bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] [12 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65633
 15.06.2012
I see, many people here complain that girls don’t know how to cook.
This is not an innate skill, skill comes with experience. Remember your computer games, or how you taught a foreign language - too, after all, at first were diletants, and then gradually increased the level.
- When you live with your parents, with your mother in the kitchen especially and you do not twist: first, the meterage does not allow, secondly, two housewives at the same plate... Well, imagine that you and your father are sitting behind a compot on the same chair, and trying to play at the same time)) Of course, some simple dishes (hot there, or charlotte) you will trust, and you will learn to cook them, but the chef of the kitchen is always a mother, and you are the maximum assistant worker and cleaner.
- When you live alone, you can do a salad or bouillon with grapes. I don’t want to get married, because. You remember very well how your mother lived, and there is no motivation to learn to cook.
- And then you meet a guy for whom you want to try, who you want to make pleasant, you start to get a nest for him)) Then you learn culinary wisdom, gradually gaining a level.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №65632
 15.06.2012
xxx: People, I may also be green, but I will still ask... say, frequent sex is not dangerous?
Well, I read that regular sex 2-3 times a week makes you look 10 years younger. 5-6 times a week?
YYY: Do you often shake?
Damn, how beautiful it is not to ask about this in a popular place!
YYY: Would you like me to ask you about this in private?

[ + 34 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65631
 15.06.2012
My 5 year old brother walks into the kitchen. His whole face is blue.
What about your face? Has someone beat you?
No, these are two traumas.
In what sense?
Brother, this is - I hit the door, and this was playing crocodiles. I jumped on the bed and faced the wall.
In the wall?? to
Brother, no problem, there was a pillow, really I was by it...
Immediately after these words he slides, grabs the chair and crashes into the closet together with the chair.

As the saying goes, “Everything is fine, a beautiful marquise, and everything else is fine.”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №65630
 15.06.2012
from JAP:

Aglobal
Molly, you’re funny, and I think where to put the money? Can a thousand for 500 in Moscow land be bought?

Seiner
At least in Moscow itself.
Go to a gardener's store and buy a couple of sacks of selected black-zeam.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №65629
 15.06.2012
XXX (10:11:39): Hello, Tanya, call me when you are in place.
UUU (12:59:47): I was in the archive before lunch
XXX (14:41:06): was you zippanula?)))))

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65628
 15.06.2012
I remembered, there was a case at the first course in physics. Prepod strict, did not like when the noise and quarrels. A couple goes, the predeal explains a task, everyone writes. Suddenly, with a hellish thunderstorm, one guy gets a iron thermos out of his bag, ten seconds of silence, the basement blows on everyone. A loud voice from the back:
Sorry, the pen has fallen.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65627
 15.06.2012
Toughened (14:44:25 14/06/2012)
Oh oh! I remembered here... one day I met an American and we spoke on Skype, but not a video, and the correspondence was... I opened an online dictionary on the net, inserted its text and he translated to me and back the same way.. and I decided to call, and I forgot that I don’t speak American:-D, so I pretended that I don’t have a sound, like I don’t hear it and I open my mouth without sounds... and here comes my mom into the room and grit – Len, went to the country?
Yeltsy (14:45:45 14/06/2012)
Shut up? I stopped talking to him, I was ashamed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №65626
 15.06.2012
The coach of the Netherlands has made a big deal.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65625
 15.06.2012
by Habr
Internet store introduced a special commission for users of IE7
Comment: A funny concept is “browser-based discrimination.”

[ + 43 - ] [27 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65624
 15.06.2012
I am in the hospital for four hours. Angry and hungry. There are no buffets. There was sugar, recently taken from the coffee, there is. I get out of the bag on my hand, I sit down and eat calmly. And then a tank approaches me in a female shape and with such a loud voice on the whole hospital: 'girl, addicts are taken into another body. The coolest thing was that I was accepted after that without a turn.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №65623
 15.06.2012
The Lion went first to Goodwin's palace and left behind a yellow brick road. He was very afraid.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №65622
 15.06.2012
“Dad, because of my broken arm, I miss this summer!
“Don’t worry, Bart, when you start working, you’ll be missing every summer.

"The Simpsons"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №65621
 15.06.2012
Sorry, I’ve been cut off =)

You are actually a royal head!
Head, what about you? You look bad!
I’m sorry I’ve cut off :-(

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №65620
 15.06.2012
Now in the dining room there was a painting with oil: they give a bowl. The girl takes the plate and is outraged: “Yes, it’s really cold! Warm up!"... And she is heated in the microwave oven.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №65619
 15.06.2012
In the topic about the rabbit (the rabbit ran to the territory of the country of one man, the man arranged a post saying call the owner and described the rabbit) the dialogue in the comments:

According to Norov, it is a rabbit kobel.
Commentator: I thought that gender is determined by the presence/absence of eggs, not norov...
Imagine a Su-25 flying over you. Where are his eggs? The rabbit moves at the same speed.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №65618
 15.06.2012
by WoT

Why did I get rid of my money when Bt7 hit me?? to
YYY: from both
XXX is his fault!! to
Zzzz: call the ept

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №65617
 15.06.2012
Ordinary Moscow courtyard, typical gastarbayters are engaged in the construction of the most usual football pitch. The base of the site is poured with concrete, and since it is in the middle of the juicy, green lawn and behind the window for the 3rd day is raining, after the concrete mixer carrying the material remains deep, dirty trails on the lawn... But the work is done and it is time to eliminate the trails. To sleep them and plant the grass, would you say? Logically... But the guests from the south thought differently: much smoother, simpler and more beautiful it will be if you pour the trails in the middle of the lawn with BETON and level it off with blades, than with the attachment of a young first-class woman and took 4 liquidators.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №65616
 14.06.2012
Sonic: Hard tamada - "Fast stung and drank!":)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №65615
 14.06.2012
Yes, I go to porn sites just to check my antivirus!! to

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65614
 14.06.2012
Yes, the Japanese know a lot about minimalism, just look at their classic homes
Yyy: Better immediately in the atlas on their islands.and :-)

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