XXX: I remember it was 15 years old, the case was. I met a girl in a dating chat, talked about the evenings and agreed to meet the next day, near the cinema. I approach, I see her from a distance, I see her nearby. Well, I think, a friend or neighbor of any, she is not stupid, how much to walk with me. I approach, greet her, then extend my hand to the forehead and introduce myself. He shakes my hand and calls my name. Then he immediately polently says goodbye to the type "good, I went" and left. The beautiful woman begins to laugh. At the question in my eyes she explained that she does not know this guy at all and he approached her to meet her while she was waiting for me, says even his name I did not know)

...in my presence, they are constantly ripping and shooting, because I am a gastroenterologist, and no one cancelled flatulence and heartburn. The balloons in the cooler we (the aunts) also change ourselves, because the men in the team are not at all. Recently own-handed repair of the house with the help of a perforator, since the salary does not allow to hire repairers.
Question: Can I be awarded the title of Honourable Man?

Asked today the younger brother (14 years old) "Which question can’t be answered no?" He thought for a minute and said: "Do you want to eat?"

The news:
The Minister of Culture of the Russian Federation Vladimir Medinsky discussed on Friday with the family of the folk artist of the USSR Vyacheslav Tikhonov the possibility of installing in Moscow a monument to the actor in the image of Isaev-Stirlic, reports ITAR-TASS.

The commentary:
This will be the world’s first monument in Hitler’s shape.

to this:
Yesterday my uncle brought a male rabbit in a cage for the tribe.
There is a cage in front of the house, the beast leaves the road.
The guys ran, watched, the grass grabbed.
What is the name of the rabbit?
Man: "The Second"

_______
I’ve read "Please bring it to me". Hello to intuition.

xxxh: you can't judge the occupations of a person by his status of VK, I'm just scratching his nose in general, and in the status of this there is no)))
Are you a sex giant or a gymnast?
HH: No to yours!
by O_O
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! wooded
Are you a disabled person? :)
ZZZ: Buratino he
I make a gift to a friend - I drink a member from a tree
You have good friends...
I asked him what to give him and he was evil, he said "you will give me, I know you", I decided - I will not disappoint a friend :D

A list of things that have been killed over the last few years by the widespread Internet:
...
9 is Music shops
Give 1000 rubles for the new album of Dima Bilan or download it for free from Internet pirates? The choice is obvious, is it?"
...
Obviously, it is not to download or buy.

Zaya is Hi! How are you after yesterday?
I woke up at 12 a.m. today from a phone call. I decided not to start the morning with the idiots and did not take the phone.
What did he do right away?? to
I don’t know if it was signed on the phone.
Zhao, it was I who called.

I just understood why in movies Americans walk around the house in shoes. When the police hit the house, it is more convenient for them to jump out of the window and escape by escaping.

Problems with studying?? to
See also: AGA
He: What is it? Do they not like and do not want to pay?
This is a problem, a lot of debt!
He: What are you? Looking for beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile? I wandered, but the priests usually wandered out of the impure, and were more likely to write in a note.)
She: You can make an agreement... for sex
He: Well you agree and come with a rubber pussy and the phrase: turn around, professor))))

>>yy: I once drove in a blue jacket to the universe. And the conductor decided to put some roaring grandmother on a free seat next to me. And he says to her, “Grandmother, go sit down, voon there... well voon there where it’s blue.” No one has humiliated me yet.
Redhead: Was it humiliated? Then he said to me, “Listen, you remind me of a hernia.”

Why do the Hachics ride with such a proud appearance?
And what you wanted, a jigsaw for them is a foreign mark.

I work in an asphalt laying company.Today a call to the main office.I pick up the pipe, the question goes on - "When will the asphalt laying be completed at the address "Address"?I answer, such a number, I ask, who is interested and why?After the answer, I understood all the nonsense of my work - "Water channel.

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xxx: I call the boss, I say, said so and so, and he is like this: “Yes, he already got people to ham, the fines do not help, can you hit the ham in the face?”
xxx: o_o

There is a category of people who always need the most – they are rich.

When I was a little girl, so from 2 years old, Daddy so that I did not give his mother or grandmother bought me a kidney. Moreover, it always worked impeccably, I always kept his cushions in secret.

Now I am an adult, my family, my job, and so on. One day I went out for a walk with my dad and husband, and my mom strictly forbade my dad to drink. They had to go somewhere the next day. My daddy, of course, did not listen to her, went in and bought beer for everyone, and I said to him, “Mommy, she’ll bite.” he silently returned to the store and went out there with a kidner, stretched it to me and said, “Well, we won’t say anything to Mommy?” and a smile to the ears=) How nice that I am still a child for him=)

If at 40 you jump over the turniket, then health is okay, but it is worth thinking about life.

Comments on the news about the arrest of the "bad" official
XXX: How does this earth wear?
XXX: The Fucking Creature!
xxx: 4% of the amount of the municipal order in a repayment demanded!
XXX: There are no words!
XXX is falling!
xxx: Everywhere, fucking, all over the country 3% take, and this fucking 4% wanted!

Alexandra, you can’t tell stories. It is necessary that from the first word the listener was interested, there must be some hint on the development of events. I have a friend, a great storyteller. One of his stories begins with the words: "I go on a scooter with a stand" learn.)

It was when I just started dating my future husband. We talk, we flirt with each other. He talks about his accomplishments in the square. I, dreamingly, ask a question with a hint:
Can you carry 55 kg long on your hands?
He obviously did not understand my hint, he replies:
If I make a pen, I can wear it for a long time.
I kept silent for a moment:
No one has ever called me a fool with a pen.