching the hand..."
Zlib: Nietzsche, soon the controller will be invented so that you don’t touch the TV with your hands every time.

[ + 45 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82481
 05.06.2013
I dreamed today that I was sitting in a class of Russian or literature. A pupil, a aunt I’ve never seen in my life, dictates homework for tomorrow. We all feverishly write under dictating a long sentence to sort out by composition, something about trees, they only read once, we do not have time, and here the sentence unexpectedly breaks. I am confused.
And she is already writing on the board a second task: to get acquainted with the work of three authors. And sign over the name of each of them the address of a personal website on the Internet. I ask: what kind of shit, what kind of personal blog has Floraevova or Blog? The 98th year. What is WWW?
And the teacher dictates a third homework, consisting of three points:
1st Watch the recording of Obama or his secretary's speech
2nd Listen to the soundtrack of Star Trek 2
Three Watch House 2 (third transmission)
Come up with a sentence and formulate it in the style of the characters of the 3 items listed. What? O_O
And immediately asks the excellent guy to give an example to the first point, so that everyone understands the task. Dobby loves President Obama as never before. I try in vain to imagine how this sentence would sound in the style of the last two points. At that moment I woke up in sweat.
I lie down and think: neither start-up nor house-2 watched, I don't know who Dobbie is. The mother...! I finished school 15 years ago.


[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82480
 05.06.2013
<Werkzeug> has twice come girls from other departments and asked for a cross screwdriver.
<Werkzeug> what does this mean?
<bh> and we are all asking the stars
<DartRabbit> Werkzeug: You have Christians.
<DartRabbit> bh: You have Muslims :)
<DartRabbit> This is a password, ept :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82479
 05.06.2013
In the discussion of the electronic tablet on the hub:
What happens if you eat 10 pills at once?
You can’t eat one shit, even with ketchup.

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82478
 05.06.2013
To the citation:

A surprising event happened to me today.
I quickly paid the receipt at Sberbank at a convenient time. You won’t believe me or say that I used the machine, but no, it was a live cashier, I saw it as clearly as I now see the keyboard. But everything in order.
I went to the office 25 minutes before the end of the day. I immediately noticed that someone was working. I got an electronic ticket and sat and waited for the couch. The only window was occupied. But here, 25 minutes before the end of the shift, another window opened and my number was called there. The woman quickly hand-picked the data from the receipt, and the translation fee was so low that I not only had enough money, but also left 20 rubles!!! to
Yes, you see with your own eyes how the quality of the service rises, and Russia rises from its knees.
___________________________________________________________________________________

This is a good try, Sberbank! I almost believed in the truth of the story)))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82477
 04.06.2013
xxx: I live in front of the Gazprom office. I can see from the window my dreams come true.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82476
 04.06.2013
Comments on Gay Articles:
Kowki 2013-05-17 17:19:49 #
How many people don’t like gay people. Why is? I do not understand.
Pigs, who should be hated.
Yes, the most important thing is to understand the difference between gay and pido, because gay guys are great guys! Homosexuals design iPhones for you, they cut you in the barber, they make websites for you, and the pudors suck up in your elevators and listen to the bullshit at 3 o’clock at night! Pidors are much worse than gays.
In order to be gay, at least you need to sleep with a man. On the other hand, in order to become a peder, it is enough to cut someone.
[ Answer ] [ + ] [ +52 ] [ - ]

Raw Pepper 2013-05-17 17:26:03 # ↑
Homosex detective

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82475
 04.06.2013
A: What do you think of the fact that I’m listening to Bieber’s latest album right now?
B: Mssie knows a lot about perversions

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82474
 04.06.2013
XHH: (link) This is the best option!
Do you know the word "poebhen"?
This is a decision!!! to
WOW: The solution is to shut down the gap in the ship with a naked ass, and this is a mess.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82473
 04.06.2013
My grandfather told me that every police officer is a separate cock.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №82472
 04.06.2013
Is it black tea?
I do not know, I am not a racist.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82471
 04.06.2013
I bought a hammer. His mother lives in a different city, but is interested in all the details of his life. He asked me to take a video of his work.
We sit and look.
At an uninteresting moment, I include "accelerated reproduction".
Mother with interest:
and oh! has failed!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82470
 04.06.2013
Discussion of an article from one of the Minsk newspapers of the 1960s.

"Managers of restaurant orchestras (Restaurant "Tchaika" on Tolbukhin, 3) made fashion to beat visitors."

Do you see how we went down? Previously, clients were beaten by the orchestra leader himself, personally! And now? What a guard...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82469
 04.06.2013
Q: I have an unusual question. What is it like to live on the 17th floor? What about the minus?
Yyy: From the 17th floor to write down is fun. Up too.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №82468
 04.06.2013
In Russia, the Reverse Robin Hood is widespread – they rob the poor and pay the rich to rob the poor again.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №82467
 04.06.2013
Judging by the latest news releases, in Turkey found oil?? to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82466
 04.06.2013
Maybe you decided to divorce me in secret?! to
Noah, what are you? Von Serega - while he was married, he played in tanks, and now he has no time for tanks, he goes to the grandmothers. I will never divorce you. I love tanks very much.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna