bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127858
 09.05.2016
Who will explain to the incomprehensible why all around are wearing these thrones?
I tried to watch, the first 2-3 series hardly endured, then still went away from the feeling of ugliness for a week

Yyy: It is harsh realism. The rarity.

Standard scenario: the hero is a poor man who first gets weak on his neck, then learns and goes to break down the fort of evil. The enemy kills anyone, but does not hit him.

Game of Thrones: The hero gathers in an epic campaign, cheering the crowds, goes to the goal and...

1st He was killed by a knife for a couple of coins.
2nd He broke his head when he fell from his horse.
Three I like unhealthy seeds.
4 is Taki destroys the fortress, but is killed in a dream by a traitor.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127857
 09.05.2016
About the office temperature. You haven’t been in our hospitals this summer – that’s where hell is. Especially if you are the youngest in the chamber, and all the others over 60 and endlessly. Our windows and doors at +30 were always tightly covered. And do not let God try to complain about the spirit, you will be explained with a scream as you, Herod, are wrong and want their death from the doorstep (!)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127856
 09.05.2016
Fuck, how I regret telling my wife 15 years ago that I’m not afraid of flying on a plane! My tongue is my enemy. No legal reason to drink at the airport before landing can now be found.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127855
 09.05.2016
Tell me, American, what is the power? In the money?
Of course not. Power in knowledge. Do you know what our debt is?
Here you are the fool!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №127854
 09.05.2016
I am driving now in a bus ride, behind me are two guys from the Middle Asian weak Russian-speaking outdoors. One of them apparently met a girl and is re-writing. The men held the following dialogue (without taking into account the accent).

How do you write: are you my sweet sheep or a sheep?

Do not send! It is not a compliment!

The poor girl.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127853
 09.05.2016
From a women's forum: "Tell me, can they become curved from sexual intercourse on the side of the leg or is my husband just so scared?"

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127852
 09.05.2016
I'm learning to run a web server on Linux Can you find out more where can there be problems at what moments?

The answer:

1 - Search for the current manual to work
2 - "why does the nichera not work?"
3 -" about this worked, for that it stopped... "
4"What am I spending my life on? andquot;
5 -" Life is a pain. Tagged with"
The idea is fucking, Linux is fucking, I am fucking. Internet is like a moment, reboot... Oh, get started, it works, I get started, Linux get started, but the idea is shit"
7 - "all shorter, understood how to do, only now will have to reinstall the operating device"

somehow :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127851
 09.05.2016
Success is when you fail to meet the hopes of your enemies.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №127850
 09.05.2016
In a cafe in the park. Dad and little daughter took some delicious food, the daughter ran for a table free to look for (people, though a little, but almost all the tables are occupied one way or another, the tables are ordinary plastic with four chairs in a circle). I found a free table and sat down on a chair for it. And while her daddy was walking, on the other chair behind this table sat some aunt and laid things on the two remaining chairs and his hands grabbed in them, on the weak objections of the girl does not pay attention, the kind of fuck me, I sat here and nothing I know, went all off, and the girl is almost crying. The late father did not scandalize, turned his daughter with a chair back to his aunt, asked for a free chair at the neighboring table, and put this table between himself and his daughter, leaving his aunt to sit on three chairs in the middle of the lawn.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №127849
 09.05.2016
This morning there was a guy in front of me who opened a surprise, ate chocolate and threw out an egg with a toy without opening it! He dropped the toy!! I am still trembling... Alena, 38 years old

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127848
 09.05.2016
You don’t have a Georgian tape. Do you respect veterans?
You have no chicken. Do you hate all Russians?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127847
 09.05.2016
News headline: "Rapper Basta headed both Russian iTunes rankings."

This is all you need to know about Apple products.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127846
 09.05.2016
I sit in the bathroom and wash my hands. I suddenly hear – "Hey, you hear?" I understand, I hear, but how – is not clear. I start looking for the source of the sound, suddenly a replica to my address - "Let's go out". I start slowly putting the bricks off...Where’s the sound, your mother? And the sound is like a racy, and a mouth... Again - "Why are you standing, you dig something?"Bl*t, what shit is it? I look at the washing machine, and there the rubber tick from the radio gives me - "Comrade Major, let's go now!", "Zaya, why did you turn on the first channel on this shit?"! to

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127845
 09.05.2016
To Rome Broncheyn, who lost ancestors on the fronts – one grandfather at Leningrad, the second at Balaton – the Chita cape will say: “Say thank you, Zayder, that we saved you from Hitler.” Even though the grandfather was sitting at the cascade from the thirty-eighth to forty-sixth for breaking the food bar.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127844
 09.05.2016
HH: It’s all a lie, of course.
HH: But maybe it is true.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127843
 09.05.2016
Foreigners are no longer surprised that the Russians eat a spoonful of condensate from a bench and do not smell on bread.

<><><>>
Even Vinnie-Puch, having come to the USSR, asked the Rabbit for honey and condensate without bread.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127842
 09.05.2016
I work with full employment for 20,000 r. a month as an engineer. And I sometimes wash my windows and dust for 4000 p. a day.
And you continue to scare your children "You will not learn - you will become a courtier"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127841
 09.05.2016
The same feeling when I didn’t understand what was funny in the quote about the city...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127840
 09.05.2016
Invisible Child: Yesterday it was +24, the sun and warm, and today was wet snow. "Everything you wanted to know about Siberia", volume 3.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127839
 09.05.2016
The brokers refuse to bet on the victory of Sergey Lazarev at the "Eurovision".
No one has the extra money to take home "Eurovision"-2017. We learned that everyone will give the first place to Russia!

ууу: brokers understandably refuse, bookmakers are doing this)))

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