bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №138331
 30.01.2017
I have swallows... And not a small splash on my nose, but the whole face is sick. As far as I can remember, I’ve been fighting this harshly all my life. Creams, masks, lotions... everything marked “whitening.” The complex was a terrible year from 12. I couldn’t go out without putting on a layer of tonal and powder. She could not normally communicate with the guys, immediately looked away, turned her face.

As I got used to living with it, I became less frightened.

Here I am 25 years old.

I am at the box office in the supermarket. The man in front of me slightly drunk, watched for 3 minutes, and then said: - Oh, spring, girl, and you specifically painted this beauty?

This is what I want to say. This man turned my eyes with one phrase. That’s what I missed all these years, guys, where were you 15 years ago? So, the rubies who are embarrassed by their swans, do not parish. You are beautiful.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №138330
 30.01.2017
Once we had a programming department. Better than 2. A vacancy is hanged, such as a job above the city average, and specific knowledge is not required, except for the basic knowledge. 99% that will have to train on our profile. But here is the problem: a month or two is going, and to us only some life-taught sanitary technicians, cashiers, and ladies for 40 resumes.



My friend was looking for a job at that time. A smart and good programmer. He said he sent us a summary. But this did not happen to the leader. At that moment, a bad thought came to me. So I decided to check it out.



I took my resume. FIO also changed the name of the company at the last place of work. I sent. The perfect coincidence, you won’t even have to train. We were waiting for the results from all the departments. But, unfortunately, and that week hr brought only a bunch of accountants and vendors of age.



The manager, of course, then went to the selection of flights to these personnel recruitment specialists. It turned out that both I and my friend did not pass the age criterion, too young = inexperienced, and companies need good specialists (plunge that 95% of the IT department is under 30 years old).



A friend in the end successfully completed the test task, arranged for us. But it was somehow sad to imagine how many more literate specialists we missed.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №138329
 30.01.2017
What is going on in the heads of the villains? ! to Ordinary people don’t understand the motives of sociopaths.



Let me try to explain the mechanism.



Have you ever felt the joy of winning a game or competition? Endorphins hit the key and all that.

With a sociopath, the same thing happens in the body. By deceiving or deceiving, he receives a similar dose of joy hormones. Pleasure in a simple way. The trick is that for a sociopath, everyone around is an enemy. This is a small victory over the enemy. Your pain and sorrow are his bliss, and your joy is, on the contrary, like a bone in your throat.



But his joy is different from ordinary human joys. She is very obscure. No, not in conscience at all. of fear. of constant fear. The sociopath measures others on himself and always expects from them the same thing he does, and, of course, reward for his actions. This makes him afraid and hates people even more. This is an unchangeable pot with hatred.



Babes still have a strong influence on the factor of greater impunity, which also brings a lot of pleasure to the sociopath.



In cases with children and mountains, there is still burning jealousy. A sociopath is often jealous of what he does not have. For sociopathic grandmothers, this is youth and health. She would like to take it all for herself, but she cannot, but she may at least try to take it.



People rarely become such due to age changes. They usually carry it with them throughout their lives, but are carefully concealed. And by age, the brain weakens, the senses dim, and the sociopath-profi begins to burn black.



You could think about how a sociopathic personality is formed, but I’m already in my pyjamas.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138328
 30.01.2017
I brought a refrigerator a few days ago, and now he calls back. He says, “You know, I’m a musician. And he has two compressors in reversals do not match. Give me another, please, I can’t do that, I’m angry..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138327
 30.01.2017
I live in a typical panel house. Hearing is beautiful. The upper neighbor has a busy habit of using the toilet as an office - I don't know, parallel to the main destination or separately. You really enter the room and hear how serious such a voice speaks, how much to buy, who to send on a business trip to the Saratov region... Well, each has his own wonders, of course, although at first it was a bit steep - it seemed that the need was done carefully in the midst of the negotiation.

This miracle of nature once told me to scandalize - to say, I am preventing him from conducting business conversations and discrediting before partners! I had to promise that next time I would hire a peanut and not leave a stone on a stone from his business reputation! I don't know where he's talking now, but I can't hear him in the bathroom.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138326
 30.01.2017
From the Women’s Forum (Orthography preserved):
About two months ago I broke up with a man I loved. He gave me money so I could forget him. Now he is back again. He says that in order for me to clean up, in order to clean up our past relationships and get everything back, I must return the money back.
YYY: Where are those who give money)))))))))) we go out!)
HH: He was a guy. Here I gave.
ZZZ: Who is he now?? to
YYY: Now he wants to do a gender change surgery, but there is no money (
ZZZ: Now it is clear.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138325
 30.01.2017
News about the Cathedral and OMON.

XX: Who are those 30 parishioners for whom the council was pressed off for a time?

See also: OMON! 30 is. XD is

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138324
 30.01.2017
No, a man should not see your false imitator in any case. My ex-boyfriend got hysterical when he saw that my silicone friend was bigger than his member. Two days later, he shrugged his lips and didn’t talk to me. and competed. He said, I knew you wanted to be big.
I had to buy the same size as my boyfriend.
- And even better - less than a boyfriend, so that on his background feels like Heracles)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138323
 30.01.2017
xxx: Thanks to those who designed the electrical wiring in the old houses and placed a calling socket over the entrance door, we now include routers in these sockets.

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138322
 30.01.2017
The funniest vegetarian I’ve ever seen at home. I think friends brought him specifically - to show me, say, look, like you have never seen.
I was not warned in advance about the subtleties of his eating, and therefore quickly instilled him a salad. But the cake could be less vegetarian only if it was a liver cake (ah, there are those too). And so, they were just beetles of beaten egg proteins, lubricated with cream of cow’s oil, fat, like political trolls.
And under the teak, a devoured herbivora advocate suddenly committed an unexpected pirate - it turns out, he eats eggs, milk and butter when they don't look like eggs, milk and butter! That is, eggs and a glass of milk are prohibited, but eggs and milk blenders are for the sweet soul of Ooo.
I forgot to even ask what the name of this perversion is.
Maybe you know who?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138321
 30.01.2017
The authorities should think of us, not of us.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138320
 30.01.2017
The home sun

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you move, the main thing is that you don’t stop.”
by Bruce Lee)

I then just returned from the army a few days ago, but I already had time to buy myself the most fashionable jeans of the Pyramids.
In the evening, a friend of Valerko (also in the "Pyramids") jumped to me and called into the video salon for some deficit film, something like "Deadly Karatist", or "Sales police officer strikes back."
My father, accompanying us on the threshold, asked:

Did you go to the cinema at the satellite?
“Pf-f, Dad, the movie is yesterday, we’re in a video salon.
What else is this?
Do you not know? You are giving! In short, you pay a ruble, you enter, you sit down, there is a huge telescope - maybe 60 centimeters of screen. Include in appearance a cool American combatant with translation and everyone is watching. Come with us, you will not regret it.
Dad smiled and said:

“In the year fifty-two or three, a real TV with a water lens was brought to the club. So we also broke the crowds, because no one had seen television live at the time. They also took rubles from the nose, only with old money. Everyone sat down, pushed their heads, watched some news, and as well as you were entirely excited.
“Daddy, well you compared: a black and white telephone with a lens and an American movie in sight.
I do not see any fundamental difference.
How do you not see? You are joking, right?
"Remember my word, progress cannot be stopped, someday in thirty or forty years, and maybe even earlier - these your sights will be in every apartment, look - I don't want to.

Valeria and I evaluated Dad’s sad joke and looked around. Well, where in every house can take a view, if it stands like "Icarus" along with all the passengers?
Closing the door behind us, the father stopped, cried out to us and said:

- By the way, I now remember, once your grandfather Vasya, told how he and the boys, probably in the year of the twelfth or thirteenth, came to a wealthy neighbor. Half a day they were there with him: the straw was carved, the water was pulled, the wood was folded, something else on the farm was messed up, and for this the neighbor brought them into the hallway and showed a miracle - for five minutes he turned on a real electric light.
Vasya after that night did not sleep, dreamed that someday, in many years and in his house will appear his personal home sun.
Now guys, go on now. Good luck to see the lamp.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138319
 30.01.2017
At the doctor’s reception:
Doctor, it hurts me all!
– Well, you’re curled, baby: you don’t have enough money for everything.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138318
 30.01.2017
Local Electrical

"Don’t think of the fuck swallowing in the rosette!
Strike the current – you will die!
When the fucker passes by,
Maybe it’s better to die..."

c) the Internet space.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138317
 30.01.2017
Indonesia raises export duties on palm oil by six times

Soap and lakes travel in the EU
In Russia, cheese and cream and milk are priced.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138316
 30.01.2017
Drugs of Dreams

My dream of today broke all the records: I dreamed of "stacks". Snowflakes, drops, waves and so on. Volume, alive, absolutely natural. It was possible to change the color, speed and angle. The most peaceful and pleasant sleep in my life.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138315
 30.01.2017
Private clinics are full of doctors and nurses, who take in principle only duty - at night, on weekends, on holidays. and bla bla bla.

Everything would be like that, but private clinics are full where there are full of payable patients. In the poor depressed region - 1-2 private clinics for the wealthy, and the rest are running in the rows for the reception of OMS and do not binge, because there is no money. For the same reason in the province it is very difficult to earn a nurse, nurse, tutor, housewife - there may be a need for services, but there is no money for potential clients.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138314
 30.01.2017
No one does more for the development of atheism than the RPC with its raiders’ seizures of museums and public buildings!!!! to

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138313
 29.01.2017
In nine years, you can accumulate millions of dohera if you live, eat and dress with your parents.
What do you, as students, do about this nonsense?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138312
 29.01.2017
You are, easier...I have a friend – a pediatrician. She works from 8 to 20 in her clinic on 3 sites, and until 23 she writes all kinds of labours there for insurance companies and military offices...and on Saturday and Sunday she runs for calls in a private hospital, 6 calls a day for 12 thousand, and more - it is impossible to serve, the city is big and no one will be able to shuffle the addresses in one area for her. She has no cars. I spent 10 years in a small family room. But think for yourself, is this life? Anyone would hate this kind of work. So office plankton - you are not working at all, but the advice to give is very good...

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